Monday, October 5, 2020

Spiritual Book Discussion - The Spiritual Child - Chapter Five: The Field Of Love


Dr. Lisa Miller writes “Parents often ask me, ‘So, how do you make your child spiritual?’” p.135 No parent makes their child spiritual. A good parent nurtures the child’s innate spirituality. Dr. Miller writes that parents do that by cultivating what she calls the “field of love” which is the relational space which we often think of as family and includes other people as well. This field of love has a transcendent quality and in some religious traditions has been called “ancestor worship” and the “faith of our fathers and mothers.”

Miller gives five suggestions about how to create and nurture this sacred relational space.

  1. Create family traditions and rituals.

  2. Highlight the importance of quality time rather than material things.

  3. Model acceptance of diversity.

  4. Teach forgiveness and unconditional love rather than judgment.

  5. Mark entrances and exits from the field of love as important times for the system.

Miller ends the chapter with these sentences:

I opened this chapter with the question I am asked so often by parents, “So, how do you make your child spiritual?” The answer emerging from all corners of science and spiritual study is, we don’t “make” our child spiritual at all. We cultivate their spirituality when we recognize the field of love as ground and guide for spiritual parenting. We set our intention to make our home environment and communities, our actions and expectations, and our ways of interacting with one another to be consistent with spiritual values. Family and the expansive field of love are our most important tools for building a spiritual life, for giving our children a spiritual grounding.

Miller, Dr. Lisa. The Spiritual Child (p. 159). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 


  1. As a child growing up who were the family members you felt most loved by?

  2. As a parent who do you think your children have felt most loved by?

  3. How are entrances and exits from your child’s field of love acknowledged?

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