What does Unitarian Univeralism teach about sex?

What does Unitarian Univeralism teach about sex? So many religions focus intensely on sex and try to control the sexual behavior of its members. What's the big deal?

The big deal about sex is its procreative power. Sex creates new life. It is a power that human beings share with Creation. Further, sex is about assuring the continuation of our species. Sexual behavior is built into human beings biologically to serve the evolutionary destiny of our species in the universe.

Sexual behavior is often pleasurable but not always and it can be abusive, violent, and deadly. Unitarian Universalists covenant together to affirm and promote not only the inherent worth and dignity of every person but also justice, equity, and compassion in our human relations.

Good sexual behavior is about human attachment, bonding, and connection. Sexual behavior aspires, at its ideal, to enact the third principle of Unitarian Univeralist covenant which is to accept one another and encourage spiritual growth. There is no greater experience in human life than to love and be loved. Sexual behavior, beyond being procreative, is the facilitation of the joyous experience of human life born from deep bonding and attachment. Genuine, authentic sexual behavior is covenantal at its core. The two become one flesh as it says in the Bible.

Too often sexual behavior is erotized and the sexual partner is seen as an object to be used for the fulfillment of one's desires. This engagement in sexual behavior denies the inherent worth and dignity of the other and interferes with the experience of the holy to be found in human relationship.

Unitarian Univeralism does not teach that sexual behavior is sinful. Sexual behavior can be misdirected, mistaken, hurtful and harmful, and it can also be fulfilling, enjoyable, and facilitative of human growth and health. Unitarian Univeralism promotes the right use of sexual behavior and guides its members and others in its covenantal enactment in loving relationships.

What are your plans?

Unitarian Universalists covenant together to affirm and promote justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. How does that promotion occur? Are we talking social justice projects or daily living?

One of the seeming paradoxes in life is that we learn what we teach, we receive what we give, we become more aware of what we share.

So, what are you teaching these days? Your actions are the indicator of what you believe. Are you acting in Love or in fear? Are you understanding or judgmental? Do you forgive or condemn?

It's simple, really. We must choose which path we walk: the path of the ego or the path of the spirit. We come to the fork in the road hundreds of times a day.

Most of us walk asleep. We are not aware of our power of choice. We just react without thinking.

Now you know that you have a choice. It is being pointed out to you. Choose. What are your plans?

Quote the day, Camille Dungy - how our society supports the wealth of the few

In the interview of Camille Dungy in the June, 2018 issue of The Sun magazine, the interiewer Airica Parker says to Dungy,  "Speaking of glorifying the wealth of the minority, you write that in 1860 only around “5 percent of the Southern population owned even one slave, and a significantly smaller percentage owned more than twenty.”

And Dungy responds in part,  "My point is that most white people didn’t have the kind of wealth that the institution of slavery was protecting, just like most people today don’t have the kind of wealth protected by tax codes that allow a billionaire to write off a private jet but don’t allow schoolteachers to write off $250 worth of school supplies. It’s sometimes difficult to accept the fact that whole portions of our society were built up — are still built up — to support the wealth of just a few."

Editor's note: 
It is interesting how the 99% support the wealth of the 1%. What kind of a system is this that we have created here in the United States?

Is the resentment of this fact being manipulated by a billionaire President to fuel further racism and authoritarian policies to further enrich the 1% by encouraging one group of the 99% to hate another group of the 99% to distract them from realizing who the real culprits are who have rigged the system for their favor?

This rigging of the system is in violation of UUs second principle, "justice, equity, and compassion in human relations." It is also something which Jesus consistently pointed out - the unfairness of the treatment of the poor by the wealthy minority. Jesus never censured people for sexual behavior, but He constantly advocated for a juster system for the poor in society.

ForFreedoms - Justice, equity, and compassion in human relations

Unitarian Universalists covenant together to affirm and promote justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. How about helping artists communicate these pro-social messages? Only $10.00.

From the New York Times on June 3, 2018

This fall, thousands of billboard and lawn signs will be erected all over the country in advance of the midterms, bearing names of politicians up for election. But a new campaign by the organization For Freedoms aims to use those tools not to promote specific candidates but to galvanize debate and political participation through art. The organization has enlisted artists like Sam Durant, Theaster Gates and Marilyn Minter to create public artwork and lead town halls as part of a $1.5 million-dollar campaign.

