Morning Meditation - Creating Our Own Hell Or Returning To God

In spite of what the fundamentalist Christian preachers tell us, Jesus was not concerned with sin. He never judged anyone or condemned them for their sins. Jesus was concerned with their lack of faith and he repeatedly said to his disciples, "Oh ye of little faith, if you only knew how much your father in heaven loves you, you could move mountains."

It is hard for us to believe that our faith could move mountains. We cannot even really connect with what Jesus is saying here. It almost sounds like nonsense until we begin to realize that Jesus is not talking about ego based reality on the earth plane, but a spiritual based reality beyond the ordinary ego based experience.

We have an expression advising people when they are hurt or disturbed "to rise above it". We sometimes in a helpful way remind people, "you are a better person than that. Don't sink to that level." It is in rising above disturbing, hurtful, unjust, and upsetting things that we begin to act on our faith in something beyond the mundane, the nonsense, the bull shit. In rising above it, we have our minds on something holy, something beyond the everyday experience of life, and like Jesus we can say, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

The hallmark of genuine faith, genuine rising above it, is forgiveness. We recognize that most of the world is not there yet - they lack faith. They are still caught up in their ego world and they think it is real. The defenseness, the self justification, the hoarding and greed, and arrogance and pride, the narcissism, the attacks are seen for what they are - feeble attempts to deny the holy and lack of awareness that there is another reality.

It says in A Course For Miracles that we do not get to choose the curriculum of life, but we can choose when we wish to take it. Some people get it faster than others. Money, power, adulation seduce people away from studying the curriculum. Without realizing it, they are busy creating their own hell. People of faith however realize that there is nothing which holiness cannot do and sooner or later we all will return to God whether we are aware of it and ready or not. As the old gospel hymn says, "We've come this far by faith, leaning on the Lord. Trusting in His holy name, He's never failed me yet."

Morning Meditation - Orders within Unitarian Universalism

UU A Way Of Life is working on a number of projects. I have mentioned two on this blog so far. The first is to create life cycle milestone rituals as part of our UU liturgy. The second is to create a liturgical calendar. Both projects will be unveiled soon. The third project is to create orders, religous orders, within Unitarian Universalism which have different missions, functions, and purposes, and which provide a mechanism of affliliation for people with common interests, talents, abilities, and desires.

One such order is the Bartonians who are health care workers and engage in health care ministries. Clara Barton is their luminary and Bartonians band together with mutual support to carry out their mission to the world.

Another such order is the Davidians whose mission is to protect, preserve, and promote the faith. The Davidian's luminary is Francis David who said that you don't have to think alike to love alike.

There certainly can be other orders within Unitarian Universalism which have their own purpose, function, and calling within the overall UU structure.

As the publisher of the blog, UU A Way Of Life, I am drawn to the Davidian order, but as a psychotherapist and a Social Worker I also am drawn to the Bartonians.

I am very interested in your thoughts about developing orders within Unitarian Universalism. Please leave a comment.

Morning meditation - What are you giving up?

Today is Ash Wednesday. It is the day, as a former Roman Catholic, that we were reminded that we are dust and into dust we shall return. It is humbling realization which gives one pause, to reflect on one's demise. As the saying goes, nothing focuses one's attention like staring into the pit of death. It is good for one's soul.

Lent is a time for reflection, self denial which heightens one's awareness of one's own functioning and one's relationship with the people and world around oneself, and the anticipation of the joy of resurrection of spring, of new life, when the planet is reborn with new life.

Self- denial is not about deprivation. It is about a mind and mood altering experience which gives one, hopefully, an attitude of gratitude. It is like Freud's idea of the pleasure/pain principle which contains the idea that one cannot experience pleasure without pain or tension.

As a child we asked one another, "What are you giving up for lent?" Sometimes it was candy, sometimes it was TV, sometimes it was doing an extra good deed every day for someone we didn't like.

I am 63 and I haven't decided yet what I am giving up for lent, but I will decide on something before I go to sleep tonight. The Spirit of Life calls me to be more self aware and to share what I have with others in a generous way. I try to practice this all year around, but at this time of year I think I should do something extra special. It will make Easter and Spring that much sweeter.

What are you giving up?

