"Dostoyevsky was right: lie to everyone but yourself. 'The man who lies to himself...cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and others." E.J. Levy, "Of Liars," in After Montaigne: Contemporary Essayists Cover The Essays.
One of the six sources of Unitarian Universalism is the "Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love."
"Can you give me some examples of these prophetic men and women," Don asked. "How about Dostoyevsky and Montaigne,: I replied.
"Who," said Don?
"Dostoyevsky and Montaigne," I said again insistently.
"Never heard of them," said Don, "and they sound like foreigners."
"They were," said I, "a Russian and a Frenchman."
"True Americans are supposed to hate both, aren't we," asked Don seriously.
"The Russians, I was told as a kid, might drop an atomic bomb on us at any minute, and we changed the name of French Fries, to Freedom Fries back when France wouldn't support our war with Iraq."
"Yeah, we've been told to fear and hate all kinds of people. The names change but the tool is the same. Now we're suppose to fear Mexicans and Muslims, and whoever else fits Trump's purposes, because these boogeymen appeal to his base. Got him enough votes to win the Presidency."
"I like Trump. I voted for him," said Don. "He's the only politician who says what he means and means what he says. You don't get any double talk from him."
"He lies," I said, "to protect himself and rile people up. His lies are losing him respect here at home and around the world, and I believe that he is even losing respect for himself."
"Are you kidding," said Don, "Trump loves himself more than anything. That's all he talks about is how great he is and how the media and the congress pick on him. He seems to have more self love than anybody I know."
"He doesn't appear to practice our UU second principle, justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. He does the opposite promoting America first, and bragging about getting the best deal, and stigmatizing people he tells citizens want to harm them so he can protect them."
"Well," said Don, "this conversation is unproductive as far as I am concerned and I've got to go."
"Be well," I said, "and remember don't lie to yourself, because all that you've got is your soul."
"Fuck you," said Don laughing as he walked off.
Thursday, August 24, 2017
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
UUs bring heaven to people with their seven principles
Linda said she believed in deprivation. She complained of feeling anxious much of the time. She told me her doctor told her she was suffering from "generalized anxiety disorder" and prescribed Klonapin for her which used to make her feel better and then didn't so she increased the dose and now it doesn't seem to work at all.
When we talked more she told me she grew up worrying about money, and her parents, and was fearful that there would never be enough and it was only a matter of time before some bad thing happened. As we talked she said she could see how the fear of deprivation had contributed to her thinking that sacrifice was love and it made her feel better to do things for other people to the point that people laughed at her and told her that she should remember that "nice gals finish last." Linda said with tears that she usually felt as if she was last or would become last in any given situation.
The doctor diagnosed Linda's problem as a medical problem, and a psychotherapist might diagnose her problem as psychiatric, and I wondered with Linda if it was spiritual.
Linda asked what do you mean, spiritual?
I said, "Thinking that you are a body and meeting its needs has made you fearful of so many things and situations in life that it is robbing you of your peace and contentment. You are not your body but a divine spark that is loved by the universe. It says in A Course In Miracles, 'As long as you perceive the body as your reality, so long will you perceive yourself as lonely and deprived.' It says a bit further 'Deprivation breeds attack, being the belief that attack is justified. And as long as you would retain the deprivation, attack becomes salvation and sacrifice becomes love.'"
"Does that mean," asked Linda, "that to be happy and at peace I have to give up my preoccupation with my body and focus my energies on fulfilling myself in other ways?"
"Yes," I said, "and our UU faith can help you do that if you pursue the mission of living and extending the seven principles. These principles are rich and deep and their implementation and operation in our lives brings great peace and happiness. Pick one and work on it for a week or as long as you want and then move on to one of the other principles.My favorites are the first, the third, the fourth and the seventh."
Linda laughed and said, "That's about all of them."
I laughed too and said, "Yeah, it's hard for me to choose. Start with the first and see where that takes you."
When we talked more she told me she grew up worrying about money, and her parents, and was fearful that there would never be enough and it was only a matter of time before some bad thing happened. As we talked she said she could see how the fear of deprivation had contributed to her thinking that sacrifice was love and it made her feel better to do things for other people to the point that people laughed at her and told her that she should remember that "nice gals finish last." Linda said with tears that she usually felt as if she was last or would become last in any given situation.
The doctor diagnosed Linda's problem as a medical problem, and a psychotherapist might diagnose her problem as psychiatric, and I wondered with Linda if it was spiritual.
Linda asked what do you mean, spiritual?
