Love is not something you do; it is your state of being.

It seems paradoxical to become aware that we fear love. We are afraid of getting too close and getting hurt again. We are afraid of having our heart broken again and so we keep our distance or we become possessive and jealous and at times we even hate the ones or the things which we perceive as abandoning us or rejecting us or attacking us in some way.

It is poetic to say, "Love hurts," but that is not true if we understand what Love is. It would be more precise to say, "Ego hurts." because what we call "love" is not real Love.

Osho says, "Very few people in the world are loving, that's why there is so much misery. Everybody wants to be loving, everybody wants to be loved, but nobody learns the art of loving. It is a great art. You are born only with the potential, but potential has to be transformed into the actual. It has to be made into a reality and the first requirement is becoming more alert."

Most people don't know what love is. It is easier to say what love is not. Love is not jealous. Love is not possessive and controlling. Love is not manipulative to get one's needs met. Love is not attachment and clinging to reduce one's insecurities and fears. Love is not caring for so one can feel superior.

Love is unconditional and a sharing of one's well being and peace. Love is generous and forgiving and nurturing. Love desires the well being of the other as if the other were part of oneself. Love is kind, benevolent, and whole hearted. Love really has no definition because it is beyond definition. It's opposite is not hate but fear. Love is joining with the whole and as such love is a holy thing, a holy experience which brings peace, joy, and bliss.

Further, love is not special and not exclusive. The art of being loving is a state of being not an attitude towards a special object. We don't do love. It is not a thought, or a feeling, or a behavior. Love is a state of being. And as Stephen Gaskin said one time, the only thing, in the last analysis, we really have to offer another human being, is our own state of being.

Osho teaches that in order to become a loving being and not asleep in the ego we have to be alert. As was written on the men's room wall over the urinal, "Be a lert. The world needs more lerts."

Lent is coming.

As a Roman Catholic Unitarian Universalist I am excited about the fact that Lent is coming. Ash Wednesday is next Wednesday, 02/14/18, the same day as Valentine's Day. Is that a coincidence or a special message to remind us that the Lenten season is a time of Love when we turn our attention to Love and purify our hearts and minds from the works of the ego.

Here on UUAWOL there will be a special series of posts during Lent. We hope you will join us.

Brokenness is the work of the ego. It does not exist in the mind of God.

All Souls Church in Tulsa, OK has a theme based ministry meaning that all church activities focus on a different theme every month. The theme for February, 2018 is brokenness.

Leonard Cohen's great song, Anthem, has a lyric "There is crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Leonard Cohen may have taken this idea from Rumi, the great Muslim poet.

In A Course In Miracles it is taught that the gap, the crack, the separation is the tiny mad idea of the ego. People on the path of the ego are broken, lonely, isolated, alienated, separate from their brothers and sisters and existence. People on the path of the ego have not realized and become aware that they have done this to themselves and it is unlikely to change until they become aware of the choice they have made and choose again, hopefully, for the path of the spirit which is a path of healing, reconciliation, joining with their brothers and sisters and existence.

It is a scary thing to give up one's ego, to surrender as the third of the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous advises us to do, "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

This shift from the path of the ego to the path of the spirit is what A Course In Miracles calls a "miracle." The beginning of the text of A Course In Miracles lists the 50 principles of miracles. The eighth principle states, "Miracles are healing because they supply a lack; they are performed by those who temporarily have more for those who temporarily have less.."

The miracle heals the brokenness. The miracle rests in the understanding and awareness that we are participants in God's love and that essentially we lack nothing and are not broken in any way. Lack, scarcity, and brokenness only occurs on the path of the ego. The path of the spirit knows nothing of this because it is not real but illusionary.

On the path of the spirit we come to the awareness that everything is basically okay in spite of the drama we experience in our ego world.

Bottom line is that brokenness is not real. We are part of God's love which is Unconditional Love. This is the Universalist faith which we have inherited and it is our honor and privilege to extend to others.

Sanctification of the world

The third principle of seven of Unitarian Universalism is to covenant together to affirm and promote the acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations (and I like to add, the world.)

It is taught in A Course In Miracles that the opposite of love is fear. Fear is manifested in many ways, most often as anger, and/or guilt. Most of us do not manage our fears well.

Anxiety disorders are the most prevalent psychiatric diagnoses in the United States and the ones for which the most psychotropic medications are prescribed, and other chemicals are used to manage fears by individuals who choose to do so through self medication.

Fears are what trouble us and provide the most anguish and suffering. And the spiritual antidote for our fears is so simple, but rarely taught and recognized, let alone used.

The antidote for fear is forgiveness. It is written in A Course In Miracles, "You share no evil dreams if you forgive the dreamer, and perceive that he is not the dream he made. And so he can not be a part of yours, from which you both are free. Forgiveness separates the dreamer from the evil dream, and thus releases him." T-28.V.3:1-3

The simple formula for healing and health is, "I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me. Thank you, I love you."

It takes a big person to rise to this level of awareness and action. Most of us, stuck in our egos, are not willing and able, but there are a few who have achieved a presence of mind at this miraculous level. Seek them out. Learn from them. Emulate them. Join them in their work to sanctify the world.

ISL 101 Week 1 part 2 -Outline of course housekeeping

We will come back to the question of “How do people come to realize that they have choice between the path of the ego and the path of the spirit?” First, let me describe the purpose of this course on the Interior Spiritual and some of the aspects of its design and implementation.

