Encouragement to spiritual growth runs down hill

Unitarian Universalists are not known for their spirituality especially their mystical spirituality. The closest they can come to mysticism is probably their identification with the transcendentalists like Emerson and Thoreau. So when we consider the third principle and ask ourselves what it means to encourage spiritual growth in our congregations, usually other than airy fairy, psychobabble, communing with Mother Nature kind of stuff, UUs are lost.

UUs have a history of embracing science and intellectual pursuits and have been skeptical of an exploration of what’s within feeling more comfortable with exploring externalities, the phenomenon outside ourselves in the world. And yet as it says in the Perennial Philosophy:

“For, as all exponents of the Perennial philosophy have constantly insisted, man’s obsessive consciousness of, and insistence on being, a separate self is the final and most formidable obstacle to the unitive knowledge of God. To be a self is, for them, the original sin, and to die to self, in feeling, will and intellect, is the final and all-inclusive virtue.” P. 36 If this is the goal of spirituality, if we are to agree with what has been taught for ages by the world’s religions, how are UUs taught to shift their perception from “me” to the all?

Jesus tells us to pray, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

The first step of 12 step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous is to recognize that our lives have become unmanageable, and step two involves coming to understand that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. It might be argued that 12 step programs are more spiritual than are our contemporary mainstream religions in the sense that they require a recognition and acknowledgement that the path to serenity and recovery is not in continuing to advocate for and tenaciously protect a unique sense of self, but rather to rise above the ego, to transcend the limiting sense of our mortal body and personality by joining with what Emerson called the “Over-Soul”. One of the slogans of the systems view is that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, and so, one might ask, what is this system that we human separate selves are a part of?

One of the definitions of enlightenment that resonates with me is the idea that our consciousness is raised to the point where nothing it life is excluded from it. In the 60s we referred to this state as “cosmic consciousness.”

If we, as Unitarian Universalists, are to encourage each other in our spiritual growth, how do we help one another develop a cosmic consciousness?

As a former Catholic I was taught to pray on my knees, to fast, to do other bodily mortifications that would make me more aware of the greater good like giving something up for lent, etc. Muslims fast during day light hours during Ramadan, Buddhists sit in a purposeful pose on a meditation cushion when they meditate, etc. These physical disciplines have the purpose of increasing awareness by eschewing the physical bodily comforts in favor a spiritual altered state of consciousness.

Now days people pursue these altered states of consciousness through drugs, exercise, work, sex, and adrenaline inducing “extreme sports” whether participating or just watching.

What does Unitarian Universalism have to offer in helping people move from a self centered pre-occupation with pleasure to a mystical state of bliss with the transcendent? Various UUs draw from the six sources, and UUs practice many different techniques and rituals as taught by various traditions, but when one considers what Unitarian Universalism has to offer uniquely its own even if integrating practices from other traditions, it seems that one is left empty handed and in a limbo.

One woman told me one time that she was drawn to the UU principles and fellowship but missed the Catholic rituals, liturgy, prayers, and other practices and finally resolved the two attractions by alternating her attendance at both a UU church and a RC church.

I think that many UUs, finding the tradition lacking, do a similar thing maintaining a participation in a UU church but also participating actively in other faith tradition practices. Perhaps this is good thing and should be encouraged, but it seems also fragmenting and distracting. This has been difficult for some congregations who struggle for an identity when there are factions within congregations of people who prefer one type of religious expression more than another such as Christian and Buddhist, or Jewish and Humanist, etc. Perhaps part of the appeal of Unitarian Universalism is that “the movement,” as some people call it, has no unique identity of its own, but is a hodge podge of interreligious gobbledygook as pastors and worship committees try to keep everybody happy.

The point of describing this state of affairs is to come back to the question of how is a UU congregation to encourage spiritual growth in its congregation when there isn’t even any agreement on what “spiritual growth” looks like, consists of, and needs for nurturance.

Unitarian Universalism is a very small denomination with very few churches and if one preferred a UU church with more of a Christian orientation, or a Buddhist orientation, or a humanist orientation, or a earth centered orientation, it is very unlikely that a person could access such a church within several hundred miles unless one lived in a major metropolitan area that had three or four or more UU churches.