I said, "Thinking that you are a body and meeting its needs has made you fearful of so many things and situations in life that it is robbing you of your peace and contentment. You are not your body but a divine spark that is loved by the universe. It says in A Course In Miracles, 'As long as you perceive the body as your reality, so long will you perceive yourself as lonely and deprived.' It says a bit further 'Deprivation breeds attack, being the belief that attack is justified. And as long as you would retain the deprivation, attack becomes salvation and sacrifice becomes love.'"
"Does that mean," asked Linda, "that to be happy and at peace I have to give up my preoccupation with my body and focus my energies on fulfilling myself in other ways?"
"Yes," I said, "and our UU faith can help you do that if you pursue the mission of living and extending the seven principles. These principles are rich and deep and their implementation and operation in our lives brings great peace and happiness. Pick one and work on it for a week or as long as you want and then move on to one of the other principles.My favorites are the first, the third, the fourth and the seventh."
Linda laughed and said, "That's about all of them."
I laughed too and said, "Yeah, it's hard for me to choose. Start with the first and see where that takes you."
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
How do UUs respond to the racism at Charlottesville with moral authority?
Rev. Marlin Lavanhar at All Soul's Church in Tulsa Oklahoma gave a wonderful sermon on Sunday, 08/20/17 entitled "Charlottesville: It's not so black and white." It is well worth listening to and sharing.
There are many take aways from Rev. Lavanhar's message the most important of which is the importance of nonviolent resistance not something to be done lightly without the knowing possibility of injury and death.
Rev. Lavanhar supports resistance and protest, but also encourages people to be smart about it and prepared.
He also supports the rights of the Nazis and White Supremacists to free speech. As usual the moral calculus isn't always simple but requires thoughtful reflection and then strategic action.
I wished that Rev. Lavanhar might have spent a little time and effort in explicating the moral philosophy of the action he is recommending such as the inherent belief in the inherent worth and dignity of all people. If we truly believe this how does that value inform appropriate action?
There are many take aways from Rev. Lavanhar's message the most important of which is the importance of nonviolent resistance not something to be done lightly without the knowing possibility of injury and death.
Rev. Lavanhar supports resistance and protest, but also encourages people to be smart about it and prepared.
He also supports the rights of the Nazis and White Supremacists to free speech. As usual the moral calculus isn't always simple but requires thoughtful reflection and then strategic action.
I wished that Rev. Lavanhar might have spent a little time and effort in explicating the moral philosophy of the action he is recommending such as the inherent belief in the inherent worth and dignity of all people. If we truly believe this how does that value inform appropriate action?
Monday, August 21, 2017
Lack of security contributes to UU unhappiness
Dear UU A Way Of Life:
I don't find UUs an especially happy group. If anything I find them the opposite. They seem ready to argue over every little thing and they aren't good at resolving conflict which often degenerates into passive aggressive game playing and leads to schisms. It seems to me that the reason that UU congregations are so small is that people become unhappy and then walk away. I don't know what the answer to this is for individual churches and for the denomination. I am curious what you might think given your current theme promoting the ideas that UUs are above average in intelligence and happiness.
Sincerely,
Tom Kowolski
Dear Tom:
Your observations are accurate and the data supports your concerns. The problem, as is usually the case, is multidimensional. In other words, there is not a single answer, no silver bullet, no magic key. However, having said that, I think, we might say that the problem lies in the lack of security in UU congregations, and the lack of security comes from no clear agreed upon rules, and the lack of nerve when it comes to enforcing the rules.
In any sport, there are rules and a referee who calls infractions. The players agree in advance to abide by the referees decisions and if players or coaches disruptively object they can be ejected from the game. Without a referee and rules, professional sports could not exist.
Unitarian Universalism suffers from a lack of accountability. Nobody seems to be in charge and so the fight is on for power, control, and dominance. UUs have been encouraged to believe that if they think it, feel it, want it, then their thoughts feelings and desires are as good as anyone else's and they should not have to defer and if they have to in the moment, they carry on resentfully, and aggrieved until they leave or a schism occurs.
The UUA has been derelict it its duty to not develop and implement accrediting standards and hold its member congregations accountable for quality operations. Unfortunately, this has not happened and the denomination and most of its churches continue to suffer like the Israelites wandering in the desert. Security comes from knowing where one stands and who's in charge. In UU, there is very little accountability and guidance and so people flounder, are confused if not perplexed, and then become aggrieved. These UUs are not very happy people, and unfortunately, the denomination is not a very functional organization contributing to its small size and dwindling membership.
David G. Markham
UU A Way Of Life
I don't find UUs an especially happy group. If anything I find them the opposite. They seem ready to argue over every little thing and they aren't good at resolving conflict which often degenerates into passive aggressive game playing and leads to schisms. It seems to me that the reason that UU congregations are so small is that people become unhappy and then walk away. I don't know what the answer to this is for individual churches and for the denomination. I am curious what you might think given your current theme promoting the ideas that UUs are above average in intelligence and happiness.
