What is the purpose of our relationships?

Unitarian Universalists covenant together to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person, and justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. UUs also claim that they are not as interested in getting people into heaven as heaven into people. The desire to help people find heaven within them, and among them, requires a skeptical attitude about special relationships and the encouragement of Unconditional Love.

If you have the same dignity and worth as every other human being, how can some be special while others are deemed not worthy?

Love which is conditional is not love. We could call it appreciation, responsibility, obligation, compassion, protection, possessiveness, desire, identification, but not Unconditional Love.

Unconditional Love is a whole other thing and abides in the cosmic consciousness of which we each are a part and from which we have separated ourselves out of fear of the loss of our little egos.

To protect our little egos we strike special bargains with others to give to get. This illusion becomes the basis for our justification for our behaviors. However, ultimately, give to get leaves us broken hearted, disappointed, angry, bitter, and even more fearful. The give to get dynamic of special relationships is no basis for a peaceful and fulfilling life. Special relationships cannot be the basis of our security and well being. And yet we enter into them unwittingly often and it is not until we find ourselves in anguish because of them that we question "what is the purpose of this relationship?"

Indeed, what is the purpose of our relationships?