When callout culture is uncharitable.

 Topic Five

When callout culture is uncharitable.

it is not a good idea to start by assuming the worst about people and reading their actions as uncharitably as possible,” Lukianoff and Haidt tell us, “This is a [cognitive] distortion known as mind reading.”[59] 

When applied in this way, the misappropriation and misuse of the term “microaggression” becomes another mechanism for dismissing and silencing the voices of others by openly shaming them and making them chronically anxious about saying anything for fear it might be misconstrued as inappropriate. Referring to this practice as the “callout culture,” Coddling says, “anyone can be publicly shamed for saying something well-intentioned that someone interprets uncharitably.”[60] When used in this way, this misapplication of “microaggression” is not merely a form of mindreading, but of mind control.

Eklof, Todd. The Gadfly Papers: Three Inconvenient Essays by One Pesky Minister . Kindle Edition. 

The idea of a “microaggression” is a helpful concept if used in the appropriate context, but when taken out of context and used as a weapon to manipulate and control the speech of people it can be destructive.

This “callout culture” and attempt to shame other people as a means of controlling them is a favorite tactic of the self righteous left in which, unfortunately, Unitarian Universalists  participate. In pursuing a social justice agenda, UUs have forgotten their spiritual mission to facilitate the awareness of holiness in every person. 

Unfortunately, all too often the leaders in UU congregations and the UUA instead of manifesting mature leadership have joined and enhanced this dynamic of calling out and shaming the ideas of others. Rather than handling comments “charitably” as Lukianoff and Haidt suggest, the calling out of alleged microaggressions is used as a weapon to attack others and accuse them of suspect motives and thinking inappropriately and uncharitably. These attacks give rise to silencing, marginalization, exiling, and withdrawal and our congregations and Association rather than being better are worse off for it.

A Course In Miracles Workbook Lesson #289 - The past is over. It can touch me not.

 Lesson #289

The past is over. It can touch me not.

The past is gone. It’s done. It’s over. The hurt, the pain, the fear, the guilt, the resentment, the grievance, the anger, it wells up and can accentuate as long as we remember, ruminate, pout, and pay rent for it to occupy our minds. We can plot revenge, live in fear, get depressed, and live in our own hell. The ego world we create is a curious thing. One has to wonder if there is not a better way to live our lives?

It is suggested in Alcoholic Anonymous, in step eleven, that we improve our conscious contact with God (Love). Great idea! We can’t do this though if we live in the past dwelling on the past sins of ourselves and others. Before we can improve our conscious contact with God this s*** has to go.

In Unitarian Universalism we join together to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person. In order to focus on this worth and dignity the baggage has to be ejected from the clown car which is our life in the world of the ego.

Today, it is suggested that several times when we are upset that we remind ourselves that the past is over. It can touch me not unless I let it by recalling past hurts and regrets. Let it go and focus on the Divine within us and others.

A Course In Miracles Workbook Lesson #288 - Let me forget my brother's past today.

 Lesson #288

Let me forget my brother’s past today.

We all know that the past is past, the future is yet to come, and all we have is now, which is a gift that is called the present. It’s a present. Get it? Like a birthday present.

Today’s lesson tells us to forget the past. Why live in it when there are so many other possibilities?

In Alcoholic Anonymous, it is suggested, in step four, that we do a fearless moral inventory of ourselves, and in step seven ask God to remove our shortcomings which in fact God has already done because in God’s world they don’t exist. They exist only in our world of the ego which God knows nothing of because we made it up after we separated ourselves from God.

In Unitarian Universalism we covenant together to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person. In this realm of inherent worth and dignity there is no past, only the blissful present if we can remember it.

Today, it is suggested that we forget the past and focus on the Divine Spark in all our brothers because it is in this Divine Light that we find peace and bliss.

The kind of leadership UU needs.

 The kind of leadership UU needs.

Banishing those with whom we disagree, or banning them from saying what we disagree with, has been part of social control, in varying forms, for a very long time. Those doing the banishing or banning always feel morally justified doing so because they believe they are squashing or repelling the dangerous and harmful ideas of those they exile, torture, execute, or otherwise silence. From exile and ostracism practiced in ancient Rome, to the Crusades, Inquisitions, heresy trials, and McCarthyism, those responsible have considered it their religious and moral responsibility to suppress the “dangerous” voices of those with whom they and their communities disagree.

 Indeed, history suggests the first step in subjugating others is suppressing their freedom of speech. This is why linguistic colonialism (alt. language imperialism) always accompanies the spread of empire. As Spanish grammarian Antonio de Nebrija recognized in 1492, “siempre la lengua fue compariera del imperio”[53] (language was always the companion of empire). Or, as British colonialist Edmund Spencer admitted in 1596, “it hath ever been the use of the Conqueror to despise the language of the conquered and to force him by all means to learn his [own].”[54]

Eklof, Todd. The Gadfly Papers: Three Inconvenient Essays by One Pesky Minister . Kindle Edition. 

The idea of silencing others by enforcing norms of political correctness has been a “thing” for the last 20 years in our society. The term “linguicide” names the problem that we are challenged by in Unitarian Universalist congregations. It seems the whole denomination is made up of “church ladies” parodied in the satirical Saturday Night Live skits. Many church ladies and gentlemen  attempt to control a congregation by threatening to leave meetings if participants didn’t conform to their desires in what and how ideas are expressed. They are a powerful force in controlling discussions which participants are scared to upset for fear of being set up as a perpetrator of some sort of linguistic violence which then allows them to play the victim and rupture the covenantal relationship.

