Hector, in your comment yesterday on the article "Cosmic Consciousness and Unitarian Universalism" you wrote, "In the couples I counsel the often hold a secret resentment which goes, "You used to love me and still could, if only you would, but you won't because you________." We blame our unhappiness on our partner as if it were in his/her power to make us happy. This assumption is, of course, delusional, because our partner can't make him/her self happy. How could (s)he take responsibility for our happiness? The answer is not to look for happiness in external relationships, but to seek happiness within. Jesus said, I believe, that the kingdom of God is within you." Unitarian Universalism teaches that happiness resides in the respect for the interdependent web of all existence.
It is interesting how we, in Western Civilization, put special relationships, especially those based on romantic love, on a pedestal to be worshiped. This worship goes on in our arts such as music, movies, TV shows, literature, as well as gossip, and personal stories where these relationships are held up as a path to our salvation or damnation depending on the arc of the story. We have ignored or forgotten that these special relationships are but a small part of the interdependent web of all existence and often they blind us to it because of the intense focus and drama which these relationships entail for us. We would do well to remember Tina Turner's great song, What Does Love Got To Do With It?
To those with higher levels of consciousness, there is an awareness that romantic love is an illusion and special relationships are a counterfeit substitute for the authentic fulfillment and completion of ourselves that we seek. That authentic fulfillment and completion can only come with reunion with the creative energy of the universe, the interdependent web of all existence of which our physical bodies are only a temporary manifestation. We spent so much time and energy looking for that fulfillment, completion, and peace in all the wrong places.
Universalism teaches that God loves us unconditionally and forgives our separation and is waiting patiently for our reunion. And so, Hector, thank you for your comment and sharing what you have learned from your couples' counseling. It helps us understand a tremendous source of our unhappiness on the ego plane. It would be well if we could rise above the idolatry we practice with romantic relationships. Overcoming this idolatry would be a major step in bringing a higher quality joy and peace to our human existence and creating heaven on earth.
All the best, and thanks for your comments,