As one considers this state of affairs, it becomes apparent that Unitarian Universalism in one congregation can be different in emphasis, focus, and culture than another. While there are some elements of Unitarian Universalism that are common threads in these different cultures, are these common elements enough to hold the congregations together in a meaningful tradition? The numbers of participants seem to say no. The membership of UU has been stagnant, if not diminished slightly, over the last few years, and given the consistent rise of the population, the percentage of the United States population who identify as UUs has grown smaller. Is it fair to say that whatever UU congregations are doing to encourage spiritual growth in their congregations isn’t working at least looking at the numbers of customers buying the product and services being offered for sale? Of course, it could also be argued that it’s the quality of the spiritual lives and growth and not the quantity that matters.

At any rate, let’s start with the basics. What condition is your condition in? What is your interior spiritual life like and do you feel and think it is nurtured and encouraged in your congregation, and if so, how? If a survey were actually done, I would hypothesize that what people will report as most helpful to their spiritual growth is the fellowship, but I could be wrong. However, I hypothesize myself that the key ingredient in a congregational culture facilitating spiritual growth is the holiness of the pastor. Those who play the key pastoral roles in a congregation are the spark plug that ignites the engine of congregational life and sets the tone, focus, and culture within which people thrive, stagnate, or destruct. The pastor needs a lot of support and certainly can’t do it alone just like a quarterback needs a good team to run the plays or an orchestra conductor needs talented and skilled musicians in the orchestra. But encouragement to spiritual growth starts at the top and cascades down through a congregation for better or worse, health and sickness, good times and bad, until the relationship between the shepherd and the flock is disrupted or terminated.

Are holy men and women being ordained into UU ministry? How are these pastors inspired, encouraged, and nurtured? Therein, perhaps, is the key to rejuvenating a stagnating denomination.

Story of the day - Is your compassion medically necessary?

John was aware of the power of groups. He had been a counselor for years and had facilitated many groups which were intended to be therapeutic. In the substance abuse field this activity is called "treatment."

The payors, the insurance companies, have required that a medical model be imposed on psychotherapeutic activities like individual counseling, group meetings, family therapy and would only pay for services if these activities met the definition of "medically necessary." The health insurance companies refuse to pay for services which are simply educational, vocational rehabilitation, or case management. The medical records of these activities are constantly scrutinized to determine if acceptable symptoms had been noted, appropriate psychiatric diagnoses assigned, legitimate treatment goals articulated, and progress towards those goals described.

It seemed an arbitrary definition to John whether his compassion, his empathic conversations, his purposeful interaction with clients and their families and referral agents are "medically necessary."

When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead to ease the grief of his mourning sisters would it have been reimbursed in this day and age by the health insurance companies or when Jesus made a paste from dust and his saliva, and cured the blind man's blindness when he put the muddy paste over this eyes?

As this thought crossed his mind, John started laughing to himself, guffawing really, and his eyes welled up with tears, and his colleague, Shannon, having heard the explosion of frivolity got up and came to his office, looked in, and seeing him alone, asked, "Are you okay?"

John, at first couldn't answer because he was laughing/crying so hard, he couldn't articulate the words properly to speak. Finally, he stood up, took a tissue and wiped his face and blew his nose, and said to her, "I need a day off. I am really not feeling well. I've got to get out of here. Please cancel my appointments or find someone else to cover them. I'll see you tomorrow." and John walked out of the office, down the corridor, out the back door into the parking lot, got in his car, took a big sigh of relief, and drove down to the lake to watch the seagulls and the waves roll up to the beach line.

The blind leading the blind or a transcendent miracle?

In Chapter 9 of her book, The Green Boat: Reviving Ourselves in Our Capsized Culture, Mary Pipher writes about the growth of the Nebraskan coalition to fight the TransCanada XL pipeline crossing their state. Pipher describes the Festival activities sponsored across the State of Nebraska for the purpose of convincing the Governor and State legislature to block and not approve the legislation necessary for the building of the pipeline. Pipher writes:

“That night, we had crested a wave. But Monday morning we were exactly in the same situation with our politicians that we had been in before the festival. This bittersweet phenomenon of a successful event paired with no discernible political gain seemed to be a chronic problem for our group.

However, we were experiencing a victory that could not be taken away from us. That is, we were by now a transcendent, connected community. We were learning that relationships always trump agendas, and that a good process is sustaining, regardless of outcome. I cannot emphasize how important relationships were to us at this point.