“We are hoping to bring art to the center of public life in the lead-up to the midterms, which is where we think art should belong,” Eric Gottesman, one of the organization’s founders, said in a phone interview.

A central aspect of the effort, called the 50 State Initiative, will be a fund-raising campaign to put up billboards across the country starting in September. Fifty-two Kickstarter campaigns will seek to raise $3,000 per state plus Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico.

Editor's note:

This is a great Kickstarter campaign and I have supported the billboard in New York. Will you consider supporting a billboard in a state of your choice?

It's all good

Unitarian Universalists covenant together to affirm and promote justice, equity, and compassion in human relations.

What is justice?

Justice is truth. The truth is that we are all one, not separate.

This idea of oneness is hard for dualistic minds to comprehend. Our understanding on the path of the ego is based on dichotomies, comparisons, perception of differences, the reduction of wholes into component parts, separations.

We have been told, however, that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, and it is in this awareness that truth and justice arise.

Justice requires the giving up of comparisons and dichotomies: this is good, that is bad; this is sweet, that is sour; this is high, that is low; this is thin, that is fat; this is right, that is wrong, etc.

As is said in some circles, "It's all good."

Saying this is an awareness on the spiritual path. This is not a statement that makes sense on the path of the ego.

On the path of the spirit, it is all good, true, and just.

Healing is available if we choose

Unitarian Universalists covenant together to affirm and promote justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. Perhaps they should change this principle and covenant together to affirm and promote healing.

What would make a person want to be a victim? What would make a person want to suffer? There must be something in it for the person or (s)he wouldn't choose it.

Being a victim and suffering brings sympathy and maybe compensation of some sort as witnesses are manipulated to cater to the victim's desires.

The victim and person suffering becomes the center of attention and requires that others pay homage and console. In victimhood and suffering there is a power, hidden, that places the person in a superior position over others.

Playing the victim and being long suffering, for some, can become a way of life and a very powerful way of controlling interpersonal interactions. Would the victim and suffering person be healed, (s)he would give up his/her power and no longer be able to command the special place they so desire in other people's attention.

Victimhood and suffering have a huge place on the path of the ego. They command the media and our attention to the horrors and trauma that are highlighted constantly. Victimhood and suffering demand that they occupy center stage in our lives that we may all live in fear of the awful and the terrible and feel superior that these terrible things happen, and thank goodness they happen to other people and not to me and mine.

A  bumper sticker says "Reality is when it happens to you." It reminds us to be fearful of our fragile hold on safety and well being because it can be snatched away from us in an instant.

With the dawning comes the awareness that there must be a better way. We come to realize that victimhood and suffering on the path of the ego is nonsense and a social construction that we have created. We realize that these creations have blocked our awareness of Love's presence within us and among us, and once again we have been seduced to walk down the path of the ego instead of on the path of the spirit where healing is available if we choose.

Gentleness is a milestone on the path of the spirit

Unitarian Universalists covenant together to affirm and promote justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. In this principle, the most important part of the triad affirmed and promoted is compassion because without compassion justice and equity cannot exist and with compassion justice and equity become not only possible but probable.

Compassion requires gentleness.

Another milestone on the walk of Love on the path of the spirit is gentleness. The metaphors of "warrior" and "war" are dropped. They no longer seem appropriate and helpful to one with a nonjudgmental attitude whose life is now based on the faith and trust in Divine Love.

The opposite of gentleness is attack and harm. The desire to harm another is not part of the journey on the path of the spirit. When the Roman soldiers came to arrest Jesus, Jesus told Peter to put away his sword. In Matthew 26: 51 it is written "At this, one of Jesus’ companions drew his sword and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear. 52“Put your sword back in its place, Jesus said to him. “For all who draw the sword will die by the sword. 53Are you not aware that I can call on My Father, and He will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?

Gentleness, then, becomes an important milestone on the walk with Love on the path of the spirit for it is a very quality of experience which manifests Love itself. The Dali Lama tells us simply that the path of the spirit is one of kindness. Kindness and harm are opposites.

The measure of a person's life when the person takes stock of his/her life is kindness and a quality of kindness is gentleness.

Love your enemies - how?

In Unitarian Universalism we covenant together to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person as well as justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. What does it take to implement and apply these two principles? Ultimately what it takes is forgiveness.

