Monday, June 8, 2020

The Spiritual Life, Kindness is the measure of a person

30 Inspiring Kindness Quotes That Will Enlighten You - FTD.com

Topic thirty eight
Kindness is the measure of a person

The first component to spiritual health is peace and joy, and the second component is kindness.

Kindness is not the same thing as niceness. Being kind and being nice can be two separate things. Kindness is being friendly, considerate, generous and honest. Sometimes kindness is telling people the truth even when it hurts and is upsetting and holding people accountable for doing the right thing. Kindness sometimes requires “tough love.” Niceness often involves avoiding the truth and conflict and just going along to get along. Kindness is made of more courageous stuff.

Kindness can be used as the measure of person. To read a brochure on the topic click here. This brochure can be printed out and distributed if you wish.

The way kindness can be measured simply is to answer the question, “To what extent has kindness been present in myr life in the past several months or year on a scale of 0 -10 with 0 meaning 0% of the time, 10 meaning 100% of the time and 5 meaning 50% of the time?” This is meant to be a self report, and it may be helpful to get a best friend or trusted other who knows you very well like a spiritual director, a therapist, a life partner to rate their perception of the presence of these factors in your life as well.

Once a rating has been identified, this is your baseline. The next question is how can you kick it up a notch over the coming months or year?

Sunday, June 7, 2020

The Moral Unitarian Universalist - "I support your right to protest, but........"

Don't Be Afraid To Change - Ben Francia
"As social media is again flooded with Black Deaths at the hands of police officers as well as those within society who feel that white supremacy permits them to murder us with impunity, there will be this eagerness to “show up” in our social media threads/respond to our tweets about what is happening. So…..
Things NOT to do when Black folks are coping with state-sanctioned murder by police, over-policing, or having the police called on them when they are just living their lives
 Offer support---but with conditions-------telling Black folk that you are fine with them protesting, but…. 
Your role in this is NOT to determine ways for Black folk to express their justifiable rage. Save that energy for telling the world to stop killing us and saying it is acceptable. 
FYI, telling us what MLK would do when the only thing you can quote from his work is PARTS of his “I Have A Dream” Speech will likely result in your feelings being hurt."
Editor's note:
If UUs spent as much time and energy and effort standing up for minorities when they are being abused and disrespected by representatives of power as they do when protesters express their outrage through property danger things would have changed centuries ago in the U.S.
The fact is that most UUs benefit from their privilege and so they are reluctant to rock the boat too hard or challenge the systems of power from which they benefit. When people get uppity and start challenging the status quo, UUs along with other white Americans start getting nervous and try to tamp the energy for change and the expression of outrage down.
Time of UUs to do some soul searching. What systems do they benefit by and why are they scared of change?

Sunday, May 31, 2020

The Spiritual Life - Peace and joy come from forgiveness and understanding.

No One Wants to Hear This but Truth to Be Told a Long Lasting ...

Peace and joy come from forgiveness and understanding.

Peace and joy is one of the components of spiritual health. Rather than fear, anger, resentment, grievance, and/or bitterness does the person experience peace and joy in their life? If this factor is rated on a scale of 0 - 10 with 0 being 0% of the time and 10 being 100% of the time, over the last month what percentage of the time does the person experience peace and joy in their life? If a person were to give themselves a rating of 3 how could the person kick the rating up a notch to 4?

One action that can increase peace and joy in one’s life is forgiveness. The word “forgiveness” means different things to different people at different times. The definition suggested here is giving up making other people and circumstances responsible for your unhappiness. This means no longer playing the victim but rather taking responsibility for one’s own response to the people and circumstances in one’s life.

While we cannot control other people and often the circumstances in our lives, we can always control the response we make to them, the way we manage ourselves managing our relationships to them.

Deciding to take a nonjudgmental position and stand on the things in our lives or even better coming from a place of unconditional love engenders peace and abiding joy.

Further the development of an attitude of curiosity rather than judgement is a big help. Simply to ask “What is going on here?” and to formulate a hypothesis leads one to research by looking for data to confirm or disconfirm one’s hypothesis. This research is best done when it is done out of one’s own curiosity and not for other motives, and secondly that it is done in a playful way which engenders a sense of fun. The fun is a sparkling interest in learning the truth which enriches understanding. When that understanding is achieved, peace and joy descend from the heavens. The contributor to his experience of peace and joy, is the understanding which allows one to let disturbing and upsetting things go, and surrender to an experience of a Higher Power being in charge,


So to kick things up a notch when it comes to peace and joy, generate a hypothesis about what is upsetting you, collect your data, reflect and increase your understanding about what is contributing to the situation, and when satisfied, let it go.

The moral Unitarian Universalist - the racist criminal justice system in the U.S.

Brother of George Floyd: 'I just want justice' | News | Al Jazeera

"My son-in-law is a police officer and he isn't like that! He's a good man."

Common defense of white people of a system badly in need of reform. Such defensive comments exemplify a total lack of understanding of the problem.

The problem is not about individual behavior but about a dysfunctional system that supports the individual's behavior when it's bad.

Which leads to the question of "What's wrong with policing in America?"

Let's stop getting outraged over individual behavior in specific incidences and look at patterns of behavior over a period a time.

Is policing in the United States racist?

The evidence is plain to see for anyone who wants to look.

The moral Unitarian Universalist has covenanted together to affirm and promote the responsible search for truth and meaning. All too often this principle is only enacted when what is heard agrees with what one thinks.

