Righteousness - The UU sin

Righteousness

In denying, further, that “Sometimes there are no two good sides,” and, by implication, this is one of those times, the writer further justifies extremist thinking and behavior. In this case, the writer’s belief is not only presumed to be right but righteous, and, therefore, must be defended, even if doing so means denying the freedoms of those who disagree with the writer’s morally absolute “side.”

Eklof, Todd. The Gadfly Papers: Three Inconvenient Essays by One Pesky Minister . Kindle Edition. 

Religious thinking often resorts to righteousness. “We are right and everyone else is wrong.” Polarization is not only encouraged but believed to be not only desirable but the only legitimate position to be taken.

This is very common in Unitarian Universalism in spite of the lip service paid to the idea of affirming and promoting a free and responsible search for truth and meaning. This is all well and good as long as the truth and meaning we hold as sacrosanct is honored and supported. Disagreement and other ideas are seen as a threat and attack and some people immediately take on a victim role and say things like “I didn’t come here for this. If you continue with this train of thought, I’m leaving.” This is a very common strategy for managing conflict and tension in UU congregations.

What is to be done about this? What will take for more mature ways of managing tension to be learned and utilized? In A Course In Miracles there is a wonderful question, “Would you rather be right ot be happy?

A Course In Miracles Workbook Lesson #285 - My holiness shines bright and clear today.

 Lesson #285

My holiness shines bright and clear today.

The idea that we create our own reality is very simple when we understand the psychological concept of “implicit bias.” Implicit bias means that we tend to see what we expect to see. If we wake up in the morning and expect bad things to happen then we selectively perceive any evidence we find that we are right. If, on the other hand, when we wake up in the morning and expect good things to happen, we find evidence for that expectation as well.

In Alcoholic Anonymous it is suggested, in step eleven, that we seek to improve our conscious contact with the Divine through prayer and meditation. Prayer and meditation simply enhance awareness of holiness (wholeness).

In Unitarian Universalism we join together to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person. As we affirm and promote this inherent worth and dignity, we become increasingly aware of our own holiness as well as that of others.

Today, it is suggested that we accentuate the positive and diminish the negative. All it takes is a refocusing on what’s really important in our lives and in the world.

Safetyism - The toxic virus infecting Unitarian Universalism

Safetyism

Lukianoff and Haidt have coined a term to describe this belief that it is morally correct that some freedoms, especially the free flow of ideas, be sacrificed in the name of safety. “Safetyism,” they say, “refers to a culture or belief system in which safety has become a sacred value, which means people become unwilling to make trade-offs demanded by other practical or moral concerns.”[1] Safetyism, additionally, extends the traditional understanding of what being safe means. “Their focus on ‘emotional safety’ leads many of them to believe that… ‘one should be safe from not just car accidents and sexual assault but from people who disagree with you.’”[2] Since disagreeable ideas are, thus, considered harmful and injurious in a culture of safetyism, many of its adherents feel justified in using violence to protect themselves and others against dangerous beliefs. As a UC Berkeley Op-ed claimed after a violent protest there, “physically violent actions, if used to shut down speech that is deemed hateful, are ‘not acts of violence,’ but, rather, ‘acts of self-defense.’”[3] Whether violent or not, safetyism reflects a value system that stands in opposition to free speech, not unlike the mindset of those legislators who passed the “Patriot Act” after 9/11, which sacrifices individual freedoms in the name of national security.

Eklof, Todd. The Gadfly Papers: Three Inconvenient Essays by One Pesky Minister . Kindle Edition. 

Safetyism is the toxic virus which is destroying Unitarian Universalism. I have noticed it since I got involved on UU congregations around 2005. There always seemed to be hidden agendas and I noticed that some ideas were quickly marginalized and silenced subtly if those in power in the congregation didn’t like them.

It is a cancer that has metastasized throughout the denomination which has been identified with difficulty managing conflict and disagreements. Tension management is a huge problem for UUs. One person told me she left her UU congregation because everyone was “too nice.” “Nice” people are stealthily dangerous.

Nowadays there is a new vocabulary which has emerged stifling free speech and expression of ideas under the umbrella of “microaggressions” which require “trigger warnings” so spare people hurt feelings and the complaint of not feeling safe. These plaintiff complaints shut down the free expression of ideas and articulations of feelings. To abide by the norm requiring “niceness” people just walk away as congregations dwindle and the denomination becomes stagnant.

Todd Elkof is highlighting this issue and suggests there is a better way. Many agree with him although those in power have ignored him or essentially shunned him and his troubling ideas. Elkof is calling for a self reckoning for UU congregations which is long overdue.