In Murray Bowen's model of family systems, the concept of the cut off is very significant. Bowen's model is trans generational and he points out that cut-offs can go on for generations as was the case of the Capulets and the Montagues in Romeo and Juliet, or the Hatfields and the McCoys here in the United States that lead to the deadly blood feud in which many family members were killed.

Cut-offs, "estrangements," is the more common word, are very common. These estrangements are often bitter, resentful, full of grudges and recrimination, and often vengeance and retribution. Jesus, God bless Him, says that we are to love our enemies. Goodness gracious! How are we to do that? These others are bad, mad, and/or disloyal. How, in God's name, are we suppose to love them?

The first step is to recognize and acknowledge that in spite of the problems, they have inherent worth and dignity. God loves them as part of God's creation as much as God loves us. Hard to believe but true.

The second step is to be kind to them, that is civil and polite, even when we have our differences. This civil and politeness, even if not accepted and reciprocated, is its own reward because we have recognized the divine spark within the other and intentionally have made a decision to join with it.

The third step is to turn our intention over to the Holy Spirit for guidance and correction. At this point, we let go and let God. We do our best and God will do the rest. It is comforting to approach people with compassion and an open heart when our fears lead us to defend ourselves, close off our hearts, and even attack.

In the Christian prayer, the Our Father, we pray in part "...forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us......."

The fourth step is forgiveness, which simply means, to raise above and change our attitude in a loving direction in spite of what we perceive the other person as having done or is doing. Jesus says as the Romans are torturing and crucifying Him, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." If Jesus can forgive his torturers and executioners as they kill his body, it demonstrates that we, too, are capable of doing the same. They killed Jesus' body, but they couldn't kill His spirit nor can anyone kill yours unless you let them.

Forgiveness is necessary on the path of the spirit.

The Universalists got it right. God loves us unconditionally. The Universalists preached this message to the world and it has been drowned out. It is rarely heard any more. It has been drowned out by the idolization of the individual, and the meme of personal responsibility. In our materialistic, capitalistic society, there is no room for mercy, for compassion, for forgiveness because it is bad for business. We justify our greed, our exclusionary practices, our subjugation and oppression as "just doing business." The Universalist message is drowned out in cacophony of our "me too," and "me only" culture.

As a society we operate on the basis or "me," "mine," and "ours." We want to make America great again, an America build economically on genocide and slavery. Genocide and slavery are our roots, the deepest and sturdiest roots of the tree of American democracy, and we act surprised when a Trump gets elected and forget that his vision of America and his values have millions of supporters many of whom control vast resources of wealth.

Rev. Dr. William Barber, II, has observed that America is in a moral crisis. The moral dysfunction runs very deep in our history and in our souls. We either choose to forgive or continue to condemn erroneously justifying our condemnation as God's will and intention. The Universalist message has been dwindling and what will help our nation rectify the sinful path it is on is the recognition and acknowledgement of the Universalist insight. That recognition and acknowledgement begins with the naming of our errors and forgiving ourselves and others and sharing the grace of God's Unconditional Love.

It is written in A Course In Miracles, "Forgiveness is the world's equivalent of Heaven's justice." T-26.IV.1:1

That's an awesome idea. If God is Unconditional Love, forgiveness shouldn't even be necessary for what would there be to forgive? What difference would sin make on such a path?

If God is Unconditional Love there would be no judgment, no punishment, no hell. Judgment, punishment, and hell is the creation of the path of the ego. We humans, in separating ourselves from God's Oneness, have created our own hell. The ego loves the hell we have created because it involves drama which keeps us from being aware of the choice we could make to leave the path of the ego and embark on the path of the spirit.

If Heaven, the At-one-ment, Salvation is when everybody loves everybody all the time because this loving everyone all the time is an extension of God's Unconditional Love, then forgiveness of our own and our brother's egotistical beliefs, intentions, and behaviors is the correction required by the path of the spirit to move humanity closer to God's intentions for us on earth as it is in heaven.

UUs need to proselytize. We need to act as missionaries in our own country and around the world teaching and spreading our good news. In many places it will not be welcome. Jesus told His disciples not to waste their time in such places but to move on to places where the good news would be more welcome or at least listened to.

