Thursday, August 31, 2017

What's love got to do with it? and the first principle of Unitarian Universalism

Jason, you mentioned to me in our last conversation that it seems strange to you that we hate the most the ones we love the most, and we hurt the most the ones we love the most. It is, indeed, strange, and in the superficial world of the ego it seems contradictory when in fact it makes good sense if we think that the opposite of love is hate, and the opposite of hate is love for how could we understand the one without the other?

The deeper truth, Jason, is that the opposite of love is not hate, but fear. We hate what we are afraid of. If you find yourself angry or you observe anger in someone else ask yourself or them "what are you afraid of?" You will get better information with which to manage your or their angry emotions.

"Special relationships" which we call "love" are illusions which are used to offset the unconscious hate we feel for ourselves and for others. We reassure ourselves that our hate cannot be that harmful if we can offset it with the asylum of a special relationship which we call love. We live in a world where these attempts are notoriously unsuccessful with the divorce rate of first marriages in the U.S. about 50% and for second marriages 65%, and relationships between parents and children become increasingly problematic as the children and parents age often leading to cut offs and estrangements.

The problem of this love/hate illusion is that we overlook the first principle which is to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person which is based on intrinsic value founded on the divine spark that animates our existence.

Jason, rise above the love/hate illusion and dwell in reflection on the interdependent web of all existence which transcends the mundane. When I say I love you, I mean this as a brother who shares in the divine creation with us all together. Loving in this way means that I love you as I love myself and vice versa. The Atonement, At-One-Ment is when everybody loves everybody all the time. In a spin on Tina Turner's great song we might ask, "What's hate got to do with it?" For Tina's song click here. Hate has nothing more to do with it than what we call love. It is fear, Jason, which is based on an existential awareness that we have separated ourselves from the Godhead.


Uncle David


  1. We are afraid to admit hour hatreds, our grievances, our resentments, but they are there, repressed, smoldering deep in our psyche unconscious, subconscious, and sometimes when they emerge and are manifested we are surprised, ashamed, and then scared of what we might be capable. Everyone, including ourselves, has a shadow side and most people are not aware or only dimly aware of their shadow. We can't spiritual progress unless we become acquainted with our shadow and come to terms with it.

    1. Unconscious of our shadow and dark side we project our fears and loathing onto other people and see the things in others which are afraid to admit to ourselves.