How can we pray best?

Dear George:

You asked me whether UUs pray. They do, and they have lovely prayers which they say in unison as part of their church services.




The deeper considerations to your question are probably to whom and for what do UUs pray. The answer to the first question is, it varies depending on the person doing the praying. What/who does he/she consider his/her higher power to be and from what/whom does he/she draw his/her inspiration and solace? The best prayers are prayers of forgiveness, gratitude, and the request for direction. My prayers are pretty simple: Dear God help me to follow your will not my will - Thy will be done, and Thank you for the three good things that I have been blessed with today."

You might consider the suggestion of Dr. Ira Byrock who says that  when we encounter people who are dying (and we all are dying all the time whether we are aware of this or not) it helps to say four things: Thank you. I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me. I love you.

We should strive, George, to be constant contact with our Higher Power or at least several times per day. Some people have a prayer schedule and set aside 5 minutes very 4 hours like the Christian monks and the Muslims do. Us modern humans spend more time with our smart phones and other screens than we do giving our attention to the divine within us and we are the poorer for it.

Also, I suggest that you be careful praying to the universe as if it it were a vending machine like a Fairy Godmother, or Gene from a  bottle who can dispense gifts.

The main purpose of prayer is to join with the cosmic consciousness, to become one with the Godhead, to heal the separation of ourselves from the Godhead and to go home. This can be achieved through meditation or what today is sometimes called mindfulness. This flow state, becoming one with the all can also be achieved through music, dance, athletics, communing with nature, great sex, etc.

So, George, prayer comes in many forms with the purpose of  healing the separation of our ego from the all. One of the most lovely things in life is a prayer life based on the intention of bringing our will into alignment with God's will for us. The best prayer of all is the Our Father which Jesus suggested to us which combines all the best elements of a nourishing prayer life, gratitude, forgiveness, and setting aside of our egos so we can listen to the wishes of the universe for us.

Pray on,

Uncle David.

 

Would UUs consider Mr. Rogers one of the prophetic women and men in their six sources?

All that you have is your soul

"Dostoyevsky was right: lie to everyone but yourself. 'The man who lies to himself...cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and others." E.J. Levy, "Of Liars," in After Montaigne: Contemporary Essayists Cover The Essays.

One of the six sources of Unitarian Universalism is the "Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love."

"Can you give me some examples of these prophetic men and women," Don asked. "How about Dostoyevsky and Montaigne,: I replied.

"Who," said Don?

"Dostoyevsky and Montaigne," I said again insistently.

"Never heard of them," said Don, "and they sound like foreigners."

"They were," said I, "a Russian and a Frenchman."

"True Americans are supposed to hate both, aren't we," asked Don seriously.
"The Russians, I was told as a kid, might drop an atomic bomb on us at any minute, and we changed the name of French Fries, to Freedom Fries back when France wouldn't support our war with Iraq."

"Yeah, we've been told to fear and hate all kinds of people. The names change but the tool is the same. Now we're suppose to fear Mexicans and Muslims, and whoever else fits Trump's purposes, because these boogeymen appeal to his base. Got him enough votes to win the Presidency."

"I like Trump. I voted for him," said Don. "He's the only politician who says what he means and means what he says. You don't get any double talk from him."

"He lies," I said, "to protect himself and rile people up. His lies are losing him respect here at home and around the world, and I believe that he is even losing respect for himself."

"Are you kidding," said Don, "Trump loves himself more than anything. That's all he talks about is how great he is and how the media and the congress pick on him. He seems to have more self love than anybody I know."

"He doesn't appear to practice our UU second principle, justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. He does the opposite promoting America first, and bragging about getting the best deal, and stigmatizing people he tells citizens want to harm them so he can protect them."

"Well," said Don, "this conversation is unproductive as far as I am concerned and I've got to go."

"Be well," I said, "and remember don't lie to yourself, because all that you've got is your soul."

"Fuck you," said Don laughing as he walked off.

UUs bring heaven to people with their seven principles

Linda said she believed in deprivation. She complained of feeling anxious much of the time. She told me her doctor told her she was suffering from "generalized anxiety disorder" and prescribed Klonapin for her which used to make her feel better and then didn't so she increased the dose and now it doesn't seem to work at all.

