Sunday, September 3, 2017

What's romantic love got to do with it? UU and its seventh principle.

Hector, in your comment yesterday on the article "Cosmic Consciousness and Unitarian Universalism" you wrote, "In the couples I counsel the often hold a secret resentment which goes, "You used to love me and still could, if only you would, but you won't because you________." We blame our unhappiness on our partner as if it were in his/her power to make us happy. This assumption is, of course, delusional, because our partner can't make him/her self happy. How could (s)he take responsibility for our happiness? The answer is not to look for happiness in external relationships, but to seek happiness within. Jesus said, I believe, that the kingdom of God is within you." Unitarian Universalism teaches that happiness resides in the respect for the interdependent web of all existence.

It is interesting how we, in Western Civilization, put special relationships, especially those based on romantic love, on a pedestal to be worshiped. This worship goes on in our arts such as music, movies, TV shows, literature, as well as gossip, and personal stories where these relationships are held up as a path to our salvation or damnation depending on the arc of the story. We have ignored or forgotten that these special relationships are but a small part of the interdependent web of all existence and often they blind us to it because of the intense focus and drama which these relationships entail for us. We would do well to remember Tina Turner's great song, What Does Love Got To Do With It?

To those with higher levels of consciousness, there is an awareness that romantic love is an illusion and special relationships are a counterfeit substitute for the authentic fulfillment and completion of ourselves that we seek. That authentic fulfillment and completion can only come with reunion with the creative energy of the universe, the interdependent web of all existence of which our physical bodies are only a temporary manifestation. We spent so much time and energy looking for that fulfillment, completion, and peace in all the wrong places.

Universalism teaches that God loves us unconditionally and forgives our separation and is waiting patiently for our reunion. And so, Hector, thank you for your comment and sharing what you have learned from your couples' counseling. It helps us understand a tremendous source of our unhappiness on the ego plane. It would be well if we could rise above the idolatry we practice with romantic relationships. Overcoming this idolatry would be a major step in bringing a higher quality joy and peace to our human existence and creating heaven on earth.

All the best, and thanks for your comments,

Davd

Saturday, September 2, 2017

UUAWOL fiction book of the month, September, 2017 - Heroes Of The Frontier by Dave Eggers

Dave Eggers latest novel, Heroes Of The Frontier, is the UUAWOL fiction book of the month for September, 2017.

The main hero of Eggers' novel is Josie, a dentist, who loses her practice through a malpractice claim against her when she failed to diagnose an oral cancer in an older woman she was treating.  Josie, divorced, takes her two kids, a son aged 8 and a daughter aged 5 and decides to go to Alaska to visit a foster sister. The story is about this adventure.

The morals of the story are many and in the mind of the reader. Share your thoughts through out the month.


Cosmic consciousness and Unitarian Universalism

Kevin, I know that you were raised as a Christian and have taken your faith seriously for most of your life. However, when you told me that you are starting to question your faith I, for one, reassure you that this is a good thing for many of the things that we are taught by our religion can impede our spiritual development unless we  question some of the teachings that don't seem quite right to us.

You asked me about Jesus' statements in Matthew's gospel where Jesus says "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me; and anyone who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it"10:37 This teaching is rarely understood and preached on because it is so foreign to what our society's norms are and what people want to hear.

The ego wants us to put special relationships ahead of God because the ego teaches that these special relationships are what will make us happy although when we are honest we must admit that these special relationships bring us as much suffering, anxiety, anger, hurt, and destruction as they do joy and peace. The reason these relationships disturb our joy and peace is because our desire for union and completion (belonging) is misplaced. What we unconsciously are really desiring is to become one again with the universe and enjoy the enlightenment of cosmic consciousness. Can special relationships ever give us that?

When we realize that we have been looking for love in all the wrong places we feel foolish and ashamed. We think we should have known better all along. We may also be angry and sad that we have wasted so much time in the drama and enervation of trying to achieve the unachievable. Jesus tries to set us straight, to point us in the right direction, but largely, even by churches that profess to follow His teachings, His teachings are either not understood or ignored as being too difficult to act on.

Unitarian Universalism teaches the unconditional love of the creator and reassures us that the Spirit of Life would never abandon us or condemn us to punishment. UU encourages us to not get people into heaven but heaven into people and asks us to covenant to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person not just some people or special people. One of the ways to get heaven into people is to recognize and acknowledge that all people are special in the sense that everyone is unique just like everybody else.:-)) Jesus is calling us to a higher path when He tells us we must detach from special relationships and first and foremost devote ourselves to the Holy, the union of everybody with everybody all the time which is heaven.

Kevin, this calling by Jesus is a call to a miraculous way of living in which we change our perception from the special relationships on the ego plane to the cosmic consciousness of oneness with the Godhead.