Standing on the side of love requires more than just standing. Solidarity can be a wonderful thing. Just standing though will get you no where. We must move - move out in greater and greater circles of love. We must teach, minister, share, nurture, uplift the idea that everyone is loved, not just loved, but loved unconditionally. That is their birthright, and when they are not loved something has gone wrong, terribly wrong. Recognizing this fact and acting on it is Heaven's justice.

There is a divine spark in every person that deserves only our love

Unitarian Universalists covenant together to affirm and promote their second of seven principles which is justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. The justice, of which this principle speaks, is not civil justice, although it can be, but rather a spiritual quality of God's kingdom which is happiness, peace, and a high quality life for everyone. Any less is unjust. As long as one person is denied Love, we all suffer.

It is only just that everyone love everyone all the time. Any less is unfair to God's creation. Love withheld from any of God's creations is wrong and blocks the awareness of Love's presence. For the person, from whom Love is withheld in our hearts and minds, we attack and all suffer in  a hell of our own making.

In order to love everyone all the time we must forgive our misperceptions and our misjudgments. When we misperceive and misjudge, we have not acted rightly and have been unjust, first to ourselves, and then to others. To correct our perceptions and judgments so that love comes to replace our injustice is what A Course In Miracles calls a "miracle."

In order to manifest the justice of God in the world we must love everybody all the time. What we must perceive and acknowledge is the divine spark in everyone which deserves only our love. When we love everyone all the time, God's justice manifests itself in our consciousnesses.

Is it just for everyone to be happy?

Unitarian Universalists covenant together to affirm and promote justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. What is justice?

You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have a high quality life. Do you believe these two statements? Do you believe they are true for other people as well? It has been said in A Course In Miracles that justice demands it.

On the path of the ego, it is believed that justice demands vengeance. Justice, on the path of the ego, demands that people are compared and found unworthy and offensive. We prefer to see other people found guilty and punished rather than ourselves. This preference in other people's guilt and punishment is based on our belief that justice demands it.

On the path of the spirit, it is believed that justice demands fairness. Justice, on the path of the spirit, recognizes and acknowledges that all human beings are children of God and as such fairness demands their happiness and high quality life all alike. Our function, on the path of the spirit, is to encourage people's happiness and high quality life like our own.

Is your God a just God? If so, your God loves everyone one of God's creations uncondtionally. As Sister Helen Prejean said in Death Man Walking, "Every person is worth more than his worst act."

Justice demands that everyone be treated is such a way as to increase their happiness and quality of life. Anything less leaves justice lacking.

Guilt and punishment or love and correction?

The second principle of Unitarian Universalism is "justice, equity, and compassion in human relations." On the surface, this covenantal agreement to affirm and promote these three things seems reasonable and desirable and yet in our society and daily interactions we rarely behave as if we genuinely believed these things. Our whole society, corporations, schools is based on retributive justice based on the Code of Hammurabi, "an eye for an eye."

Do you believe in guilt? Do you believe that human beings are inherently defective, inadequate, and prone to sin for which they should be punished to teach the offender a lesson as well as all others who would be deterred from similar sins and crimes by seeing a brother or sister punished?

The law here is simple: if you believe in guilt and punishment you, yourself, will be found guilty and punished. Most of us deal with this fear of being found guilty and punished by telling ourselves that we are not like the offender. Somehow we are different. Some of us more humble will say to ourselves as we find guilt assigned and punishment perpetrated, "There but for the grace of god go I."

It is said that we reap what we sow. The law of karma, simply stated, is, what goes around comes around. When we believe in guilt and punishment we are making our bed and we will have to lie in it.

Is this the world we want to believe in? Do we want to continue to believe in the original sin which makes all human beings innately damaged goods from their births? This belief has consequences, consequences which we have not seen and deep down do not want and if we can get past our fears, we come to know are not true.

The Children of God cannot sin. Make mistakes, yes, but sin? No. God, our creator, does not condemn us and certainly does not punish us. We do that to ourselves. So, the question becomes, do we want to follow the path of the ego and  condemn and punish, or the path of the spirit and correct and teach? Is there a better way? Yes, of course. Is punishment the path to peace and healing or is it love and deep understanding? Compassion and forgiveness?

What is the purpose of our relationships?