Morning meditation - Dying well

"We have, in some ways, the women of the baby-boom generation to thank for the hospice movement. They refused to see their parents die surrounded by the machinery of intensive care and said that they would, as an alternative, bring their people home where they could really take care of them. Even though medicine had to be downsized, humanity was upsized in that transaction, and I think all to the good."

Thomas Lynch, The Life Of Meaning, p.10

I went to a day long workshop about 15 years ago on death and dying after my two children were killed. One of the sessions was a panel with a minister, a psychologist, a hospice nurse, and a physician. At the end of their presentations they took questions. I asked, "What would each of you say is a 'good death'?" There was a long pause and the anxiety for some reason went up in the auditorium. They all skirted around the question and none of them answered it. They each said in so many words that because it is a value laiden question, basically "to each his/her own."

It seems to me that we all have to die at some time and it may be in a situation in which we have some control and choices and maybe it will be sudden and unforeseen and we will have very little control and choices. And yet, when we have some control and choices, I think there are better ways to do it than others.

Thomas Lynch points us in the right direction when he talks about the hospice movement and it "upsizing humanity." Unitarian Universalists believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every person and how does this value get implemented in the dying process? It seems to me that people should die in the presence of love, respect, dignity, and good palliative care. People should be able to die in peace with their spirits attended to by people who are not afraid and who can be there as a support in the dying process. Most people, when they die, want to know that they are loved and will be remembered. They want to die with the faith and hope that everything will be okay.

Unitarian Universalism, with its emphasis on heaven on earth and the here and now instead of of suffering now to attain our heavenly reward after we die, could, and should, develop a dying ministry which helps people die well. It could be a mark of our faith and bring comfort to millions if not billions of people.

As the breath of life leaves us, we should rejoice in a life well lived which includes a death well done. What better way to do that than cared for by our family and friends?

Leave a comment on deaths you have witnessed, attended, and anticipate for others and yourself. How have they been handled, are they being handled, do you wish they would be handled?

Morning meditation - Why does god let these things happen?

Last week a disgruntled employee came to Brockport, NY, to Lakeside Hospital and killed two people and wounded a third, and then drove to Cannandaigua and killed a former supervisee and her husband.

The gunman was a male registered nurse who had been accused of sexual harassment by two female supersvisees which had lead to his being fired in two different facilities.

The gunman seemed to be cool, calm, and collected and have his vengence all planned out.

Today, I am doing some Critical Incident Stress Debriefing for hospital employees.

The question most frequently asked is "Why does God let these things happen?"

And what is the answer?

Leave a comment, please.

Morning meditation - It is harder and harder to compartmentalize my life

I have taken a few days off from writing for this blog because I was working on my two other blogs, Markham's Behavioral Health, and GCASA Cares.

Markham's Behavioral Health deals with mental health and social work topics and GCASA Cares deals with substance abuse topics.

I am a Psychiatric Social Worker and have been for 40 years. I am the Executive Director of a Substance Abuse agency in Western New York and I also work in my private practice doing psychotherapy about 20 hours per week.

My work is a major source of joy and satisfaction and fulfillment in my life as well as a source of income.

I believe that this is the work which the Spirit of Life has called me to do and while I don't make much money compared to other professionals it is my bliss and as Joseph Campbell said, if you wonder if you should follow the money or your bliss, follow your bliss.

Perhaps this is the lesson of the economic meltdown in the United States - that greed does not make one happy. There is more to life than acquisition and materialism. Unitarian Universalists have known this of course since they have existed. Social justice and taking care of the poor and the least among us was a major teaching of Jesus easily forgetten in our recent upsurge of Christian fundamentalism.

It is harder and harder for me to compartmentalize my life. I have trouble deciding on what blog to put what articles. So I hope that readers of UU A Way Of Life will also occassionally take a look at Markham's Behavioral Health and GCASA Cares. There are some things which might be of interest to readers of this blog.

Thank you for your attention and reading this post.

Morning meditation - Are you engaged in a salvific enterprise?

I like Rebecca Ann Parker's book, Blessing The World: What Can Save Us Now, edited by Robert Hardies.

Hardies writes in his introduction:

"Her theology isn't merely an academic exercise but an endeavor through which human beings try to repair what is broken in our fragile lives and world. Seen in this way, theology takes salvation not only as its subject but its task. The practice of theology is, itself, a salvific enterprise." p.viii

And so, theology for me is making up stories that help make sense of our human experience. Some theology is good and some theology is bad depending on its outcome.

