Story of the day - A sincere and authentic heart

Brian left the Catholic church saying, "There are too many mysteries there for me to base a life on. You know, virgin births, bodily resurrection and assumptions, going to hell for eating meat on Friday, missing mass on Sunday, and having sex with my girlfriend."

Kara, "Yeah, well, you know, they still forbid women to use birth control even with the population on the planet over seven billion and growing. It's lunacy. Jesus loved women and if He were alive today, he'd want them to use birth control I am absolutely convinced. Not a question in my mind."

"It's no wonder the Catholic churches in first world countries are emptying out. Nobody in this day and age could take this antiquated stuff seriously any more," said Brian.

"My mom and dad paid lip service to the church when we were growing up," said Kara. "They are what I call 'cultural catholics'. They didn't want to upset their family and friends so they went to mass and had us kids participate in the sacraments, you know, baptism, first communion, penance, all that stuff. I refused to get confirmed though when I was 14 and they didn't say much, only that it was my decision."

Brian said laughing, "So you're a back slider, a FARC, Fallen Away Roman Catholic."

"I don't know if you can fall out of something you never intentionally chose to get into. In fact when I had to chose at confirmation, I said 'no'", said Kara.

"As Polonius says in Hamlet, 'Above all else, to thine own self be true,'" said Brian.

"How could God ask for anything more than a sincere, and authentic heart?" asked Kara.

"Indeed!" said Brian, "You go girl!"

If you don't know where you're going any road will take you there.

The second part of the third principle of Unitarian Universalism is "....encouragement to spiritual growth..." How do Unitarian Universalist congregations help its members in spiritual growth and how do members of the congregation help one another? In an of it itself, without being deconstructed, unpacked, the phrase "spiritual growth" is little more that psychobabble. Does Unitarian Universalism provide any model to measure spiritual growth let alone define what the phrase means?

Unitarian Universalism professes to draw what it calls its "living tradition" from six sources all of which might define spiritual growth in a different way, and if a Unitarian Universalist congregation member prefers to consider his or her spiritual growth from the lens of one of the sources which other UUs aren't familiar with, how could UU congregational members help each other in their spiritual growth along a path unfamiliar to another UU member?

The answer might be found in an integrated model of spiritual growth which encompasses all of the sources like James Fowler's stages of faith development and/or Lawrence Kohlberg's model of moral development. There also many models of  "spiritual type" based on personality traits such as the Enneagram and other models. Having taken the spiritual identity test published by Skylight Paths I have learned that I am an SC- Skeptical Contemplative. Here's the description of the Skeptical-Contemplative type:

"The fastest growing of the Spiritual Types, the Skeptical-Contemplative person may not be completely sure of what (s)he believes about spiritual things but is interested in discovering what there might be to discover. SCs often do not adhere to any one spiritual tradition exclusively, and they rarely join spiritual groups. They find a variety of spiritual practices and religious traditions stimulating. If they worship, they often do so on their own terms - sometimes participating in religious services but holding on to their own personal convictions in matters of faith. There is an underlying mystical strain in a percentage of SCs as they are intellectually skeptical of all spiritual teaching, but at the same time hold great faith in the guidance of the spirit within them to find the truth." Who Is My God? ed by Skylight Paths, p. 33

Unless you know your own and others spiritual type, and what stage you and they are in faith development, it seems that it would be difficult to know how to best encourage your own and other's spiritual development.

Fowler's model has six stages. Here is how stage 3 is described: "

Stage 3 – "Synthetic-Conventional" faith (arising in adolescence; aged 12 to adulthood) characterized by conformity to religious authority and the development of a personal identity. Any conflicts with one's beliefs are ignored at this stage due to the fear of threat from inconsistencies.

In my experience this is where most "born again" Christians and fundamentalists seem to be. I would hypothesize that most Unitarian Universalists have moved past this stage especially if they are not cradle UUs but have come to Unitarian Universalism after having been raised in some other faith.

 Here is stage 4: 

Stage 4 – "Individuative-Reflective" faith (usually mid-twenties to late thirties) a stage of angst and struggle. The individual takes personal responsibility for his or her beliefs and feelings. As one is able to reflect on one's own beliefs, there is an openness to a new complexity of faith, but this also increases the awareness of conflicts in one's belief.

