The Spiritual Life, Topic Twenty eight
I’m gonna make you love me - NOT!
Immature people falling in love destroy each other’s freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages. And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.
Remember, freedom is a higher value than love. That’s why in India, the ultimate we call moksha; moksha means “freedom.” Freedom is a higher value than love. So if love is destroying freedom, it is not of worth. Love can be dropped, freedom has to be saved—freedom is a higher value. And without freedom you can never be happy, it is not possible. Freedom is the intrinsic desire of each man, each woman—utter freedom, absolute freedom. So anything that becomes destructive to freedom, one starts hating
Osho. Maturity: The Responsibility of Being Oneself (Osho Insights for a New Way of Living) . St. Martin's Press.p.60 - 61
How can love be a bondage, a domination, a possession? It can’t of course. But fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, leads one to imprison, to manipulate, to cling, to threaten. This conditional love is described in A Course In Miracles as “special relationships.”
Special relationships are the creation of the ego which teaches people that they are the source of ultimate happiness. Our culture is saturated with love songs, movies based on romance, and the promise that we are to “fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after.” We have made idealized romantic relations our greatest idealization and our the source of our greatest demonic forces.
Osho teaches that freedom is more important than conditional romantic love. Osho could have authored the poster of the dove flying from the gilded bird cage with the slogan, “If you love it, let it go. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it never was.”
Instead of conditional love, shift to unconditional love. You love just because you feel like it no strings attached. Unconditional love likes giving people freedom. Giving freedom is nurturing, empowering, facilitative of their agency.
In what do you put your faith: conditional love or unconditional love?