In fact, what I came to realize from my work with the coalition is that in individuals, families, communities, cultures, and even on earth itself, nothing good and beautiful lasts unless it is grounded in loving, interconnected relationships.” P.175-176

In reading this passage I am reminded of several of the Unitarian Universalist principles like number 7, “respect for the interdependent web of existence of which we are a part,” and number one, “the inherent worth and dignity of every person,” and number 5, “the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society and large,” and number three, “the acceptance of one another and the encouragement to spiritual growth,” and number two, “justice, equity, and compassion in human relations.”

Piper’s story in The Green Boat is a story about bringing UU principles into application and the frustration, discouragement, and difficulties this entails as well as the satisfaction, fulfillment, and transcendent quality of working with others towards a positive social goal beyond our individual selves but which benefits all living things and the planet. Pipher describes herself, like many of us, depressed, despondent, even despairing before this coalition building effort but as they say “misery likes company” and joining with others they have transcended their own individual darkness. Jesus says that where two or more are gathered in my name there I will be. I don’t think that you necessarily need to believe that Jesus is God to observe this phenomenon. It can be seen in any city and some small towns in America and around the world where there are 12 step meetings held like Alcoholics Anonymous. It appears very counter-intuitive to put a couple of drunks in a room together and they help each other become sober. What happened to the cynical statement about “the blind leading the blind?” It happens that when the blind lead the blind they sometimes develop the ability to see.

This counter-intuitive, nonsensical faith in the transcendent power of recognition and acknowledgement and support for our interdependence leads to miraculous awareness of what A Course In Miracles calls the At-one-ment, the Atonement which is the end point of human evolution when human beings become one with everything or as I define it, when everybody loves everybody all the time.

The coalition which Pipher describes in Nebraska in 2010-2011 has this quality of a step towards the Atonement. This is a religious experience, a spiritual experience, which Unitarian Universalism recognizes, acknowledges, and actively promotes. While Pipher describes herself as the world’s worst Buddhist, the UUA might consider asking her if she would like to accept an honorary designation as a Unitarian Universalist luminary since she and her coalition light the way which the rest of us might do well to emulate.

Story of the day - UU yahoos and tree hugging

Joe was talking with a bunch of folks at the local coffee shop sitting outside at the sidewalk tables when the topic turned to religion.

Barry asked, “So Joe where are you going to church now days? I’ve heard you move around a lot.”

Joe said, “I’ve been going to the Unitarian Universalist church,” quietly waiting for Barry’s snide remarks which he usually made to get a laugh from whatever audience was present.

“Ah,” said Barry, “the UU yahoos,” laughing which made everyone snicker.

Joe laughed too. “That’s a good one. I hadn’t heard that before. It even rhymes. UU yahoo. That’s good.”

“Yeah,” said Ken. “They’re the guys who don’t believe in anything, right?”

“We have our seven principles,” said Joe. “It’s not a creed. They’re more like values we agree to.”

“Like what?” said Cindy.

“Well, like we accept one another and try to help each other out, “ said Joe.

“Like Kiwanis,” said Barry making a statement and not a question.

“UU is just a civic club?” asked Cindy like she was incredulous.

“No,” said Joe starting to get mad. “It’s a religion. They believe in some stuff. It’s spiritual not just a civic club.”

“That’s bullshit,” said Barry. “Do they believe in Jesus? No! Do they accept Him as Lord and Savior? No again! Don’t give me ‘it’s a religion crap.’ They let atheists in, Jews, humanists. If people who don’t believe in God are part of your religion how can you call it a religion? Huh? Answer that smart ass, and I know it’s true because my cousin left our church and became a UU yahoo and he told everybody he lost his belief that Jesus was God and was an agnostic. So what the hell do you call that?”

Joe had had enough. He was tired of Barry and his entourage making fun of him and his new found religion. Further, to be honest, Joe didn’t really know the answer to Barry’s question anyway. Was UU really a religion? He thought so, but he couldn’t really explain it to himself, let alone to anyone else.

Joe said, “To each his own, ya know? I don’t have to explain myself to you or to anyone else. Maybe I’ll wind up rotting in hell or, I guess, it will be burning in hell according to people like you. I’ve got to go, though. There’s a meeting this afternoon over at the church and us ‘UU yahoos’ as you call  us are trying to figure out what we can do to help the environment, you know, about climate change and fracking and stuff. Maybe we just care about Mother Nature, you know. Maybe she is one of the gods that we UU yahoos care about. Whatever we decide to do we will all be better off because of it even you, Barry, and Ken and Cindy, all of us. See ya!