Playing the victim to control others is a subtle game very well played in Unitarian Universalists circles and meaningful dialogue is squelched and stagnation and paralysis occurs. People being set up to be perpetrators usually leave rather than take a principled stand. It takes great maturity and skill to deal with these dynamics which the majority of people don’t possess.

Is there  a better way? Of course. It takes mature people to take a stand and remain connected to others. There are few to be found in UU and therefore the denomination is dwindling. Can differentiated leadership be developed which can facilitate the amelioration of these dysfunctional dynamics?  It can, and it will take naming the qualities, skills, and competencies being sought. The Bowenian systems theory students call it “differentiation.” Charles M. Johnston calls it “cultural maturity.” Ken Wiber calls it “integral leadership.” Probably only 10 - 20% of the population function at this level and it is from this group that UU leadership must come if it is to survive and thrive as a religious denomination.

A Course In Miracles Workbook Lesson #287 - You are my goal, my Father. Only You.

 Lesson #287

You are my goal, my Father. Only You.

What does the soul yearn for? Reunification with its Divine Source. The soul yearns for this beyond the body’s desire for happiness and immortality. Are you a soul in a body or a body with a soul? Once you understand your soul’s (heart’s) desire, you can bring your body, mind, and soul into alignment and finally recognize the only thing that matters. Ultimately, the only thing that matters is the reunification with the Divine Source from which our egos have separated. Understanding this we can say, “You are my goal, my Father. Only You.”

In Alcoholics Anonymous it is suggested, in step eleven, that we improve our conscious contact with God. The desire for this improvement involves knowing that our primary goal is the reunification with the Divine which brings peace and bliss.

In Unitarian Universalism we join together to affirm and promote the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. What is it that we are ultimately searching for? A person who has reached advanced stages of maturity is yearning for reunification with the Divine which is the fountain of truth and meaning.

Today, it is suggested that we remind ourselves continually that what really matters is not the mundane practicalities of life which must be attended to if we are to care for the body, but the yearning of the soul which is to experience the Divine Presence.

Unitarian Universalism has lost its way.

 Topic three

Unitarian Universalism has lost its way.

The puritanical pressures now being instituted by internal denominational forces to control the narrative of others—both who can speak and what they can speak about—and, thus, the overall group mindset, represents a form of oppression Unitarianism has, until now, resisted. Using shame, self-righteousness, and enraged warnings about dangerous ideas and hurtful speech in the name of justice and righteousness, is no less than the excuses some once used to burn Unitarians at the stake, to cast stones at Universalists as they preached, and to kick them as they tried to debate, insisting, “You have said enough, quite enough!”

Eklof, Todd. The Gadfly Papers: Three Inconvenient Essays by One Pesky Minister . Kindle Edition. 

Many people have walked away disgusted from Unitarian Universalism because of the self righteous indignation expressed by those in power to silence those with whom they disagree. This is one reason that congregations and the denomination remains so small and has had little influence in the broader society. In spite of the expressed covenantal affirmation and promotion of the fifth principle, “the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process…” in practice the application falls far short of the ideal.

Unitarian Universalism is not a big tent but extremely small and generates resentment and animosity from those it treats with contempt and disdain. This situation has existed for decades because of the lack of leadership which has been obsequious to mob rule. This is not democracy but a form of nihilistic narcissism which promotes the idea that there is no truth and everyone’s opinion is a s good as everyone else’s opinion as long as it agrees with mine. This level of group consciousness is egocentric and sociocentric and fails to evolve to a more world centric and integral understanding. 

The mission of facilitating spiritual growth gets captured by special interests who want to use the organizational resources to advocate for social justice causes that are peripheral to the prime mission and vision of the organization. This organizing around social justice issues cannot sustain a mature organization because the motivations are situational and relatively short lived.

Will UU find its way back to a substantial mission that facilitates the spiritual growth of the members and the society within which it resides? It doesn’t seem like the leadership and the membership is much interested in this mission and so the organization may continue to dwindle and dissolve.

Unitarian Universalism has failed to create a meta narrative around which people can collaborate and thrive. This failure is the biggest challenge facing the denomination at both the congregational and the association levels.

A Course In Miracles Workbook Lesson #286 - The hush of Heaven holds my heart today.

 

Lesson #286

The hush of Heaven holds my heart today.

If we understand that “God” is the non dualistic Oneness, we understand that there is really no division, no separation, no individuation. These separate “things,” the object being perceived by the subject, is all a lie. At the fundamental essence of Life, it is all one thing. Understanding this, the noise disappears and the hush of magnanimous emptiness arises which was always there, just hidden by the creations of the ego mind designed to hide it.

In Alcoholic Anonymous, we are encouraged in step eleven to improve our consciousness of this non dualistic Oneness. In AA they say “easy does it” and “let go and let god” and “one day at a time.” With all these slogans, AA counsels us to hush.

In Unitarian Universalism we covenant together to affirm and promote the free and responsible search for truth and meaning and at the end of the search we find the peace of emptiness of the infinite hush.

Today, we are encouraged to enjoy the hush of Heaven which holds our hearts. Quiet our minds, and experience our soul enjoying the peace of the Divine.