Friday, June 29, 2018

What is the Love you seek?

Unitarian Universalists have developed a campaign that is branded, "Standing On The Side Of Love." What is the Love to which this campaign refers? It probably is not eros and more likely agape and philia.

We live in a culture which puts a high value on the romantic relationship, the one special relationship which we are taught to believe will make us whole, and complete, and happy.

This belief in the salvation of romantic relationships is utter nonsense as they fail more often than they succeed because they are based on the scarcity principle. This scarcity principle is the delusional belief that only this other special person can make us happy.

This belief that only another special person can make us happy is a delusion which leads us to hell. This delusion is based on the unconscious idea that the other special person can give us what we are lacking in ourselves. When the special other pays any attention to anyone else or anything else we go into panic mode that this feared abandonment and rejection will be the death of our emotional, psychological, and social well being.

This search for what is lacking in ourselves in others can only lead to failure. We are looking for love in all the wrong places and wind up playing the game described in A Course In Miracles of "Seek and do not find."

We move from one disappointing special relationship to another usually in succession, but sometimes simultaneously. Betrayal and bitterness, hurt and sorrow become the fruits of our misguided search for Love. At some point, the wise, more mature person comes to realize that the Love they are seeking is within themselves. It is the oneness with the all that they seek and that is found within and between others in a Holy relationship which is inclusive and not exclusive.

When we come to realize that the romantic love we seek is simply using other people and a subtle form of exploitation, we come to see our guilt and shame from the mistakes we have made looking for love where it cannot be found.

True love is unconditional. True love is not based on a "give to get" cycle of mercenary, conditional exchange. We come to realize that we can't give what we don't have, we can't share what we don't possess. True happiness comes from within when we realize the grace of our Oneness with Creation.


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