Friday, July 5, 2019

Is a Unitarian Universalist church a "God talk free zone."

Unitarian Universalists say they are proud that they don't believe in anything and its a calling card for other nihilists looking for  social connections.

Jeremiah Sutton told his friends that they don't have to believe in anything to join his First Unitarian Church. "Oh it's great! No creed. No theology. No pomp and circumstance. Just some febrile hymns and coffee. The coffee is usually very good."

Joey Marcuse agreed. "Yeah, the coffee is great and sometimes they even put out some cookies, crackers and cheese, and the carrot sticks with the Ranch dip are the best."

"You go to church for the coffee," asked Sarah with a bit of a frown.

"Sure," said Jeremiah, "and the fellowship. They have all these old people there. At first I thought you have to be over 60 to join this church. It looked like an AARP convention. But they were all really nice and seemed to really want us to join. They thought Joey and me were a gay couple which seemed to really excite them."

"Yeah," Joey said. "I told them I was transitioning from Joelle and that seemed to really turn them on. Jerry and I didn't have the heart to tell them we were straight. We didn't want to let them down."

"I don't know," said Sarah. "Doesn't seem like the place for me. I kinda want to know more about the Higher Power if you know what I mean, and drinking coffee, eating carrot stickes and pretending I'm a lesbian doesn't seem like it would be helpful."

"Yeah, well, they don't seem too interested in spirituality if that's what you're looking for. In fact, talking about religion and stuff seems to make em nervous. I asked one guy what he thought about Jesus and he said he was an atheist and not only didn't believe in Jesus, he didn't ever believe in God," said Jeremiah.

"I asked him what God it was that he didn't believe in, and the guy just snorted and excused himself and walked away," said Joey.

Sarah said, "Maybe they should put up a sign at the entrance that says, "God talk free zone."

1 comment:

  1. Is this suppose to be funny? Mocking UU does nothing to improve it. Shame on you!


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