This may be the stage when a seeker is drawn to Unitarian Universalism as they are attracted by the fourth principle, a free and responsible search for truth and meaning. A seeker may be attracted and investigate but will the seeker engage and stay? The encouragement of spiritual growth at this stage involves the reassurance that questioning and doubting is not only okay, but the first step in finding one's own path. Rev. Galen Guengerich tells the story in his book, God Revised, how, having been raised as a Mennonite, there was fear in his family and friends when he went off to Princeton Theological Seminary that he would lose his faith. As Rev. Guengerich puts it, he didn't lose his faith, he lost somebody else's. His challenge was to find his faith, a faith of his own not a hand-me down.

As you might think most people attracted to, and engaged in Unitarian Universalism, are further along in their faith development than the average adult. This requires a maturity to manage and accept ambiguity and paradox, and tolerate the consequent anxiety generated by the recognition of uncertainty when reflecting on things religious. People at this stage take comfort from the companionship of other open minded, open hearted, free thinkers. People at this stage start to realize that what matters in life is what they value, and how they behave, more that what they profess to believe to be in compliance with some externally drafted and imposed code. People at this stage are not necessarily looking for the right answers, but the right questions. Without the right questions people are lost, confused, wandering in a frustrating way, but great assistance is provided when seekers are helped with the provision of a map, a frame of reference so they can determine where they are and where they want to go. Whether they take the journey or not is another question but they can't make an informed decision unless they are helped to describe and understand the options. As W. Edwards Deming, the Total Quality Management guru supposedly said, and I expect he stole the saying from somebody else, "If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there."

The problem with Unitarian Universalism today is that it doesn't know where it's going, and not knowing that, hasn't a clue about how to get there. If Unitarian Universalism is to help people in their spiritual growth, it needs to know the path and communicate it in helpful ways to the seekers who turn to her.

God Revised, revised: The conversation continues is now available from Amazon

God Revised, revised: The conversation continues is a book of essays based on a critical reading of Rev. Dr. Galen Guengerich's book, God Revised. New ideas have been added to the ideas that Rev. Guengerich writes about in his book. Every essay has discussion questions for consideration, and/or to stimulate a group discussion of current ideas about Unitarian Universalist theology.

This little book is affordably priced at $9.45 from Amazon. It would lend itself for adult education study groups.

It is not necessary to have read God Revised to get a lot of stimulating ideas from this book.

Antidote for incapacitating knowledge is a rich interior spiritual life

We have the internet and google and as Pipher quotes a school administrator she interviewed, "Sometimes in the early 1990s problems stopped being solvable." A friend put it this way, 'There are no simple problems anymore.'" p.16 Pipher doesn't say this, but I sensed that what the school administrator said was true and I wondered why, and then it dawned on me, the mid 90s was when the world wide web began to come into common use. We are overwhelmed with information. You know the old saying "Ignorance is bliss?" Well, we aren't ignorant any more. The information is at our finger tips, and our bliss has quickly evaporated.

Pipher writes a little further, "We constantly are told - and we tell ourselves - that whatever topic is being considered is the most important thing. Every day we are admonished that it is essential to ___________. ...........Everything can't be the most important thing." p.17

As we have become more enamored with the electronic media a new phenomenon has emerged called FOMO, Fear Of Missing Out. We see it hourly with people transfixed by robots such as smart phones, tablets, laptops, Ipods.

Pipher writes further "Sociologist Barbara Katz Rothman has a phrase for information which makes life seem more complicated and disturbing than it already is. She calls it 'incapacitating knowledge'" p.23

Pipher observes, "Psychologists know that delivering too much bad news at once leads to emotional shutdown. But sugarcoating facts doesn't inspire positive change, either. In therapy, clients need a certain amount of anxiety to propel them toward change, but not so much as to discourage their hopeful efforts." p.25

If it is accurate to say that we live in a time of "incapacitating knowledge" people need to be encouraged to turn the media off, to strategically withdraw and turn their attention from the ego plane which increasingly has become a hell to the kingdom within. I, as a therapist, have increasingly been asking my clients, "What's your interior spiritual life like?" and surprisingly for me, people usually respond readily. I have never had a client object to the question and almost always the client articulates some description. The antidote to the vicarious trauma what we all are increasingly subjected to is the development of an interior spiritual life. We have seen the rise of popularity in yoga and meditation classes in the United States. The self-help sections of the bookstore are loaded with books on "mindfulness" and relaxation techniques.