Unitarian Universalists covenant together to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person, and justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. UUs also claim that they are not as interested in getting people into heaven as heaven into people. The desire to help people find heaven within them, and among them, requires a skeptical attitude about special relationships and the encouragement of Unconditional Love.

If you have the same dignity and worth as every other human being, how can some be special while others are deemed not worthy?

Love which is conditional is not love. We could call it appreciation, responsibility, obligation, compassion, protection, possessiveness, desire, identification, but not Unconditional Love.

Unconditional Love is a whole other thing and abides in the cosmic consciousness of which we each are a part and from which we have separated ourselves out of fear of the loss of our little egos.

To protect our little egos we strike special bargains with others to give to get. This illusion becomes the basis for our justification for our behaviors. However, ultimately, give to get leaves us broken hearted, disappointed, angry, bitter, and even more fearful. The give to get dynamic of special relationships is no basis for a peaceful and fulfilling life. Special relationships cannot be the basis of our security and well being. And yet we enter into them unwittingly often and it is not until we find ourselves in anguish because of them that we question "what is the purpose of this relationship?"

Indeed, what is the purpose of our relationships?

UUs don't believe in victimhood

Sometimes we all love to play the victim. Some of us more of the time that others. For some it is their default position in life. When people habitually play the victim the ego has conquered their lives and made their lives a hell.

As a child of God none of us are victims except in our own minds. Our victimhood is a figment of our ego's imagination. Victimhood is not are true state. It is written in A Course In Miracles, "Teach no one he has hurt you, for if you do, you teach yourself that what is not of God has power over you. The causeless cannot be." T-14.III.8:2-3

Rather than victimhood, we can call upon the Holy Spirit for guidance in helping us achieve an awareness of our true invulnerability as spiritual creatures inhabiting, temporarily, bodies that get caught up in drama of attack and suffering on the ego plane but which is not real in the spiritual realm.

People who have achieved an intermediate level of spiritual maturity know that they are never victims except in their own insane mistaken beliefs.

For today rise above the baloney and hurt, and return evil with love knowing that the evil is not real and its only power to hurt you spiritually and psychologically is the power you give to it.

Unitarian Universalists covenant together to affirm and promote justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. This affirmation and promotion involves the belief that people are so much more than the trauma they have been victimized by. There is a fine line between compassion and pity. Pity is condescending, patronizing, demeaning, and disrespectful whereas compassion is respectful and empowering in perceiving the inviolability of the divine spark within each one of us.

The UU second principle and the tragedy of the commons

Unitarian Universalists covenant together to affirm and promote justice, equity, and human relations. How does this principle apply to the tragedy of the commons?

 

From whence does forgiveness come?

UUs covenant together to promote and affirm the inherent worth and dignity of every person, and justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. This is quite different from traditional beliefs of many religions especially Christianity which has taught that human beings are sinful and only acceptable to God because of Jesus death on the cross to atone for our sins.

Carl was so full of shame for what he had done in his past that he thought he was unlovable. "What should I do?" he pleaded not so much to me but to life in general. He seemed inconsolable. My providing a shoulder to cry on seemed to make him feel better because he calmed down as he expressed his anguish. What does one do when one feels lost, when what has happened seems unrepairable, when the harm is so great nothing, it seems, can ever make things right again?

T.V. Smith gave a lecture back in  1955 at the Social Welfare Forum conference called, "Solve, resolve, absolve." He pointed out that some problems are solvable, some are resolvable, and some there is no solution for or any resolution for, only absolution. And how is absolution obtained? Confession and forgiveness. The balm for our souls is forgiveness and from whence does forgiveness come? Forgiveness

comes from a change in our minds, a change from the ego plane to the spiritual plane. Forgiveness comes from the recognition, acknowledgement, and awareness that the drama on the ego plane has no effect on the spiritual well being of God and God's creations. This insight, this joining with the Love of God, disregards the drama of the ego plane and rises above it.

Our anguish often brings us to the point of break through where we realize that our lives our unmanageable and we have to surrender to our Higher Power whatever we conceive our Higher Power to be. We move from darkness to light and we are filled with the hope that not only is salvation is possible but it is here right now and we can know it when we clear away the blocks and obstacles to our awareness of Love's presence which has never left us. We just got too caught up in our own ego drama to become aware of it. We realize we have been dreaming a really bad dream and we need to have awoken to a new reality which is God's love for us and our love for each other.

