UUAWOL nonfiction book for September, 2017 - Here If You Need Me by Kate Braestrup

Thank you Maria for your interest in this month's UUAWOL nonfiction book selection, Here If You Need Me by Kate Braestrup. Having lost your own husband you might be able to identify with Kate's circumstances when her husband is killed suddenly in a car crash and she is left with four young children. You have been in a similar situation and I have admired your resilience and ability to grieve and yet continue to function to carry out your responsibilities to yourself, your children, your extended family, and your community.

From what I know about your life, Maria, you have become an activist protesting the police abuses especially toward minorities while Braestrup went back to school and became an ordained minister in the Maine Warden Service providing religious support when the Conservation officers were dealing with a tragedy. It seems to me that you and Kate have done similar work in different roles in the service of different causes but a ministry none the less.

Because of your similar experiences your thoughts about Braestrup's book will be of particular interest and use. What I believe you and Kate have in common is a way of turning grief into determined efforts to relieve the suffering in the world and make it a better place. Your membership in Unitarian Universalist churches also is a common factor and it may be of interest to readers of UUAWOL to learn how the UU faith and values have helped you manage your tragedies and reconfiguration of your lives on a new level.

We look forward to your comments on the book.

David

What's love got to do with it? and the first principle of Unitarian Universalism

Jason, you mentioned to me in our last conversation that it seems strange to you that we hate the most the ones we love the most, and we hurt the most the ones we love the most. It is, indeed, strange, and in the superficial world of the ego it seems contradictory when in fact it makes good sense if we think that the opposite of love is hate, and the opposite of hate is love for how could we understand the one without the other?

The deeper truth, Jason, is that the opposite of love is not hate, but fear. We hate what we are afraid of. If you find yourself angry or you observe anger in someone else ask yourself or them "what are you afraid of?" You will get better information with which to manage your or their angry emotions.

"Special relationships" which we call "love" are illusions which are used to offset the unconscious hate we feel for ourselves and for others. We reassure ourselves that our hate cannot be that harmful if we can offset it with the asylum of a special relationship which we call love. We live in a world where these attempts are notoriously unsuccessful with the divorce rate of first marriages in the U.S. about 50% and for second marriages 65%, and relationships between parents and children become increasingly problematic as the children and parents age often leading to cut offs and estrangements.

The problem of this love/hate illusion is that we overlook the first principle which is to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person which is based on intrinsic value founded on the divine spark that animates our existence.

Jason, rise above the love/hate illusion and dwell in reflection on the interdependent web of all existence which transcends the mundane. When I say I love you, I mean this as a brother who shares in the divine creation with us all together. Loving in this way means that I love you as I love myself and vice versa. The Atonement, At-One-Ment is when everybody loves everybody all the time. In a spin on Tina Turner's great song we might ask, "What's hate got to do with it?" For Tina's song click here. Hate has nothing more to do with it than what we call love. It is fear, Jason, which is based on an existential awareness that we have separated ourselves from the Godhead.

Blessings,

Uncle David

The thee highest and ultimate existential questions for our consideration and reflection.

The three ultimate existential questions can be used for personal reflection, personal discussion with an intimate partner, and/or part of a small group discussion. Socrates said that an unexamined life is not worth living. It is healthy and joyful to examine our own.
 

What are the seven principles of Unitarian Universalism?

Q & A - What would love have me do?

This Q & A refers to the article below "What would love have me do." Use it for your own reflection, to discuss with a partner, or in your small group discussion group.

Unitarian Universalism and sex.

Lucy, your question about sex and Unitarian Universalism is appreciated. As you mentioned, other religions and Christians denominations have many teachings and rules about sexual behavior that sometimes seems way out of proportion to other moral issues.

Unitarian Universalism is neutral about sexual behavior being neither for it or against it. UU respects the person's right to conscience and the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. UU also insists on the inherent worth and dignity of every person. Having said that, UU leaves the topic of sex alone.

The main purpose of sex, of course, is procreative to assure the continuation of our species, homo sapiens. Mother Nature has also made sex enjoyable for the most part so that humans will engage in it. On the ego plane, humans have wrapped sexual behavior into a belief about special relationships which becomes called romantic love. This emphasis on special relationships when it comes to sex contributes to huge amounts of drama as evidenced in our songs, our movies, our TV shows, and literature.

When it comes to sexual attraction and behavior, the emphasis is on the body with less attention to the soul. Pornography carries this dynamic to the extreme wherein lust is stimulated by images and interactions which have nothing to do with the spirits of the people engaged in the activity. This emphasis is in violation of UUs first principle and the fourth and so may diminish the deeper awareness of the possible meaning and purpose of sexual behavior which may be to transcend the physical and enhance deeper spiritual communication. Psychologists have found that sexual satisfaction is not enhanced by mechanical actions but by the quality of friendship of the people involved. 

And so we come back again to the question behind your question which is "What is the purpose of sexual behavior?" The answer is procreative and recreative and it is in the procreative aspect that unconsciously we experience the most guilt because we believe that we have usurped the creative power of God. God is the creative energy of the universe who uses us to extend God's creation and we should realize that this creative power is not ours, but comes from the Godhead working through us. Do we understand ourselves to be the extension of God's creative energy in the world when we engage in sex or do we think we have stolen this power to ourselves alone? It is this unconscious guilt that we have stolen the fire of creation from God that leads to the myriad rules that religions make about sex without being fully aware of what they are doing.

Unitarian Universalism is not a guilt inducing religion. It does not teach the belief about Original sin but of Original blessing. UU does not believe in sin, guilt, and fear as other religions do and so it is neutral when it comes to sexual behavior. Unitarian Universalism is one religion which is not into the guilting business. If UUs teach anything about sexual behavior, it is that  sex should always be loving, and respectfully engaged in with an awareness of our contributing with the Godhead to the interdependent web of all existence.

Love,

Uncle David

God is........................................................