Chapter three -nonjudgmental attitude
Part one - the log is one’s own eye
The virtue of nonjudgmentalism can go by various names such as tolerance, kindness, compassion, etc. but the other names don’t get to the kernel of authenticity as well as a nonjudgmental attitude does. Carl Rogers, the famous humanistic psychologist, called this virtue “unconditional positive regard” which may be the best name for this virtue of all if it is accurately understood.
Jesus tells us we should not be concerned about the splinter in our brothers and sisters’ eyes when we have a whole log in our own.
How does one develop the virtue of a nonjudgmental attitude?
First, we must recognize and acknowledge that being judgmental is dishones tbecause we assume a position of omniscience which we do not have. We only see the tip of the iceberg. We are only seeing a snippet of a person’s behavior and life. Who are we to extrapolate from this perception to a comprehensive judgement of what a person is about? Sister Helen Prejean, the author of “Dead Man Walking” said that every person is worth more than their worst act.
The judgmental attitude is most likely a projection of our own unconscious shadow which so frightens us and disgusts us that we tend to see these signs and symptoms everywhere. Once we become aware of our own projections, can we call them back and examine their origin within us? In this examination, we seek to be honest about the origin of our attacks and take responsibility for them and leave the other person alone.
Jesus’ statement that we should pay attention to the log in our own eye rather than the splinter in our brothers and sisters eyes is encouragement to develop a nonjudgmental attitude and forgive ourselves and others meaning that we should not make them responsible for our own unhappiness...
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