Monday, July 28, 2014

Story of the day, STD free since 1995

Back in the 70s there was this cheesy, romantic movie starring Ali McGraw and Ryan O'Neil, heart throbs of the day, entitled, "Love is never having to say you're sorry." which was extremely popular at the box office, and the slogan "Love is never having to say you're sorry" gave boomers permission to behave as they wanted without guilt, or even concern for how people they supposedly loved might feel.

Sally said, "That movie was rubbish and it ruined my life. I really believed that tripe. My boyfriends would complain to me about my free love attitude, and I'd tell them I loved them at least at the time of the consummation of our love which now I recognize as lust, and brush them off and go my merry way. Now it all seems so unfair, disrespectful, now, you know?"

Linda said, "Sal, don't worry. We were all that way. A product of the times what with birth control and everything. I saw what look liked a mother and daughter at a peace protest last week  and they were waving to the cars passing by. It said, 'STD free since 1995'. I started laughing so hard I almost pulled over because I didn't know if I could keep my car in its lane."

"Yeah, well, I don't know if I ever told you, but I had a couple of abortions too along with chlamydia and genital herpes which slowed me down a little bit, but often I wouldn't tell my partners and I felt guilty which I tried to erase with pot and LSD. When I got genital warts I knew I was done with my 'free ways,'" said Sally. "I started to feel unclean."

"We had some good times though, didn't we?" said Linda.

"At the time I thought so, but I now I wonder if I wasted part of my life, and I get down on myself."

"Time to find the Lord," said Linda laughing.

"I tried that. Didn't I tell you about the time I got saved? I thought it was right. It was about 7 years ago, and for awhile I felt like my sins had been washed away, atoned for by the blood of Jesus when He died on the cross. But that explanation isn't working for me any more. I think I have more responsibility and I'm still thinking about some of the guys I hurt. I try extra hard to be kind to people, you know, to make up for my uncaring, cavalier ways earlier in my life," said Sally.

"Look who's turning into a goody two shoes," said Linda.

"You're not helping, Linda," Sally said.

"Okay, listen, this is turning into a bit of a downer. I've got to go. When you get done feeling sorry for yourself, give me a call," and Linda got up to leave.

"I'll see you next time," said Sally.

"Yeah, I'll see you when I see you," said Linda over her shoulder as she walked out the door.

Sally started to tear up and she wondered what was wrong with her. Why was she losing her friends? Her therapist had told her he thought she was outgrowing them, and loneliness sometimes is the price you pay for growing up and moving on with your life.


  1. This post had me laughing until the end.

    The CDC reports that 30% of 15-19 year olds in the United States have or have had Chlamydia, and 39% of 20- 24 year olds. Only 4% of people over 40 have Chlamydia.

    I was shocked to learn that 1/3 of high school kids has or has had Chlamydia. The CDC recommends that sexually actives females under 25 get checked for Chlamydia every year.

    Gonorrhea is also on the rise again with the percentages about the same but 3-4 percentage points lower.

    Do you think that Unitarian Universalists being more likely to be "free thinkers" are also likely to be less monogamous and freer sexually as well?

  2. At least the woman in the picture didn't become infertile because of her STDs like so many women do. She had one kid at least. What do you suppose she is teaching her daughter?

    Why are women giving up bowling for screwing?
    The balls are lighter and you don't have to change your shoes.

  3. It's interesting how in our older age when we are more mature we regret the wild things we did in our youth. Part of growing old gracefully is finding ways to forgive ourselves.

  4. The hedonists would applaud Sally and Linda but us stoics know better. The good life is not created by licentious behavior and debauchery. As Dr. Laura used to say on her radio show, "Doing good and feeling good can be two different things." It seems that Sally is becoming aware of this while Linda is entrenched in her familiar ways. Maybe hedonism still works for Linda but it seems that Sally is looking for some deeper, more substantial, more meaningful. Sally might find comfort in Unitarian Universalism.