UUs are as defensive as anyone when it comes to their core beliefs being challenged. We immediately want to defend ourselves and our loved ones even when they participate in systems that generate and condone racist and violent behavior.

There is no system in the United States that is as violent and kills and injures more people than our criminal justice system. The whole system is long overdue for a major overhaul. All citizens, but especially Unitarian Univeralists, have an obligation to do an objective and impartial assessment of the system and then do what they can to change it for the better.

Two things we can do immediately are:

  1. Support community police accountability boards
  2. Move to restorative rather than adversarial criminal justice system.

Saturday, May 30, 2020

Asking for the end of unrest and protests is asking for the continuation of social injustice.



In too many nice UU meetings where people start getting upset, people get scared and tell the people speaking vociferously, "This isn't the place for this!. If you keep this up, I'm leaving." How many UU churches would welcome AOC's message and AOC herself to speak?

Thursday, May 28, 2020

The Spiritual Life - What is spiritual health?

Spiritual Health - Home | Facebook

What is spiritual health?

Spiritual health is not usually named as a thing. Human beings are much more likely to talk about physical health, mental health, financial health, public health, community health, and the health of various systems.

One of the components of the UU A Way Of Life is to improve spiritual health. Before we can improve spiritual health we have to have a baseline, a reference point from which to compare. To ascertain a baseline we have to have a description of its components and indicators of the presence and strength of those components we can measure. What are the components of spiritual health? Here’s a suggested list to start:

  1. Peace and joy
  2. Kindness
  3. Forgiveness
  4. Attunement to the nondualistic Oneness
  5. Unconditional love
  6. Mindfulness
  7. Felt connection to the interdependent web
  8. Freedom from and freedom to
  9. Self efficacy


The way these components can be measured simply is to answer the question, “To what extent has this factor been present in your life in the past several months or year on a scale of 0 -10 with 0 meaning 0% of the time, 10 meaning 100% of the time and 5 meaning 50% of the time?” This is meant to be a self report, and it may be helpful to get a best friend or trusted other who knows you very well like a spiritual director, a therapist, a life partner to rate their perception of the presence of these factors in your life as well.

Once a rating has been identified, this is your baseline. The next question is how can you kick it up a notch over coming months or year?

You can use this model right now to rate your level of spiritual health. Let's say over the last six months to what extent has each component been present in your life?

After you give yourself a rating on each component determine one component you'd like to work on for the next month or so and make a plan to practice. Start small, review frequently, learn as you go, and re-rate in a month's time.

In subsequent articles we will provide more detailed descriptions of each component and ideas for improvement.

The moral Unitarian Univeralist - Failure to plan

Alan Lakein - Failing to plan is planning to fail.

Failure to plan

The Boy Scout motto was “Be prepared.” Grandma said, “A stitch in time saves nine.” Grandpa said, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” My boss said, “Plan your work and work your plan.”

W. Edwards Deming, the Total Quality Management guru said, “If you don’t know where you’re going any road will take you there.”

When we are children we want to depend on our parents to know what they’re doing and to keep us safe. If they do know what they’re doing we learn to trust and feel secure. If they don’t we become anxious and put a wall up around us.

We we are adults we want to believe that the people who have authority over the various aspects of our lives know what they are doing and working in behalf of our and the community’s best interest.

Leaders, whether they are the heads of households, supervisors at work, pastors, teachers, and professionals we depend on to provide ethical.effective and efficient services, have a moral responsibility to take their duties to others seriously and to do their best when performing them.

Incompetence is one thing, but failure to perform because of a lack of planning, discipline or will is immoral behavior.

.“I couldn’t help it.” It wasn’t my fault, it was theirs,” “What about them?” “The devil made me do it.” “Mistakes were made.” “It could have been far worse…” So many excuses, so many minimizations, so much responsibility avoiding, and responsibility shifting, and dereliction of duty. The resulting suffering, grief, injury, destruction, and death are enormous.

We live in a society of responsibility avoiders. Our legal system is based on it. Everyone is innocent until they can be proven beyond a reasonable doubt to be guilty. The system is rigged and people with power, money, and status usually escape culpability. They hire good attorneys, public relations reputation control specialists. They find self books and counselors who will find their past, trauma, family history, or some other factor to blame to get them off the hook.

The moral person takes responsibility, admits their mistakes, is willing to assess the harm and make amends. The moral person assesses the situation and when taking responsibility looks ahead to see to it that things will be satisfying, fulfilling, and safe.

There is nothing in Unitarian Universalism that gives the hope of redemption because Unitarian Universalism does not recognize and acknowledge sin. The Universalist view is that God loves humans unconditionally and so sin, mistakes, irresponsibility is ignored. The eschewing of evil is another of Unitarian Univeralism’s major sins which preclude offering human beings the hope of redemption. This is another reason that the Unitarian Universalist ideological story makes no intuitive sense to most people and its denomination will remain small and irrelevant.

With no sin and immoral behavior there can be no redemption and virtue. With nothing lost there is nothing gained. With no moral compass, plans are hard to make because who’s to say what is desirable and not desirable and with no frame of reference who can feel that their ideas and well being are safe?

Planning in Unitarian Universalism whether at the Association level or the congregational level is very poor. It is tantamount to irresponsibility when those in authority fail to provide a plan that is in line with the ideological story of the reason for the denomination to exist. What is UUs function in the world? What is its mission? What is its vision? How can it achieve success? 

The failure of Unitarian Universalist leaders to plan makes the children insecure and anxiously attached. The membership numbers show it.

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