Carl, in his desperation, finally admitted that all the judgmentalism he had been taught about himself and other people was not true. He, with great sadness, said that the game he had been taught to play in his church where he was told he was a sinner and going to hell unless he did this or that or the other thing not only wasn't true but nothing that Jesus actually taught. Jesus, rather, told us that His Father in heaven loves us abundantly, that is unconditionally. Jesus, taught, in so many words, that there is no drama in heaven. Heaven is a place of love wherein, as Jesus said, "love as I have loved." And so Carl had a growing sense of peace. Maybe the things he had been taught and thought were not true. Carl said to me, "I think I am losing my faith." I said, "It sounds like you are and you are sensing everlasting life."

Here is what T.V. Smith said in his lecture about absolution:

"How, therefore, to absolve oneself from this excessive sense of guilt? I do not say from a mere sense of guilt, that is being too romantic; but how to contain this sense of guilt within its proper compass. We have on the one side the pathway worn by centuries of religious pilgrims who have undertaken through rites and creeds to load onto shoulders stronger than theirs burdens which they could no longer carry. We have in modern times the psychoanalytic couch. Neither of these is available to all men and women in our generation who must carry the weight of the world's causation upon their own shoulders. What are we to do? Is there a philosophy of life that when one has contained it will give him a curative sense of perspectives? I do not doubt but that there is. While this is not the occasion to present the remedial philosophy of life, let me call your attention to two attitudes, either one of which can enormously lighten the load of sensitive men and women whose chronic pablum is to feed upon the woes of other men and women. In the first place, this philosophy of life of which I speak would be characterized by a very robust sense of humor; and second, this philosophy of life would be characterized by what I may call "piety," in the old Roman sense of the term; identity with the world in which one lives, with the natural world and with the social world, in such fashion that one has perspective upon the world and does not feel himself to be alone. As a matter of fact, humor and piety are much closer together than most people think. Both of them are effective ways of getting perspective in terms of which we can recover our balance when the world or its tasks prove too much for us."

To summarize T.V. Smith's suggestions:
1. You can either laugh or cry
2. Keep the faith in God's unconditional love for God's creation.

All that you have is your soul

"Dostoyevsky was right: lie to everyone but yourself. 'The man who lies to himself...cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and others." E.J. Levy, "Of Liars," in After Montaigne: Contemporary Essayists Cover The Essays.

One of the six sources of Unitarian Universalism is the "Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love."

"Can you give me some examples of these prophetic men and women," Don asked. "How about Dostoyevsky and Montaigne,: I replied.

"Who," said Don?

"Dostoyevsky and Montaigne," I said again insistently.

"Never heard of them," said Don, "and they sound like foreigners."

"They were," said I, "a Russian and a Frenchman."

"True Americans are supposed to hate both, aren't we," asked Don seriously.
"The Russians, I was told as a kid, might drop an atomic bomb on us at any minute, and we changed the name of French Fries, to Freedom Fries back when France wouldn't support our war with Iraq."

"Yeah, we've been told to fear and hate all kinds of people. The names change but the tool is the same. Now we're suppose to fear Mexicans and Muslims, and whoever else fits Trump's purposes, because these boogeymen appeal to his base. Got him enough votes to win the Presidency."

"I like Trump. I voted for him," said Don. "He's the only politician who says what he means and means what he says. You don't get any double talk from him."

"He lies," I said, "to protect himself and rile people up. His lies are losing him respect here at home and around the world, and I believe that he is even losing respect for himself."

"Are you kidding," said Don, "Trump loves himself more than anything. That's all he talks about is how great he is and how the media and the congress pick on him. He seems to have more self love than anybody I know."

"He doesn't appear to practice our UU second principle, justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. He does the opposite promoting America first, and bragging about getting the best deal, and stigmatizing people he tells citizens want to harm them so he can protect them."

"Well," said Don, "this conversation is unproductive as far as I am concerned and I've got to go."

"Be well," I said, "and remember don't lie to yourself, because all that you've got is your soul."

"Fuck you," said Don laughing as he walked off.

Transcending the dichotomous mind though forgiveness.

