Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Casey Parker is looking for a church to ease his existential crisis.

Casey Parker, 28, is struggling with the meaning of life. His girlfriend, Kali, whom he has been dating for 6 months and living with for 3, broke up with and asked him to have his stuff out of her apartment by Friday.

Casey works at Walmark monitoring the self check-out lanes and constantly undoing the errors caused by the machines and the customers. There are 8 check out machines and when they are all being used, he is busy running back and forth dealing with frustrated customers who are mad at the machines and whole check out fiasco.

"I replace 7 cashiers," said Casey, 'and I've got to say it is a hell of a deal for Walmart to get their customers to do their work for them by making them do their own cashiering and bagging."

"Dealing with the constant clusterfucks puts me in a bad mood and I'm sorry to say, I took alot of my anger and resentment out on Kali," said Casey. "It wasn't her fault that I was acting like such a prick, but she didn't have to be such a bitch about it."

"I'm 28," Casey explained, "with an Associates' degree in retailing, and this is what my life has come to. I might as well go back to drinking and getting high."

"When I left work yesterday, I bought a 30 pack of beer to take home, and the freaking cashier ID'd me and asked me for my license. Then she called the manager for approval which seems to be his primary job these days approving alcohol sales."

"Maybe I need to go back to church. My buddy Chris from AA said drinking isn't going to solve my problems and suggested I find a nice church for support because I'm going through what he called 'an existential crisis.' I don't even know what that is, but it sounds serious. Do you know any good churches?"

1 comment:

  1. Harold or you can call me HarryOctober 30, 2019 at 8:53 AM

    I'm not sure that laying his burdens at the foot of the cross and accepting Jesus as his Lord and Savior is going to do it for Casey. However, I don't know what a UU church could do for him either. Perhaps a Buddhist church where he could learn to meditate and calm down would help.

    I've been there and I found playing music really helps. I got into a band with a few other folks and we play once a week and are starting to get some jobs playing at parties and such. Music soothes the soul and has brought me some connections with other people which I really love.


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