As they say in AA, "Let go, and let God." Continue to question authority on the ego plane and seek the guidance of the inner voice of God. The way you can tell the difference is if the ideas give you peace.

Uncle David

Friday, September 1, 2017

How do UU parents explain Donald Trump's election to their kids?


Dr. Ava Sigler wrote in her book, How Do I Explain This To My Kids: Parenting In The Age Of Trump, "Beyond these threats to our democratic way of life, Donald Trump's performance during his campaign and presidency has seemingly validated a long list of behaviors we strive to get our children to recognize and reject, from rudeness, prejudice, and bullying to dishonesty, greed, and shamelessness." p.ix

Here in New York State most school districts start school this coming Wednesday, after Labor Day, on September 6, 2017 and the societal tension will increase as adults, parents, teachers, and other adults must address the problematic behavior of the U.S. President and what to tell the kids?

What ideas do you have? What have you told your kids? What would you hope would be taught to them in school? If Donald Trump exhibited his campaign and post election rally behavior in school he would have been suspended or expelled. Yesterday, I heard a focus group on TV and these were people who voted for Donald Trump, discuss the idea that they no longer expect him to act "presidential" because they stated he doesn't even act professional. Many of the members of the group stated that they would be fired from their place of employment if they acted like Donald Trump, and most kids would be place on some sort of disciplinary protocol if they acted like Trump in school.

Even more egregious are the congressional members of Donald Trump's party who fail to act, and who by their silence allow the behavior to continue uncensured. Evil triumphs when good people do nothing and look the other way.

UUAWOL nonfiction book for September, 2017 - Here If You Need Me by Kate Braestrup

Thank you Maria for your interest in this month's UUAWOL nonfiction book selection, Here If You Need Me by Kate Braestrup. Having lost your own husband you might be able to identify with Kate's circumstances when her husband is killed suddenly in a car crash and she is left with four young children. You have been in a similar situation and I have admired your resilience and ability to grieve and yet continue to function to carry out your responsibilities to yourself, your children, your extended family, and your community.

From what I know about your life, Maria, you have become an activist protesting the police abuses especially toward minorities while Braestrup went back to school and became an ordained minister in the Maine Warden Service providing religious support when the Conservation officers were dealing with a tragedy. It seems to me that you and Kate have done similar work in different roles in the service of different causes but a ministry none the less.

Because of your similar experiences your thoughts about Braestrup's book will be of particular interest and use. What I believe you and Kate have in common is a way of turning grief into determined efforts to relieve the suffering in the world and make it a better place. Your membership in Unitarian Universalist churches also is a common factor and it may be of interest to readers of UUAWOL to learn how the UU faith and values have helped you manage your tragedies and reconfiguration of your lives on a new level.

We look forward to your comments on the book.

David







Thursday, August 31, 2017

What's love got to do with it? and the first principle of Unitarian Universalism

Jason, you mentioned to me in our last conversation that it seems strange to you that we hate the most the ones we love the most, and we hurt the most the ones we love the most. It is, indeed, strange, and in the superficial world of the ego it seems contradictory when in fact it makes good sense if we think that the opposite of love is hate, and the opposite of hate is love for how could we understand the one without the other?

The deeper truth, Jason, is that the opposite of love is not hate, but fear. We hate what we are afraid of. If you find yourself angry or you observe anger in someone else ask yourself or them "what are you afraid of?" You will get better information with which to manage your or their angry emotions.

"Special relationships" which we call "love" are illusions which are used to offset the unconscious hate we feel for ourselves and for others. We reassure ourselves that our hate cannot be that harmful if we can offset it with the asylum of a special relationship which we call love. We live in a world where these attempts are notoriously unsuccessful with the divorce rate of first marriages in the U.S. about 50% and for second marriages 65%, and relationships between parents and children become increasingly problematic as the children and parents age often leading to cut offs and estrangements.

The problem of this love/hate illusion is that we overlook the first principle which is to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person which is based on intrinsic value founded on the divine spark that animates our existence.

Jason, rise above the love/hate illusion and dwell in reflection on the interdependent web of all existence which transcends the mundane. When I say I love you, I mean this as a brother who shares in the divine creation with us all together. Loving in this way means that I love you as I love myself and vice versa. The Atonement, At-One-Ment is when everybody loves everybody all the time. In a spin on Tina Turner's great song we might ask, "What's hate got to do with it?" For Tina's song click here. Hate has nothing more to do with it than what we call love. It is fear, Jason, which is based on an existential awareness that we have separated ourselves from the Godhead.

Blessings,

Uncle David

The thee highest and ultimate existential questions for our consideration and reflection.

The three ultimate existential questions can be used for personal reflection, personal discussion with an intimate partner, and/or part of a small group discussion. Socrates said that an unexamined life is not worth living. It is healthy and joyful to examine our own.
 
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