tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8647562459433740241.post2548805481412943314..comments2023-08-23T08:27:08.039-04:00Comments on UU A Way Of Life: Why do hurtful things happen to me?David G. Markhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08336565533124142690noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8647562459433740241.post-92064739639825259612009-01-21T12:06:00.000-05:002009-01-21T12:06:00.000-05:00Being The Emerson Avenger and all I have plenty of...Being The Emerson Avenger and all I have plenty of thought to contribute to this particular post of yours David. I will provide a point-by-point response, including some counterpoint soon enough but have other priorities right now. I agree with much of what you say here and where I respectfully disagree, and provide some respectful and reasonable counterpoint, I am confident that after giving it some further thought you will agree that I have made some valid (counter)points.<BR/><BR/>OK I do have time for these important counter-points right now.<BR/><BR/>:Forgiveness requires an apology and the ego says that being right is the foremost requirement for its continued existence and submitting to the truth through apology means the destruction of the ego and a submission to the greater good which the ego fears.<BR/><BR/>Unconditional forgiveness does not require anything for the simple reason that it is both unilateral and *unconditional*. That being said, not everyone is prepared to (or required to) provide unconditional forgiveness when they have been seriously hurt and/or serious harm has been done to them. In such cases a sincere and adequate apology made by the perpetrator of the offense aka hurt aka harm can and should pave the way for forgiveness. I have a personal policy of almost always unconditionally accepting apologies from people when they are totally voluntary (i.e. unsolicited), timely, apparently sincere, and adequate, even if I have some doubts about the offender's motivation for the apology, such as seeking to avoid any further accountability for their offense. I can say more on this point but that is enough for now AFAIAC. <BR/><BR/>:Lastly, forgiveness requires the making of amends which is the repairing of the harm done.<BR/><BR/>Again, unconditional forgiveness does not *require* anything at all. No amends, no reparations of any kind. As you and I well know, sometimes the hurt and harm is simply not repairable. None-the-less, where it is possible that amends can be made, and partial or complete repairing of <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0t0EW6z8a0" REL="nofollow">the damage done</A> can be made, this should be encouraged towards the end of healing the hurt and harm aka wounds that have been inflicted by the perpetrator of the offense. In that Unitarian*Universalist congregations "<A HREF="http://www.thefreedictionary.com/covenant" REL="nofollow">covenant</A>" (i.e. solemnly promise or even enter into a formal contractual agreement) to affirm and promote justice, *<A HREF="http://www.thefreedictionary.com/equity" REL="nofollow">equity</A>* and compassion in human relations I believe that it is particularly incumbent upon Unitarian*Universalist congregations, the individuals who belong to and thus comprise those congregations, and U*U religious leaders in particular, to make every effort to provide genuine restorative justice to any and all victims of the hurt and harm caused any and all injustices and abuses perpetrated by U*Us, especially this injustices and abuses perpetrated by and/or perpetuated by U*U clergy and UUA leaders. <BR/><BR/>More later. . .<BR/><BR/>Sincerely,<BR/><BR/>Robin EdgarRobin Edgarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208142626285495635noreply@blogger.com