Calling Jews Christ killers brought us the holocaust and is bad theology. Believing that God made his own son suffer and die for our sins is bad theology. Believing that the way to heaven is to love as I have loved is good theology. Loving our enemies even when the instinct is for revenge is good theology. Having faith in the beneficence and mystery of the universe when you feel like killing yourself so that you will go on living is good theology.

As a Catholic, theology was taught to us and we were told to believe it or else! Or else was going to hell, getting excommunicated, being bad because you were disobedient. As a Unitarian Universalist I am told I can make up my own theology and pick and choose the ideas that seem right and true for me.

I think I would rather have the freedom and be a Unitarian Universalist but I miss the days of having the "right teachings" given to me.

So, coming with the ability to make up one's own theology comes responsibility to oneself, one's community, one's church, one's nation, one's world.

I like the way the Unitarian Universalists put it - "a free and RESPONSIBLE search for truth and meaning."

I learned a lot from Rebecca Ann Parker and what wasn't new was validating for the most part. I recommend her book to you.

Oh yeah, and when was the last time that you saw the word "salvific" in a sentence?

Morning meditation - It is extraordinary to realize one's ordinariness

"What makes equality such a difficult business is that we only want it with our superiors."

Henry Becque

We all want to be special. We all want to be recognized and loved. Some of us want to have a little more than our peers so we can feel superior and be looked up to.

The ego is quite a trickster and while it claims to want what is best for us, in the long run usually contributes mostly damage and destruction for us and our fellows in the long run. If you doubt this idea, look around. You will see evidence every where you look.

It is very unusual to observe the person who is selfless, who has risen above his/her ego, who is enlightened and compassionately works for the good of all. I try to be that kind of person, but often fail especially when I am hungry, angry, lonely, and/or tired.

I have started praying more during the day, asking God to help me do God's will and not my own, to reach out to others in constructive ways and not in selfish ways, to help me observe the grace and blessings and be grateful instead of cynical, negative, and complaining. Interestingly, I find that it helps me feel better and focus more efficiently and effectively on what is important in life.

I like associating with my inferiors and when I find the divine spark in each one of them I drop the comparing which is the problem in the first place. I realize that I am not special and unique, I am ordinary just like everyone else. This realization of ordinariness is very humbling and then liberating.

Jesus and Buddha knew they were ordinary in their extraordinary way and it was in their extraordinary awareness of their ordinariness that they became enlightened.

Morning Meditation - Resisting what needs to be known

“The ugly analysis says the cure for America’s sickness of soul is to lock up more criminals, make the poor fend for themselves, shut the doors to immigrants, remove the social safety net, roll back women’s rights, and silence the arts.”

Rebecca Ann Parker, Blessing The World, p. 124

I wonder at the meanness of spirit which has invaded the United States since the Reagan years. Reagan with his sophistry of “trickle down economics” and “government is not the solution, but the problem” which the gullible working classes loved as the cinematic cowboy with the Howdy Doody smile and jocularity with his plutocratic buddies raped the nation. Then there was George H.W. Bush and Clinton with the Newt Gingrich congress which developed its “contract with America” or better said by the cynics, “Contract On America” and then 8 miserable years with W which has done us all in.

And Americans loved it all and ate it up while they watched their country and livelihoods get stolen from them as they were terrified by their leaders with gay marriage, abortion, and terrorists under every bed. And as Thomas Frank wrote in his book, “What’s the matter with Kansas?” or to use the phrase, "What in God's name is wrong with Americans?"

How do you get people to vote against their own self interests? How do you manipulate them to your political will and then screw them over? Well, as Goering said, the architect of Nazi theology, you inject fear which is quickly followed by hatred and then you have them in the palm of your hand.

And where were the churches when all of this was going on? As with the Nazis, the churches supported it because they hate gays and abortion and Islamo-fascists too. A perfect marriage, the church and the state. And where was Unitarian Universalism in all this?

They are a small part of the dialogue being a fringe religion and a liberal one at that even though in the waning days of this era, they were literally attacked and killed by a gunman who acted out what he heard on the radio every day, a concrete manifestation of what has been going on for decades.

And so, like a mosquito on an elephant’s ass, Unitarian Universalism got its Andy Warhol 15 minutes of recognition in the cable network news cycle and then has dropped off the radar relegated to invisibility once again.