Sincerely,
Tom Kowolski
Your observations are accurate and the data supports your concerns. The problem, as is usually the case, is multidimensional. In other words, there is not a single answer, no silver bullet, no magic key. However, having said that, I think, we might say that the problem lies in the lack of security in UU congregations, and the lack of security comes from no clear agreed upon rules, and the lack of nerve when it comes to enforcing the rules.
In any sport, there are rules and a referee who calls infractions. The players agree in advance to abide by the referees decisions and if players or coaches disruptively object they can be ejected from the game. Without a referee and rules, professional sports could not exist.
Unitarian Universalism suffers from a lack of accountability. Nobody seems to be in charge and so the fight is on for power, control, and dominance. UUs have been encouraged to believe that if they think it, feel it, want it, then their thoughts feelings and desires are as good as anyone else's and they should not have to defer and if they have to in the moment, they carry on resentfully, and aggrieved until they leave or a schism occurs.
The UUA has been derelict it its duty to not develop and implement accrediting standards and hold its member congregations accountable for quality operations. Unfortunately, this has not happened and the denomination and most of its churches continue to suffer like the Israelites wandering in the desert. Security comes from knowing where one stands and who's in charge. In UU, there is very little accountability and guidance and so people flounder, are confused if not perplexed, and then become aggrieved. These UUs are not very happy people, and unfortunately, the denomination is not a very functional organization contributing to its small size and dwindling membership.
David G. Markham
UU A Way Of Life
Sunday, August 20, 2017
How are UUs happy?
Pleasure is when we scratch an itch or engage in some other tension reduction like eating when we are hungry, drinking when we are thirsty, sleeping when we are tired, engaging in sex when we are horny, getting our fix when we are having cravings. Whether tension reduction which Freud called the pain/pleasure principle makes people happy has been studied and while the satiation of physiological needs is pleasurable and often necessary for life, it does not necessarily lead to happiness as experience teaches, but sometimes distress especially from overindulgence.
So what about happiness? Happiness comes from satisfaction and fulfillment of a job well done or an activity that provides a sense of well being. Happiness is situation specific and can be transient.
What, then is joy? Joy is an abiding sense of optimism, and well being. It is an enduring state of awareness no matter the shifting sands of fortune.
And bliss. What pray tell is bliss? Bliss is ecstacy. Is being one with the all. It is being in, what psychologists call, a flow state.
Our blog is called "UU A Way Of Life", and it's title is based on the premise that Unitarian Universalism, when practiced as a way of life, contributes, if not necessarily to pleasure, although the ritual of our coffee hours does that, certainly to happiness, and more importantly joy, and maybe occasionally to bliss although the mystical element of UU is rarely recognized, acknowledged, and celebrated.
Unitarian Universalism has been said to not be as interested in getting people into heaven as heaven into people. And how does UU do that? We will be sharing some ideas about how UU helps people become more intelligent and happy in future articles. Please share your ideas in the comments.
Saturday, August 19, 2017
By their intelligence and happiness you will know them.
Bob asked Phil if he thought he was smarter than other people because he claimed he was a Unitarian Universalist.
“Without doubt, “ replied Phil. “UUs have the seven principles and they aren’t for dumb people.”
“Not for dumb people,” asked Bob?
“Right, dumb people aren’t smart enough to understand the higher values which the principles entail. They are still unaware and operate out of a place of self centeredness and fear. It’s like they are stumbling around in the dark,” said Phil.
“Isn’t that view condescending and patronizing,” asked Bob?
“No, It’s the truth meaning that it’s an accurate observation that can be tested,” replied Phil.
“How?”
“Simple. Just ask people if they believe in hell and a God who would send a sinner there. Most people would say, ‘yes” and such a belief is counterproductive and antithetical to the magnificence of human potential and the benevolence of a loving creator which has given us Life. Most people live in fear and shame of being defective and inadequate in some way and it being only a matter of time until their fatal flaw is discovered and they are punished.”
“UUs don’t feel that way too, “ asked Bob?
“Of course not,” said Phil, “not if they’re real UUs.
“Sounds like quite a religion,” said Bob.
“Oh it is,” said Phil. “As I said, ‘UUs are smarter than everyone else.’ UUs are God’s messengers who will save the world.”
“Okay,” said Bob, ‘Maybe I’ll look more into it.”
“Good,” said Phil. “What you will find is that while UUs know they are smarter than other people, they are very compassionate and truly want other people to join them in their joy. You see, UUs are not only smarter than other people, they are happier too.”
“Really?” asked Bob.
“Oh yes,” said Phil, “by their happiness you will know them.”
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