And Joe got up, turned, and walked away rather quickly before there could be any further rejoinders, but he heard Barry say, “Go hug a tree, Joe!” and the rest of them laughing.

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves

Jesus has told us that the way to the kingdom is to “love as I have loved.” Somebody asked Mother Teresa about this imperative of Jesus’s one time saying, “Who am I to love?” Mother Teresa is reported to have said, “Whomever life puts in your path.” Pretty simple, right? Whomever life puts in your path you are to love. So I don’t get why the third principle says that we should accept and encourage to spiritual growth people in our congregations. Why not everyone in the whole wide world?

There are a couple of reasons why Unitarian Universalism is such a small religious denomination. First, people use their congregation like a social club and really don’t internalize their faith by incorporating it into practices leading to a richer interior spiritual life, and secondly, they don’t proselytize. It’s a shame really. Why would they limit themselves in their ethic of inclusivity and encouragement to spiritual growth only in their congregations and not to the world? Of course, we don’t need to wait for the leaders of the UUA or our congregation to spread the good word about the seven UU principles. We can do it ourselves person to person.

In Matthew 10 Jesus sends His apostles off two by two with nothing but their tunic and sandals and a walking stick. He tells them the people they encounter will support them and if they don’t move on. Here is what Jesus tells them in verses 5 – 20

These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: “Do not go among the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. ⁶ Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel.7 As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ ⁸ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy,^[a] drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give.

⁹ “Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts— ¹⁰ no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff, for the worker is worth his keep.11 Whatever town or village you enter, search there for some worthy person and stay at their house until you leave. ¹² As you enter the home, give it your greeting. ¹³ If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you.14 If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. ¹⁵ Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.

¹⁶ “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. ¹⁷ Be on your guard; you will be handed over to the local councils and be flogged in the synagogues. ¹⁸ On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. ¹⁹ But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, ²⁰ for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

How would that work if Unitarian Universalists who were to go out and preach the seven principles to the lost sheep of America? What if UUs were to take seriously the teaching of the seven principles? What would that effort look like? Because the seven principles are so counter cultural, if they are seriously applied to daily life, UUs would probably be arrested or at least mocked, ridiculed, shunned, avoided, called unpatriotic, and perhaps killed.

An attack on Unitarian Universalists occurred in July of 2008 at the Knoxville Unitarian Universalist Church in Tennessee when a gunman went to the church and killed two members and injured seven with a sawed-off shotgun before he was restrained by church members. The gunman said he wanted to kill liberals, African-Americans, homosexuals, and democrats, and he apparently thought the local Unitarian Universalist church was a good place to start. Many UUs were spooked after that, naturally, and became warier for a while when strangers visited their churches.

Jesus said that He was sending his apostles out like sheep among wolves. He said they should be shrewd as snakes and yet innocent as doves. For people who want to pursue or are pursuing a spiritual life, it is a high road not a low road. Jesus says many are called but few are chosen.

Many jokes are made about Unitarian Universalsim and Unitarian Universalists but taken seriously, living a Unitarian Universalist life is serious business. It is not for the faint of heart but for people with great faith, conviction, and love. Not just to attend a Unitarian Universalist church, but to live a Unitarian Universalist life takes dedication, commitment, and what the third principle calls “encouragement to spiritual growth.” As the UU preachers say when they end their sermons, “May it be so.”

Can UU principles (values) enhance American culture and help us become a better people?

In chapters 7 and 8 in The Green Boat author Mary Pipher discusses the power of working with others towards a goal to overcome one’s own individual demoralization and to raise consciousness and functioning to achieve a higher quality of life for everyone on the planet and enhance the well being of Mother Nature. Pipher writes, “Healthy people build healthy communities, which create healthy cultures.” p. 140. This statement at first reading struck me as trite, and somewhat of a cliché, but then I wondered if our culture is healthy? As much as I would like to be positive and optimistic, I think American culture is not especially healthy if the norms and the mores of our American culture are compared to our Unitarian Universalist principles. The more I have tried to apply the principles in my daily life, the more it strikes me how counter cultural UU principles (sometimes I think of them as values) are.

Pipher writes “Margaret Mead wrote, ‘The ideal culture is one that finds a place for every human gift.’ I would paraphrase her and say the ideal group finds a place for every member’s gifts.” p. 156

Unitarian Universalists practice inclusivity and abhor exclusivity. The Universalist in us believes that everyone has inherent worth and dignity and will be saved. By “saved” I mean become, eventually, one with the all, a part of the At-one-ment. The path to the At-one-ment is forgiveness. Piper writes, “Out best stories were about our own inconsistencies and failings or about our emotional struggles…” p.162. Forgiveness begins with ourselves first and then we can extend it to others.

