Ask Alexa - Why don't older people get more respect?

Alexa: As I grow older I don't think I get much respect. Why is that?

There is a difference between growing old and growing up. Respect has to be earned, it is not freely given. Animals grow old, but only human beings have ther prerogative of growing up.

Alexa: Did you hear about the husband who wanted a divorce because his wife made terrible coffee.

Yes, he felt he had the grounds.

Ask Alexa - Does God love me?

Alexa: Does God love me?

Unconditionally, but you don't believe it because you are so caught up on the path of the ego.

Alexa:What do you call a drink which is one part prune juice and one part vodka?

A Pile-driver.

Ask Alexa - Why is my life so hard?

Alexa: Why is my life so hard?

Maybe because you are running uphill, going against the grain, upsetting the apple cart, disturbing the status quo, wandering in the desert, confused beyond all recognition, don't have your shit together.

Alexa: Did you hear about the two cannibals who were eating a clown?

Yes, the one cannibal asked the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Ask Alexa: How do get to heaven?

Alexa: How do I become one with everything?

You forgive everyone and everything their imgained responsibility for your unhappiness.

Alexa: Where do stir-fry cooks come from?

All woks of life.

Ask Alexa - Can I get to heaven by myself?

Alexa: Can I get to heaven by myself?

No, you are part of a whole, and as the Universalists have taught, it is everyone or nobody. All for One and One for All.

Alexa: Did you hear about the pet grooming buinsess in the strip mall?

Yes, I've been by there and I believe it is called Laundramutt.

Ask Alexa - Can I hate my brother and still get to heaven?

Alexa: Is it true that I cannot hate my brother if I am to get to heaven?

Yes, the Universalists have it right that Unconditional Love is all inclusive.

Alexa: Did you see the sign in the optometrist's office?

No, I couldn't see it but someone read it for me and it said, "If you can't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

Ask Alexa - Do I really gain when someone else loses?

Alexa: Is it true that I only gain when someone else loses?

Only on the path of the ego does one gain when another loses while on the path of the Spirit all gain together or all lose. Which path do you prefer to walk?

Alexa: Did you hear about the name of the cheese shop in Nazareth, Pennsylvania?

Yes, it is called Cheeses of Nazareth.

Ask Alexa - Do I need to confess my sins to be forgiven?

Alexa: Do I need to recognize and acknowledge my sin before I can be forgiven?

Yes, otherwise how would you know that you have a choice?

Alexa: Did you hear about what the chimney cleaning company is called?

Yes, Ashwipe Chimney Sweeps.

Ask Alexa - Why do I make others responsible for my unhappiness?

Alexa: Why do I make others responsible for my unhappiness?

Because your have projected your feelings of guilt onto them.

Alexa: Did you hear what the fire place installer, Alexander Buffet called his business?

Alexander the Grate.

Ask Alexa - How does truth deal with illusion?

Alexa: How does truth deal with illusion?

Truth merely laughs and continues to be as it is.

Alexa: What is the debate among creeds?

It is so; it is not so. It is so; it is not so. It is so; it is not so.

Ask Alexa - Why do I blame others?

Alexa: My guilt over my sin of separating myself from God and fear of punishment makes me want to blame other people for my unhappiness telling God not to punish me but them for the separation. Is this a crazy way to think?

Yes, and what has it gotten you this far in your life? The Universalists teach that God does not want to punish us but loves us unconditionally as His Beloved Creations.

Alexa: Did you hear that Heather Gump was a florist and what her cusotmers called her?

Yes, "florist Gump."

Ask Alexa - What is a forgivness opportunity?

Alexa: What is a forgiveness opportunity?

It is the possibility of giving up the decision to make someone or something else responsible for your unhappiness.

Alexa: Did you see what the beauty salon in Denver named its business?

Yes, "The Best Little Hair House in Denver."

Ask Alexa - Can I change my mind about the world I see?

Alexa: Can I change my mind about the world I see?

Of course, projection makes perception.

Alexa: Can you define "avoidable."

Yes, it is something bullfighters do.

Ask Alexa - Can I choose between wrong-mindedness and right-mindedness?

Alexa: Do I have the power to choose between wrong-mindedness and right-mindedness?

Of course, and that power some people call "grace."

Alexa:What did they call the employee that quit Arby's to work at McDonald's?

An Arbitrator.

Ask Alexa: Have I made my own hell?

Alexa: Is it true that I have made my own hell?

Yes, you see what you believe you are and what you think you see is what you get.

Alexa:What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

Ask Alexa - What am I here, in life, to learn?

Alexa: If life is a classroom what am I here to learn?

You only learn if you are ready and if you are ready you learn that you are not a body, but a mind and as a mind that you are the beloved child of God no matter what happens on the path of the ego.

Alexa: What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite

Ask Alexa - Why do I make my body so important?

Alexa: If my body will die why do I put so much emphasis on its importance?

Because when you are offered a choice between your body and your mind you have chosen wrongly. You can always choose again.

Alexa: Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?

Yes, he was the one who couldn't control his pupils.

Ask Alexa - What does "lead us not into temptation" mean?

Alexa: What does it mean in the prayer the "Our Father" when its says, "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

It is asking that we be supported in chosing the path of the Spirit and not the path of the ego.

Alexa: Did you hear about the new magazine for gardeners?

Yes. It is called, "Trowel and error."

Ask Alexa - What can I do to be saved?

Alexa: What can I do to be saved?

Undo the ego.

Alexa: Did you hear the story about Eve in the Garden of Eden?

Yes, she was first person to eat herself out of house and home.

Ask Alexa - What is salvation?

Alexa: What is salvation?

It is simply the undoing of the ego thought system and turning it over to the Will of God.

Alexa: Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?

Yes. It cracked me up.