Remembering what really matters.
The answer to the question “What really matters” is to be found, according to Neale Donald Walsh, not in the head, but in the soul, or as it might be preferred, in the heart.
Walsh writes: “Think this: My soul knows exactly what it is doing. Also think this: My soul already knows what matters. So it is not a question of finding that answer, it is a question of remembering. It is not a process of discovery, it is a process of recovery. This data does not have to be researched, it merely has to be retrieved.” p.4
When I am in counseling sessions with people I’ll ask a question and the person will respond too quickly, “I don’t know.”
I will say, “Yes you do,” and ask the question again.
If they say, “I don’t know” again, I say, “Guess,” and they always come up with some answer where we can begin the remembering, the retrieval.
One of the working assumptions of a good psychotherapist is that the client already knows the answers to their problems. The biggest problem is that they don’t know what they already know. The job of the therapist is to help the person remember what really matters to them. In psychodynamic terms this is called making the unconscious conscious.
It is one thing to know something, and it is another thing to know that you know it. People come to therapy not knowing that they already know, not only what really matters to them but what it would take to realize it.
In Unitarian Universalism we covenant together to affirm and promote the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. What this comes down to is for the person to consciously become aware of what really matters to them. This often takes an interpersonal dialogue where two or more people are joined together in a remembering endeavor. This activity is affirmed and promoted in the third principle of UU which is the acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth.
When was the last time that you had a conversation about what really matters to you or to them? What would it take for you to have one now or in the near future?