I wonder what the rightful place of Unitarian Universalism is in community life and on the world stage? Does it have anything of value to share with the world? What is its source of power and authority to speak to its members and the people on planet earth? I think its uniqueness is in its perennial wisdom and its values. This is what it needs to preach to the world in a prophetic voice and yet it has been mostly silent as the economic oppression and subjugation and rape and pillage has been underway. Like the other churches it has overlooked Jesus' vast concern for the poor, the marginalized, the downtrodden. Economic justice has not been elevated to primary concern while the issues of race and sexual orientation have held sway.

Rebecca Ann Parker says:
“A prophet is one who is able to name those places in our lives where we are resisting what needs to be known, closing our eyes to what is really happening, silencing what the world is telling us. Silence and denial create an environment in which violence and evil flourish.”

Blessing The World, p. 125

It is simple really. Those who have eyes to see, let them see, and those who have ears to hear, let them hear, and those who have a voice to speak, let them speak, and those who have arms and legs to do, let them do. Keeping our light under a bushel may keep us safe but does a disservice in the long run to ourselves and to the world.

Unitarian Universalism claims to value justice, equity, and compassion in human relations and yet the suffering that we are now witnessing in our country and around the world has been largely ignored as the rich have gotten richer and the poor have gotten poorer. Unitarian Universalists have been largely unable to name those destructive values, opinions, beliefs, and practices that need to be known, and we have closed our eyes to what is really happening, and silencing what the poor have been telling us.

Where are the prophetic voices of Unitarian Universalists? I want to hear them. Who will stand up with the poor and working classes? It certainly has not been UUs who are known as the religion of the Middle and Upper classes. When Unitarian Universalism becomes a religion of the working classes and the poor we might grow, until then we are part of the problem, not the solution.

Morning Meditation - I am blessed

I woke up this morning grieving for the loss of my UU congregation and wondering how people can be so stupid as to take action which is against their own self interest, and detrimental to their own future?

I know, I know, I can hear people say, "that is a very arrogant stand to think he knows what is best". Maybe, I don't know what's best and so I think my thoughts very humbly, but my gut tells me that what they did was wrong, and they are too ignorant or narcissistic to know how to get themselves out of the predicament they have created.

And so I grieve for my former congregation and for the UU movement in general which has so much potential, and so much to offer the world, and can't seem to organize itself to actualize its potential. The UUA presidential campaign reminds me of two nerds running for Student Council president in high school.

I have read Robin Edgar's poignant posts about the lack of acknowledgement of his pain due to what he believes is ministerial malfeasance and the UUA's inept response.

Human beings are imperfect and our institutions, including the church, are broken. If the cradle of Western Civilization and the center of Christendom can kill 6 million Jews in a Holocaust, if the United States can kill millions in two immoral unnecessary wars like Viet Nam and Iraq, it makes a sane person wonder about what the hope is for human kind.

Rebecca Ann Parker says,

"I believe that we must doubt our doubt that there is grace. We must open ourselves to the possibility that there are sources beyond ourselves that sustain us, transform us, save us, that hold us tight in the arms of life. I believe that we must open ourselves to the possibility that this grace is already here, that it has been given, is being given, and will be given."

Blessing The World, p.111

And yet I am touched by grace, ever so lightly, it is easy to not notice, but it is there, and God is very good to me and to my family and to my community and to my country and to my world and I am blessed by the vision and values of Unitarian Universalism.

And so I try to look pass the pain and the sorrow, the frustration and disappointment, the discouragement and grief, and remind myself that God provides possibilities and that today is a new day and that in the end when it all comes out in the wash, I am blessed.

Morning Meditation - Where's the grace?

"We have all probably had at least one time in life when we came to that depth of despair, when we pondered the deepest question that I believe all religion must address: Am I willing to live?"

Rebecca Ann Parker, Blessing The World, p.109.

I like Rebecca Ann Parker. She is a Unitarian Universalist theologian and has been President of Starr King School of Ministry and one time tried to kill herself which she openly describes in her writing.

My ex-wife was involuntarily psychiatrically hospitalized four times after our two children were killed for suicidal ideas and behavior.

The thought has crossed my mind from time to time. What religion can help with this kind of despair?