When we talked more she told me she grew up worrying about money, and her parents, and was fearful that there would never be enough and it was only a matter of time before some bad thing happened. As we talked she said she could see how the fear of deprivation had contributed to her thinking that sacrifice was love and it made her feel better to do things for other people to the point that people laughed at her and told her that she should remember that "nice gals finish last." Linda said with tears that she usually felt as if she was last or would become last in any given situation.

The doctor diagnosed Linda's problem as a medical problem, and a psychotherapist might diagnose her problem as psychiatric, and I wondered with Linda if it was spiritual.

Linda asked what do you mean, spiritual?

I said, "Thinking that you are a body and meeting its needs has made you fearful of so many things and situations in life that it is robbing you of your peace and contentment. You are not your body but a divine spark that is loved by the universe. It says in  A Course In Miracles, 'As long as you perceive the body as your reality, so long will you perceive yourself as lonely and deprived.' It says a bit further 'Deprivation breeds attack, being the belief that attack is justified. And as long as you would retain the deprivation, attack becomes salvation and sacrifice becomes love.'"

"Does that mean," asked Linda, "that to be happy and at peace I have to give up my preoccupation with my body and focus my energies on fulfilling myself in other ways?"

"Yes," I said, "and our UU faith can help you do that if you pursue the mission of living and extending the seven principles. These principles are rich and deep and their implementation and operation in our lives brings great peace and happiness. Pick one and work on it for a week or as long as you want and then move on to one of the other principles.My favorites are the first, the third, the fourth and the seventh."

Linda laughed and said, "That's about all of them."

I laughed too and said, "Yeah, it's hard for me to choose. Start with the first and see where that takes you."

How do UUs respond to the racism at Charlottesville with moral authority?

Rev. Marlin Lavanhar at All Soul's Church in Tulsa Oklahoma gave a wonderful sermon on Sunday, 08/20/17 entitled "Charlottesville: It's not so black and white." It is well worth listening to and sharing.




There are many take aways from Rev. Lavanhar's message the most important of which is the importance of nonviolent resistance not something to be done lightly without the knowing possibility of injury and death.

Rev. Lavanhar supports resistance and protest, but also encourages people to be smart about it and prepared.

He also supports the rights of the Nazis and White Supremacists to free speech. As usual the moral calculus isn't always simple but requires thoughtful reflection and then strategic action.

I wished that Rev. Lavanhar might have spent a little time and effort in explicating the moral philosophy of the action he is recommending such as the inherent belief in the inherent worth and dignity of all people. If we truly believe this how does that value inform appropriate action?

Lack of security contributes to UU unhappiness

Dear UU A Way Of Life:

I don't find UUs an especially happy group. If anything I find them the opposite. They seem ready to argue over every little thing and they aren't good at resolving conflict which often degenerates into passive aggressive game playing and leads to schisms. It seems to me that the reason that UU congregations are so small is that people become unhappy and then walk away. I don't know what the answer to this is for individual churches and for the denomination. I am curious what you might think given your current theme promoting the ideas that UUs are above average in intelligence and happiness.

Sincerely,

Tom Kowolski

Dear Tom:

Your observations are accurate and the data supports your concerns. The problem, as is usually the case, is multidimensional. In other words, there is not a single answer, no silver bullet, no magic key. However, having said that, I think, we might say that the problem lies in the lack of security in UU congregations, and the lack of security comes from no clear agreed upon rules, and the lack of nerve when it comes to enforcing the rules.

In any sport, there are rules and a referee who calls infractions. The players agree in advance to abide by the referees decisions and if players or coaches disruptively object they can be ejected from the game. Without a referee and rules, professional sports could not exist.

 Unitarian Universalism suffers from a lack of accountability. Nobody seems to be in charge and so the fight is on for power, control, and dominance. UUs have been encouraged to believe that if they think it, feel it, want it, then their thoughts feelings and desires are as good as anyone else's and they should not have to defer and if they have to in the moment, they carry on resentfully, and aggrieved until they leave or a schism occurs.

The UUA has been derelict it its duty to not develop and implement accrediting standards and hold its member congregations accountable for quality operations. Unfortunately, this has not happened and the denomination and most of its churches continue to suffer like the Israelites wandering in the desert. Security comes from knowing where one stands and who's in charge. In UU, there is very little accountability and guidance and so people flounder, are confused if not perplexed, and then become aggrieved. These UUs are not very happy people, and unfortunately, the denomination is not a very functional organization contributing to its small size and dwindling membership.

David G. Markham
UU A Way Of Life