The question to be considered here is how to build a better culture? A culture is made up of values, beliefs, practices, history, traditions, preferences, and vision for a future. American culture is in rapid change and flux brought about by the digital age, the changing economy, the growing planetary population, and climate change. As human beings we have seen significant changes in the 20^th century, and they will be even greater in the 21^st century. The greatest need for change is not necessarily for new scientific knowledge and technology, but for an ethical imperative guiding us in the use of that scientific knowledge and technology for the benefit of all living things and the planet, not just for the privileged few. Pipher uses a quote from Star Trek: “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” At an age of ever increasing income and wealth inequality we see this negative dynamic expanding until it will collapse probably in some kind of revolution which just began to stir with the Occupy movement after the 2008 financial crisis.

Whether American culture will collapse or slowly evolve remains to be seen. I not only have faith but certainty that Unitarian Universalist principles will provide the basis for the ethical imperative not only for UUs but for our society in the coming decades. Much work needs to be done to mine the principles for their meaning, application, and benefit as human beings and life on earth continue to evolve. You, dear reader, are an important part of that evolution. Please help spread the good words and join the effort to encourage the spiritual growth of yourself, your family, congregation, community, nation, and the world. Where to start? Forgive and love the persons who cross our path today.

Story of the day - I’d rather be used than be alone.

She was 17, a junior in high school, a mousy looking girl, kind of nerdy. She was a high honor student, and a student manager of the girls basketball team. She told me she admired the jock, prep girls and wanted to be like them but she wasn’t that well coordinated to be an athlete.

Her grades had been dropping through the spring and she became depressed. Her pediatrician put her on Prozac and said she needed counseling so she came to see me.

She said she’d been a virgin and not very popular and finally a boy took an interest in her but on the second date he told her he was breaking up with her unless she “put out”. She told me she didn’t even know at first what this meant until he was clear that he wanted sex. She said she was confused, upset, and didn’t want this first romantic relationship to end so she agreed. She lost her virginity to him on their second date, and then he promptly bragged to his friends that he had “scored” with her, and broke-up with her any way.

All his friends wanted to go out with her and after having sex with four or five guys she said she got a reputation as the junior class slut. She was devastated, became depressed, and now felt more isolated than ever.

“What do you make of all this?” I asked her.

She paused for some time and then said, “I guess I would rather be used than be alone.”

I was stunned, and for a minute at a loss for words. The silence was palpable but also soothing. I felt like I was sitting in the presence of a Buddha.

I finally said to her, “I’m amazed at your insight. You’d rather be used than be alone. I have a lot of thirty, forty, fifty year old clients that haven’t figured this out yet and you’re only 17! You are what they call an “old soul.”

She got through the school year, pulled her grades up, and while still withdrawn, the depression slowly seemed to lift and the school year ended. We didn’t meet over the summer and I assumed she was okay. Then in September she called and asked to see me again. She said she was feeling much better and told me she had asked her pediatrician if she could stop her anti-depressants and he asked her how her counseling was going. She said she told him that we hadn’t been meeting since school ended in June and the pediatrician told her to see me for a “check-up” and if I agreed that her depression had improved he would work with her to taper off the antidepressant. So she came to see me.

She looked much better, had gained a little weight, smiling, even bubbly, a changed person. I asked her, “What has happened since we last met?”

“I’m a senior this year, and things are going great. I’m managing the basketball team later this fall, and I’m working part time at McDonald’s and I’m planning on going to college next year. I’m feeling great and I want to stop the anti-depressants and my doctor told me I had to talk to you first,” she said.

“Things seem much better. Any symptoms of depression?” I asked.

“No, they've all cleared up and I feel, and am doing, better than ever,” she replied.

“Do you remember that thing we talked about last spring when you told me that you would rather be used than be alone?” I asked.

“Yeah, sure,” she said smiling.

“And what do you think now?” I asked.

“Oh, I’d rather be alone any day,” she said laughing.

“Indeed,” I said, “it is better to be alone than to be used. You go girl!”

And that was that. Obviously I have remembered her story to this day and feel graced and blessed by my encounters with a 17 year old teenage old soul.