As a Catholic, I was taught suicide was murder and I would go to hell. My ex-wife wanted to kill herself to be with her dead children and I told her if she killed herself she would go to hell and the children were in heaven so this plan wouldn't work. When I called the priest to consult with us and she asked him if she would go to hell if she killed herself he said "no" and undid all my work, but she seemed better after that and I understand, in his compassion why he said what he said to her pastorally, but his theology was heretical.

It is ironic how the manifestation of God's grace and love is often heretical. Jesus did it when he told the old farts that they couldn't stone the adulterous woman even though the law prescribed it.

Perhaps the antidote for despair is paradox, the awareness of the absurdities and incongruities and the ironies of life. This awareness makes us laugh or deepens our reverence and our gratitude for the grace which seems divine.

"Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a poor wretch like me. I once was lost and now I am found, was blind but now I see."

Does Unitarian Universalism believe in grace? I have never heard a sermon preached in a UU church on this topic. Maybe that's why the denomination is dying, killing itself slowly, sinking into insidious despair with no antidote.

Morning Meditation - How quickly we forget to share

"Our attachment to an economic system that maximizes self interest has broken our covenant with the earth and with one another. As a religious movement, we must grapple with what this means, including taking a hard look at the complicity of our religious tradition in this broken covenant. It is important that we do this. Multiple oppressions that our hearts cry out against - racism, sexism, the neglect of children, the abuse of the environment intersect in an economic system in which the bottom line is individual self interest."

Rebecca Ann Parker, Blessing the World, p. 77

Jesus talked about economic injustice all the time and our duty to the poor. He rarely talked about sex. What do you make of that?

So called Christians don't really understand or want to follow the teachings of Jesus because he talked about the covenant which we have with one another and the earth all the time. It is the major part of his teaching. How is it that it is totally ignored in our so called Judeo-Christian nation?

Greed.

The rise of the corporations who have no soul but only obligations to investors to increase their profit have perverted our spiritual values. Financial profit is their paramount value and "profit" is defined soley in dollars and cents.

We have bought into the capitalistic myth that there is no such thing as greed. The more money the better and any other human values: the environment, people, justice be damned.

I have heard more whining of late about people's stock portfolio's loosing value as if it is the end of the world. It destroyed one church that I was a member of because it perverted the congregation's values to protect their portfolio rather than invest in their people and the future of the church which would benefit their community. So Rev. Parker is right when she says UUs have been complicit. I have watched its pernicious effects on the destruction of a church covenant.

Jesus says it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into heaven.

We have seen the ongoing destruction of our society by capitalism out of control. Perhaps it is time to ressurect a spiritual vision of "creative poverty" as was discussed on the LifeNow! radio show back on December 11, 2008. The First Unitarian Church in Rochester, NY is doing a great job on these economic issues with its Great Good Project and the donations of its collection plate to community groups and agencies that meet community needs.

The opposite of greed is sharing. We all learned this kindergarten, but how quickly we forget.

Morning meditation - Laughing at tragedy

I think often about the love I have for my adult children. I feel terribly sad and guilty for the less than optimum upbringing they endured. I observe the problems that they struggle with which in no small way were influenced by their mother and my inability to be there for them in the ways they deserved.

Do other parents have regrets?

Does God have regrets?

Does God regret that God couldn't have done more for Adam and Eve so that they didn't commit the orginal sin and doom humankind to lives of hell?

I can imagine God crying in sadness, frustration, disappointment, fear for God gave Adam and Eve free will and therefore God, according to the story which has become the basis for much of our theology, was impotent, helpless, could only observe and suffer and not intervene.

Karl Jaspers said that tragedy is awareness in the excess of power. To know how things could be, should be, ought to be, and yet not have the power to make it happen fills one with terrible grief, helplessness, foreboding, and a sense of tragedy.

God knows how I feel watching my adult children because God has been there too.

The Buddhists tell us to let it go. The problem is in our attachment. If you don't care, you can't suffer, so detach, or maybe respond with compassion, but it is hard to be compassionate towards people suffering when you had a hand in creating the factors that they suffer from.

Unitarian Universalism says that it will all come out in the wash. We are all going to heaven sooner or later, and it looks like for us and those we love it will be later rather than sooner.

I suppose a sense of humor helps and a sense of reverence for the mystery of life.