Safetyism is a pernicious dynamic which is stultifying the life and grace of Unitarian Universalism especially in light of its fourth principle which is the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. This dynamic has gotten worse with the increase in female leadership at the congregational and association level. Awareness of this dynamic is the first step forward to positive change. If you can’t name it, you can’t manage it and safetyism is a huge barrier to further denominational and congregational growth and evolution.

A Course In Miracles Workbook Lesson #284 - I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt.

 Lesson #284

I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt.

There is a difference between denial and forgiveness. Denial doesn’t recognize and acknowledge the problem. Forgiveness recognizes, acknowledges, and rises above the problem in such a way that the mind and soul are healed. It is forgiveness that changes all thoughts that hurt.

In Alcoholic Anonymous it is suggested in step eleven that we improve our conscious contact with the Divine through prayer and meditation. This improvement comes from changing our focus from the world of the ego which is separation and divisiveness to the world of the Spirit which is love and Oneness. In simpler terms, we can choose hell or heaven.

In Unitarian Universalism we join together to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person which, most of the time, we choose not to see. We get blinded by resentments, grievances, and fear. As today’s lesson teaches us, we can elect to change the thoughts that hurt.

Today, many times during the day, it is suggested that we pause and reflect on the choice we have. Would we see hell or heaven, fear and attack, or forgiveness and love?

A Course In Miracles Workbook Lesson #283 - My true identity abides in You.

 Lesson #283

My true identity abides in You.

Neale Donald Walsch, the author of the Conversations with God books, teaches that if you don’t like the word “God” substitute the word “Life.” We can deny a belief in “God” but we can’t deny a belief in “Life” since we are living it. This is what is meant by today’s lesson which is “My true identity abides in You.” In other words, My true identity abides in Life.

In Alcoholic Anonymous it is suggested in step three that we make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Life as we understand Life. We keep trying to make Life something it’s not by making it treat us in certain ways that don’t seem to always work out. What’s wrong? It’s our willfulness rather than willingness to go with the flow, the Tao.

In Unitarian Universalism, we covenant together to affirm and promote a respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part. In UU we are encouraged to show a little respect. As Aretha Franklin sang in her great song, R E S P E C T.

Today, it is suggested that we remind ourselves many times that our true identity abides in the whole enchilada which we name ‘You” meaning, God, Life, Ground of Our Being, Tao, Transcendent Source, or as Luke Skywalker calls it “The Force.” To do this we have to give up our egos and let go and let God and Life is what it is all about.

A Course In Miracles Workbook Lesson #282 - I will not be afraid of love today.

 Lesson #282

I will not be afraid of love today.

People are afraid of love because it means they have to give up their ego and it is that surrender to unconditional love without boundaries, limits, transactional benefits that scares us. The ego is defensive, protective, and therefore at the least suspicious and distrusting and at the most judgmental and attacking.

In Alcoholic Anonymous it is suggested in the first three steps that we give up our willfulness and accept the will of God. Not easy. Very scary. Most people can’t do it unless things get so bad they believe they have no other choice and nothing else to lose.

In Unitarian Universalism, it is suggested that we affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person, in other words, love every one. Most of us balk at this suggestion and defensively say, “It can’t be done! It’s not possible.”

Today, it is suggested that we remind ourselves frequently that we will not be afraid of love. Good luck! May it work out well for you.

A Course In Miracles Workbook Lesson #281 - I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts.

 Lesson #281

I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts.

We don’t have to believe everything we think. And we don’t have to act on everything we believe. But it is our thoughts that start the process of conscious behavior for which we are ultimately responsible.

And what stimulates our thinking? Often it is a stimulus from the world of the ego. We may never have been aware before that there is another world and that is the world of the Spirit. Once we are aware of our options to choose what we would have stimulate our thoughts we can choose and today’s lesson reminds us that whether we experience peace and joy or fear and distress is up to the thought system we choose.

In Alcoholic Anonymous, it is suggested in step four that we do a fearless moral inventory which can include our thought system. Does our thought system promote health and wellness or sickness and suffering? We are reminded in step four that our negative thought system has caused great problems in our lives and those we relate to.

In Unitarian Universalism we join together to affirm and promote the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. Where are we to search for truth and meaning? Is it in the world of the ego or the world of the Spirit? It’s up to us where we choose to look.

Today, it is suggested that we remind ourselves several times throughout the day that we have a choice: fear or love. We remind ourselves that we can be hurt by nothing but our thoughts.