On the phone yesterday as you told me about your break-up with Judy, you cried and said you didn't know what to do. I said, "Yes, you do. What do you think?" And you told me, and it became apparent that you knew the answer all along. You were just too upset to recognize it.
We often know deep down what is in our best interests and others. Some people call this "intuitive wisdom" and this intuitive wisdom seems to be more readily available to some people than to others. In other words, some people have learned how to turn within and listen. Others look for external answers and fill their lives with screens, social media, and all kinds of external distractions. This behavior reminds me of the song, "Looking for love in all the wrong places." I will change the word "love" to "wisdom." Looking for wisdom in all the wrong places.
There is a couple of sentences in A Course In Miracles that point to this idea of intuitive wisdom. It is written, "This is a course in how to know yourself. You have taught what you are, but have not let what you are teach you." We all probably will admit that we don't know ourselves very well and very few of us knows what makes us tick. This deep level of self understanding is very rare. If you want to bring a conversation to an abrupt halt ask the person you are talking with, "Tell me, what makes you tick?" The question almost seems impertinent, doesn't it? We teach who we think we are and often our teaching is delusional at best, and harmful at worst. And yet if we deeply listen to the whisperings of the Spirit, we learn who we really are and then we begin to teach that and our lives and those of others improve.
I have shared with you before, George, my interest in Unitarian Universalism and the fourth princple of UU is to affirm and promote the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. This search, if we are serious about it, will take us inward not outward, we will search the internal not the external. And so, you knew, all along what you needed to do about your relationship with Judy, and you said to me, "Give her, her space." We agreed that giving her her space seemed to be the loving thing.
The test, George, of your decision about what to do about your relationship with Judy is whether it brings you peace and joy in the end. Breaking up is hard to do as Neil Sedaka sang, and yet possessivness, control, domination, guilt induction, retribution, are not the answer even though the ego often wants us to engage in these tactics. The answer to most of our problems is "What would Love have me do?"
Peace be unto you,