Monday, May 31, 2010

Morning meditation - The innocence of old age

"The child's innocence is really poor because it is almost synonymous with ignorance. The old man, ripe with age, who has passed through all the experiences of darkness and light, of love and hate, of joy and misery, who has been matured through life in different situations, has come to a point where he is no longer a participant in any experience. Misery comes, he watches; and happiness comes and he watches. He has become a watcher on the hill. Everything passes down in the dark valleys, but he remains on the sunlit peak of the mountain, simply watching in utter silence.

The innocence of old age is rich. It is rich in experience; it is rich in failures and in successes; it is rich in right actions, in wrong actions; it is rich in all the failures, all the successes - it is rich multidimensionally. Its innocence cannot be synonymous with ignorance; its innocence can only be synonymous with wisdom.

Both are innocent, the child and the old man. But their innocences have a qualitative change, a qualitative difference. The child is innocent because he has not entered yet into the dark night of the soul. the old man is innocent - he has come out of the tunnel. One is going to suffer much; one has already suffered enough. One cannot avoid the hell that is ahead of him; the other has left the hell behind him.

You need not be worried about old age. It is your maturity; you have simply passed through every experience. you have grown so experienced that now you need not repeat those experiences again and again. That is transcendence."


I have witnessed alot in my life. I probably have more to witness and I will go on to witness things but the quality of my witnessing has changed. I feel more detached. I've been there and done that and the world is so corrupt that it is laughable to me now.

I used to get upset but not so much any more. I have detached myself with love. I feel compassion but not necessarily a compulsion to act. People need to learn for themselves. They will not listen to me anyway because they are full of ego, emotionally aroused, they need to find out for themselves.

I am not smug but rather what M. Scott Peck calls therapeutically depressed. I see how messed up things are, how clumsy and hurtful human beings can be, and there is little I can do about it. I rather reflect, contemplate, meditate and commune with my God. This communing gives me peace, comfort, joy. I can be quiet and appreciate the beauty. I can look beyond the drama to the goodness in people and life. I can passively wish for a better world where people live together with one another and nature in harmony, love, and joy.

I have endured enough pain, disappointment, suffering in my life. I don't need any more. If I had to choose between drama and peace, I choose peace. If I had to choose between fun and joy, I choose joy. If I had to choose between ignorance or awareness, I choose awareness.

As a person gets older, a person becomes aware of what really matters. It is in knowing what matters that we find wisdom. Most of what people gossip about, and get excited about doesn't matter. It is stupid.

As I grow up as well as grow old, I pray to God that I develop the wisdom to know what matters and in watching the drama of the world, I watch through the eyes of innocence.

1 comment:

  1. God, grant me the serenity
    To accept the things I cannot change;
    Courage to change the things I can;
    And wisdom to know the difference.