What does Unitarian Universalism have to offer to help people develop an interior spiritual life that enhances awareness of Love's presence? Unitarian Universalism draws from its six sources but it seems Unitarian Universalists are pretty much left on their own to explore and draw from these sources rather than access an integrated approach unique to Unitarian Universalism itself. It would seem that the one thing than Unitarian Universalism possesses and can convey is the idea the God loves each and everyone of us unconditionally. UUs have a long history in the belief in universal salvation. How this is brought about is in not only the belief but the action of loving one another. In my early Roman Catholic upbringing I learned the latin expressions, "Pax vobiscum", peace be with you, and the answer was "et cum spiritu tuo." and may the spirit be with you." As UU ministers like to end their sermons, "May it be so."

Story of the day - The "big lie" and there are so many of them

Larry was hollering and screaming at the TV when Karen came into the living room just in time to watch him hurl a throw pillow at the TV.

"Wohhhhhhhhhhhw," said Karen, "down big guy."

"I'm so pissed," ranted Larry. "I can't believe what they're doing now. Jesus Christ almighty. If He wasn't resurrected, He'd be rolling over in his grave."

"Did you take your pills today," asked Karen.

"No god damn it, I didn't take my pills. I wanted some beers, so I'm skipping them today," said Larry.

"You really think that's a good idea?" asked Karen with a subdued tone so she didn't upset him further.

"Listen, if a guy can't have a couple of beers on Sunday, what's the point of living?" asked Larry.

"You work hard," said Karen placatingly, "and you deserve to relax and enjoy yourself on your day off, but look at what's happening to you. Maybe you need to stop watching these Sunday morning political shows. They just get you upset."

"Yeah, maybe you're right. I don't know why I let them get to me. You know, when I was in high school, our Social Studies teacher wanted us to watch the news to keep up with world and national events. If we wrote up a report of what we learned, he'd give us extra credit. So it seemed like a good thing, like its my patriotic duty to keep up with what's going on, but Jesus, these assholes just don't get it and are only in it for themselves, and then these TV moderators seem to just want to stir up trouble,"said Larry.

"Remember Holden Caufield, in Catcher In The Rye, talking about the big lie?" said Karen.

"Yeah, it all seems like lies now days and you can't tell which is the biggest," said Larry.

"Turn that off why don't you. We still have time to go to church. The service is at 11:00," said Karen.

"Really?" said Larry. "You want to go to church? Why?

"We haven't been there is a while, and it might do us some good. You know get our minds off of all the crap," said Karen.

"What's the sermon topic?" asked Larry. "Do you know?"

"Something about climate change, I think,"said Karen.

"Jesus!", said Larry, "What the fuck are we suppose to do about that?"

"Yeah, well, we could go to the beach and just walk around. That would be relaxing," said Karen.

"I'd rather go the beach," said Larry. "I need a break from all the shit. I feel like my brain is fried."

"Yeah, well, let's go commune with Mother Nature, watch the seagulls, watch the waves, you know, become one with the sea of life," said Karen.

"That's my girl," said Larry. "I love you."

"I love me too," said Karen laughing, "and I love you too."

My Kind Of Church Music - Music is my ammunition, Playing for Change

Story of the day - Is rejection the end of the story?

"You're an asshole!" he shouted into the phone. Then again, "You're an asshole!", and then again, and again, and again. "I don't owe you anything! Don't ask me for anything, expect anything, I don't owe you anything!"

"You don't seem very happy?" was all he said before his son hung up on him.

The father didn't feel rejected but puzzled and concerned for his son who was so vehement in not just non-acceptance, but aggressive and hostile rejection. He had learned that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. And his son was anything but indifferent. He was full of rage. The only thing he could think was "Patricide". His son had just killed his father verbally, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, socially, and now he could have his mother all to himself. The classic Oedipal conflict. It all occurred on the phone.

And so it was over, a relationship of 46 years. Another child lost to him. You have them, you raise them, you invest heart, blood, tears, and it is all so easily rejected. Look what they did to Jesus he thought to himself. I am no better than Him. Look what they did to Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, Gandhi, Bobby Kennedy, Bishop Romero, and the list can go on. Who am I to complain?

Acceptance is not always important. If a person stands for something, is post-conventional, that person will be a threat to the status quo, will be going against the grain of the vested interests, will be upsetting the apple cart, will be perceived as a trouble maker. That's how change is made when the seed of growth is injected into the stagnant system and the system's response is self protection, rejection, even extermination of what it perceives and experiences as toxic to its continued existence.

And so, he realized that his son's vehement rejection, his attempts to kill the relationship, in the end would not prevail, but merely change the form of the connection they have had over the years. With that kind of anger, there was plenty of energy there which would go dormant now until it erupted and manifested itself again at some time in the future, only God knows when.  "It's good," he said to himself. "It's all good." as a tear welled up in his left eye.