Purpose - The purpose of the course, “The Interior Spiritual Life 101” is to describe the phenomenon of the interior spiritual life and to provide a vocabulary and the major concepts that can be used to provide a form and content of the phenomenon. It is hoped that this model of form and content can then be used to create, develop, sustain, and navigate one’s interior spiritual life and have some appreciation of the possible interior spiritual life of others.

Eligibility for admission to this course. This is a basic course and no prior knowledge is necessary. It is a difficult course for the student  new to this material because so much of the vocabulary and concepts are unfamiliar. It is not uncommon for new students to be uncomfortable, anxious, and resistant. Therefore, some level of commitment by the student to continue to study the material must be made. Otherwise, it is easy for the student to become discouraged, bored, defensive and quit. Usually people don’t become interested in their interior spiritual life under they are in their 40s and 50s, but some young people who are “old souls” are interested and resonate with the material at a much younger age.

Hoped for outcomes - The biggest outcome is an enhancement in peace and happiness in the student. There will be an increase in self-confidence, sense of well being, and connection to the various aspects of life. Other people will notice and perhaps comment on a “glow” coming from the person which is sometimes called “good vibes.” The person will relate to others in a more forgiving, kind and loving way. The ultimate outcome will be an attitude of unconditional love for self and others and the world.

Format - The primary pedagogical activities will be reading and reflection. The teacher of the course is available for personal email correspondence if the student desires. Videos and online polling may be used from time to time. Telephone consultations may be provided upon request. An online discussion group will be set up for registered class members.

Rules of participation - People can audit the course by just accessing the material on UUAWOL. If people wish to register for the course to receive supplemental materials by email and join the members only discussion group they must apply to davidgmarkham@gmail.com. Comments to online material are moderated and it is required that comments be civil, polite, and respectful. Disagreement and conflicting opinions, respectfully expressed, are welcomed.

Evaluation - Evaluations will be done based on online polls and quizzes, and mid term and end of course questionnaires. Evaluations will be focused on the course content, process and outcomes and not on the performance of individual students.

Tomorrow we will return to the question “How do people come to realize that they have choice between the path of the ego and the path of the spirit?”

Love your enemies - how?

In Unitarian Universalism we covenant together to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person as well as justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. What does it take to implement and apply these two principles? Ultimately what it takes is forgiveness.

In Murray Bowen's model of family systems, the concept of the cut off is very significant. Bowen's model is trans generational and he points out that cut-offs can go on for generations as was the case of the Capulets and the Montagues in Romeo and Juliet, or the Hatfields and the McCoys here in the United States that lead to the deadly blood feud in which many family members were killed.

Cut-offs, "estrangements," is the more common word, are very common. These estrangements are often bitter, resentful, full of grudges and recrimination, and often vengeance and retribution. Jesus, God bless Him, says that we are to love our enemies. Goodness gracious! How are we to do that? These others are bad, mad, and/or disloyal. How, in God's name, are we suppose to love them?

The first step is to recognize and acknowledge that in spite of the problems, they have inherent worth and dignity. God loves them as part of God's creation as much as God loves us. Hard to believe but true.

The second step is to be kind to them, that is civil and polite, even when we have our differences. This civil and politeness, even if not accepted and reciprocated, is its own reward because we have recognized the divine spark within the other and intentionally have made a decision to join with it.

The third step is to turn our intention over to the Holy Spirit for guidance and correction. At this point, we let go and let God. We do our best and God will do the rest. It is comforting to approach people with compassion and an open heart when our fears lead us to defend ourselves, close off our hearts, and even attack.

In the Christian prayer, the Our Father, we pray in part "...forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us......."

The fourth step is forgiveness, which simply means, to raise above and change our attitude in a loving direction in spite of what we perceive the other person as having done or is doing. Jesus says as the Romans are torturing and crucifying Him, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." If Jesus can forgive his torturers and executioners as they kill his body, it demonstrates that we, too, are capable of doing the same. They killed Jesus' body, but they couldn't kill His spirit nor can anyone kill yours unless you let them.

Week one of Interior Spiritual Life 101 course

Today is the first day of the first week of the UUAWOL class on the Interior Spiritual Life (ISL). This class will run 16 weeks during the spring semester 2018 of the UUAWOL academy

This first week we will be considering the introduction to the course which will include the purpose, eligibility for admission, the hoped for outcomes, the format, the rules of participation, and the evaluation.

Then we will describe the beginning  of developing an interior spiritual life. While some argue that the ISL is there all along and people are not just aware of it, others would argue that unless people are aware of it, they don't have one, at least one they are aware of.

The existential philosophers argue that every one has a raison d'etre, a reason for being, and other existential philosophers argue that there is no raison d'etre and suicide is the most appropriate response to life if it has no meaning.

The hedonists argue that the only point of life is pleasure and we should strive to experience as much of it as we can in all its shapes and forms, otherwise what's the point of life?

UUAWOL takes the position that it is not a bad life if one knows how to live it. The Dali Lama says that the purpose of life is happiness and this statement leads to the question, "What will make me happy?"

It is the position of this course on the interior spiritual life that we have to choose between the path of the ego and the path of the spirit but we can't make this choice until we become aware that there is a choice to make. How do people come to realize that they have a choice?

to be con't