The second principle of Unitarian Unversalism is to covenant to affirm and promote justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. This is a worthy secular value but it implies that there is the opposites: injustice, inequality, and sadism also in the world and as we learn from the Tao Te Ching the spiritual life is based on a transcendence of the ying and yang, the paradoxical quality of our dichotomous minds.

What Unitarian Universalism should be promoting and affirming is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the rising above and the letting go of judgement. It is getting to a place where justice, equality,and compassion are no longer necessary because Love is all there is.

It is written in A Course In Miracles that we hold on to the past to be able to judge for "judgement becomes impossible without the past, for without it you do not understand anything." T-15.V.1:1

A little further it is written: "You are afraid of this because you believe that without the ego, all would be chaos. Yet I assure you that without the ego, all would be love." T-15.V.1:6-7

Does this mean I should forget the past?

Not exactly for as human beings that would be impossible and we would not learn anything and grow. What is suggested is that we forgive the past, we rise above it, and we do not let the past imprison us in the present.

As a psychotherapist sometimes I am asked, "Do you really believe people can change?"

I answer, "I would be a hypocrite and a fraud if I didn't believe people could change. Of course they can. I have been honored and privileged to witness miraculous change."

Anna and Mike came to see me after Mike had an affair. Anna, then our of revenge, went and had an affair too. They both decided to get back together. Mike told me, "We are so much better now."

Anna chimed in and said, "We went out for coffee and forgave each other and decided to start over again. It was wonderful."

They both are in their late 40s and had met in high school at age 15. They have been together 27 years.

"Start over?" I asked.

"Yes," Anna said. "We agreed to pretend that we just met."

Without history there is no judgment and with no judgement, there is a space for love to exist.

I love the bumper sticker "Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement." The best judgement is forgiveness which makes a place for love.

Is winning the only thing? How about fair play?

Vince Lombardi, the former coach of the Green Bay Packers, has been credited with the slogan of UCLA Bruins coach, Red Sanders, "Winning isn't everything, it is the only thing." Many young people in the United States have been taught this ethic. Win at all costs.

Competitiveness, always being right, never giving in for fear of being taken advantage of or seen as vulnerable, are not only preoccupations of Americans and the basis for the perverted view known as American "exceptionalism," but are contrary to the second principle of Unitarian Univeralism: justice, equity, and compassion in human relations to which we all pay lip service and then behave in our society quite differently based on contradictory norms.

My son was playing high school football and I heard he and his friends discussing the coaching directive to "hurt" your opponent when you block him or tackle him so he is intimidated. When I questioned these young men about this instruction, they insisted "that's how you win games."

"By maiming your opponent?" I said. "You are deliberately trying to hurt him?! What happened to good sportsmanship and the love of the game well played?"

"That's what Coach told us," they all insisted. "If you hurt them, they will be intimidated and not play so hard, and you'll win games."

"Really?" I said. The coach was known as a born again Christian and attended one of the Pentecostal churches in our town. I scheduled an appointment to talk to him. He sheepishly denied everything and I could tell he was guilty as charged but couldn't be honest and admit it. I said, "Listen, Coach, your players are getting this message from somewhere."

"All I do," he said, "is encourage them to do their best."

"Doing your best I hope doesn't include playing dirty. If this is the basis of your football program I don't want my son playing, and I don't want any other kids playing as well. Perhaps, the coaching philosophy of this school is a matter that I should bring up with the school board," I said.

"This school takes great pride in its winning teams. A couple of the school board members are former players of mine. They have been the recipients of our coaching philosophy. You don't need to worry about this any more. I will talk to my assistant coaches and the players and correct any misunderstanding," said coach.

Predatory capitalism also puts an emphasis on profit at all costs ignoring the external negative affects of the business practices to the environment, human rights, and the well being of the communities in which they operate. Google "mountain top removal" and see what the coal companies have done to the Appalachian mountain region of the United States and the communities situated in those  areas where this mining occurs. We, consumers, have contributed to the injustice, and inequities by buying cheap goods at Walmart to save some money overlooking the long term effects of these bargains on the injustice, inequity, and disrespect for the people and communities who produced those cheap goods.

