The Spiritual Life, Topic Thirty two
Forgiveness creates miraculous healing in parent child relationships.
“The love relationship starts with the parents and it also ends with them. It comes full circle….One feels tremendously happy when one can communicate with one’s own parents. That is the most difficult thing in the world to do because the gap is so big….And man is like a tree, which needs both the earth and the sky.” p.76-77
Osho. Maturity: The Responsibility of Being Oneself (Osho Insights for a New Way of Living) . St. Martin's Press.
The most important classroom during one’s stay on earth is the relationship between the parent and the child. It is what A Course In Miracles calls a “special relationship.” The “special relationship” is formed usually in the world of the ego and not in the world of the Spirit.
Do parents facilitate the spiritual growth of the child or hinder it? In 95% of cases they hinder it because they create relationships based on conditional love and these conditional love relationships operate in both directions, between the parent and the child, and between the child and the parent.
Both parents and children feel victimized by each other. “I could be happy, I would be happy, if only you would………” This “give to get” isn’t love, is a transaction. Resentments, grievances, anger, fear, guilt are endemic in parent child relationships. Not until both get out of the victim role can there be Unconditional love which is the blossoming of both parent and child.
Immature adult children whose parental relationships are based on conditional love and a sense of victimhood will go on to repeat the scenario with their own children. This may be why Osho teaches that it is so important for one to come to terms with one’s own parents. The “full circle” Osho refers to may be the leaving victimhood and entering into the realm of Unconditional Love which is heaven on earth.
This move to Unconditional Love does not require both parties. Only one party has to exercise forgiveness to move out of the victim role. With forgiveness at least one party of the relationship is miraculously healed..