When you grow up in a dysfunctional family you learn all kinds of dysfunctional stuff. You learn dysfunctional stuff about who you are supposed to be. You learn dysfunctional stuff about how other people are supposed to be, and you learn dysfunctional stuff about how people are supposed to deal with each other.
Andrew Boyd, in his book Daily Afflictions, says, "Not only are you ready on a hair-trigger to detonate a flexible array of adult issues, but you've been rigorously trained to handle operational systems of adult institutions, including passive aggression in the school system, guilt bartering in organized religion, and domination-submission patterns between corporations and government." p. 29
You are also well trained to screw up your personal relationships and bring plenty of pain and anguish and suffering to yourself and others whom you claim to love.
As Osho points out in his book, Compassion, we have forgotten our original face. Our original face was the face of love and innocence that we were born with. Our mother's womb was a place of love, serenity, security, and contentment, and then we got born and we came into the world perfectly innocent and were corrupted. The challenge of a lifetime is to rediscover our original face and when successful, we have achieved enlightenment, and hopefully that enlightenment includes compassion in such away that conscious love includes the whole world like that of an innocent, trusting, loving child who delights in sight of its mother's face.