It is one thing to talk a good game promoting and affirming justice, equity, and compassion and quite another thing to play it. It is this hypocrisy, often unrecognized and unacknowledged, that is destroying the environment on the planet, as well as a sense of well being in our personal lives as evidenced by the epidemic of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, suicide, and meanness in our communities and society. Listening to and watching our media, radio, TV, tabloids, internet, etc. we are not longer surprised at the scandal, the subterfuge, the tragedy of the day which will last about 48 hours for the news cycle until the next injustice, inequity, disrespectful thing breaks the news, and we can all tsk, tsk, and feel better because we are bad, but not as bad as that.

Are we playing to win or to be fair? Do we always need to be right or can we admit our mistakes? Do we need to ignore and look down on people who upset us, disgust us, annoy us, and threaten us or can we consider how God looks at them and extend some forgiveness and compassion? These are our challenges as Unitarian Universalists. This is what the second principle calls us to do. The ethical imperative of the second principle is so counter cultural, so foreign to the endemic ethic of exceptionalism of Americans that we UUs are the outliers in our culture. We do not fit in. It is very difficult to be committed to our faith and abide by the implicit norms of our society at the same time. Would that we, and the rest of society, could rise to our level of understanding and functioning to which we aspire.

My Kind Of Church Music - More For Your Money, Keb'Mo'

How can Unitarian Universalists save the world?

Once the At-One-Ment has been achieved when everybody loves everybody all the time, justice, equity, and compassion will not longer be necessary. These things will be moot, irrelevant, and meaningless for when we abide in Unconditional Love what could be the purpose of these things?

Even today, before the Atonement, in relationships which are Holy, and based on Unconditional Love sometimes between spouses or a parent and a child, such concepts of justice, equity, and compassion have little, if any, meaning. The existence of Unconditional love may be very rare because most human relationships are "special" and they involve the principle of "give to get." Egos are easily offended and hurt leading to resentments, grievances, recrimination, and counter attack. Often when we review our arguments, discord, and mutual recrimination, we recognize that what upset us was silly if not insane. Psychologist, Richard Carlson, wrote a whole series of books back in the late 90s and early 2000s on the theme "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff...And It's All Small Stuff."

While we continue to work towards the At-One-Ment, and Unconditional Love is still a rare occurrence, justice, equity, and compassion are necessary virtues which need to be practiced individually and in our institutions and organizations. The key to achieving justice, equity, and compassion is the awareness of incentives that motivate human behavior.

Plato taught that a person will always do what he or she thinks is good at the time. It is easy to rationalize how the end (which we think is good for us) justifies the means. It has been debated for millennia whether a good end can every be achieved by bad means.

As DNA evidence is now showing regularly through the work of organizations like the Innocence Project, many innocent people have been found guilty by our criminal justice system that all too often behaves criminally itself, incarcerating and even executing innocent people to further some District Attorney's career. Justice is more often about winning or losing than it is about truth, and equity (fairness).

There is a perversity in human nature that would rather be right than be honest, truthful, and when pride is at stake, compassion goes out the window. This perversity in the minds of people with power leads to tragedy that is endemic in people's lives in our culture and around the world. Unitarian Universalism has little to say about this perversity, this pride and egotism, which trumps the principles that UUs say they hold dear.

In the face of this perversity born out of pride, egotism, and desire for advantage what does Unitarian Universalism have to offer? Not much that is well known or practiced. My suggestion is forgiveness while Rev. Guengerich suggests gratitude. Rev. James Ford, Senior Pastor of the First Unitarian Church of Providence, Rhode Island describes himself as a "first and seventh principles preacher". Ford seems to assert that the first principle, the inherent worth and dignity of every person, and the seventh principle, respect for the interdependent web, encompasses the basis for the ethical imperative of Unitarian Universalism. I agree with Rev. Guengerich and Rev. Ford but remain puzzled about how to practice these in my daily life?

My daily practice has devolved into just being mindful of when I am irritated, annoyed, distressed, resentful, nasty, and forgiving myself with the promise of correction, and forgiving others their stupidities and hurtful behavior. It is in forgiveness that I experience peace, comfort, a realignment with the universe. It is also in forgiveness that I experience a rectification of injustice, a re-balancing of what's fair and equitable, and it certainly motivates a compassionate attitude towards others and the world.

More than any other ingredient and factor, the At-One-Ment takes forgiveness which requires a humble, self-effacing heart. There are multiple opportunities to practice forgiveness every day and I believe that it is the ethical imperative upon which Unitarian Universalists can base their faith and save the world.