Can you imagine God, watching Adam and Eve commit the original sin, laugh and say to the Godself, "there they go again, will they ever learn?"

Morning meditation - You will never find God if you have to be in control

"Perhaps my single greatest disappointment in most of the world's religions is that they have succeeded, against all odds, in making most people afraid of God."

Richard Rohr, From Wild Man To Wise Man, p.1

I don't know if anyone would consider Unitarian Universalism a world religion. It is not Christian, nor Jewish, nor Buddhist, nor Hindu, nor Muslim. What the hell is Unitarian Universalism? It is an amalgamation of the world's religions and a purveyor of the perennial wisdom.

I can't think of anything that Unitarian Universalism has done to make people afraid of God, can you? If anything, it has countered this tendency and given people hope that in the end everyone goes to heaven.

Father Rohr points out that people try to manipulate God by engaging in religious practices, living moral lives, doing good works, etc. and God will not be manipulated. God is pretty wild and has a life of God's own leaving the aware person to surrender, to acknowledge his/her vulnerability, to open up to receiving God's grace. Rohr points out that this seems to be easier for women than for men and thus a special need for a male spirituality.

Rohr writes in his essay, The Wild Man, "God does not love us because God has to. God loves us because God wants to. God does not love us because we are good. God loves us because God is good. Why can't we surrender to that? Because it initially feels like a loss of power and importance!" p.3

Being aware of God's love for us requires a recognition and acknowledgement that we are not in control of the universe, that our navel is not the center of the world, that God does not love us because we are good and deserve it and have earned it, but because God is good and loves all of God's creation. Isn't that a Universalist message if there ever was one?

Morning meditation - What the world needs now: World Days of conscience

"I am finding that our unique Christian path of transformation is indeed much narrower than I once imgagined. It demands death, the death of the small self. How will we ever make that attractive or popular?"

Richard Rohr, A Clandestine Christian, in Contemplation and Action, p. 133

I like Richard Rohr. His heart seems to be in the right place and he is a smart guy. However, his claim that the death of the small self is a "unique Christian path" is bogus unless I misunderstand him. The death of the small self is part of the perennial wisdom and is part of all the significant religious traditions. Even psychology recognizes the problems which the ego creates and the need to "rise above it", i.e. transform our narcissism and egoism into a transcendent awareness that recognizes the interdependent web and the illusion of the individual self.

Does Unitarian Universalism help us in this transformation? We have the history of the transcendentalists and guys like Emerson who talked about the "oversoul".

There is a deep spiritual hunger in the world today and especially in the United States for purpose, for a sense of something greater than self to give one's life to. This impulse often gets corrupted by chauvanism, idiotic yellow ribbons that say, "Support the troops", "My country right or wrong", and by sports and celebrity synchophancy.

It would be very constructive if Unitarian Universalism could channel this impulse into the amelioration of the individual and the society in which he/she lives. The challenge is how to do this effectively.

Recognition of the perennial wisdom and interfaith collaboration in worship, education, and service would be a good start.

I think Robin Edgar's attempt to raise planetary awareness with a World Day Of Conscience at the times of the solar eclipses is a great idea. Unfortunately, he was labled as the leader of a "cult" and "psychotic" by people in the Unitarian Universalist leadership. Perhaps, his idea is ahead of the times, but I think he is on to something and the UUA leadership would be wise to give his idea thoughtful consideration.

Morning meditation - God doesn't just love you, God loves you abundantly

"If we knew how much God loved us, there would be no sin."

Thomas Merton

If we knew how much God loved us we wouldn't have to spend a life time proving that we are okay. We wouldn't have to spend a life time lying, cheating, envying, stealing, and exploiting others because we would know we are okay just the way we are. We wouldn't have to spend a life time competing, exploiting, manipulating and using others because what would be the point?

If we knew how much God loves us there would be no point to sin, it would have no meaning, because we would be living constantly in the shower of God's boundless Grace.

Historically, Universalism has taught this, but it has been lost in our modern culture. People are not given a theology which insists on their inherent worth and dignity and the inherent worth and dignity of God's creation. Does the support for choice, i.e., abortion, support a theology of inherent worth and dignity or detract from it? Does the support for assisted suicide support a theology of inherent worth and dignity or detract from it?

Does ministerial abuse support a theology of justice, equity and compassion in human relations or detract from it?

The ultimate question as we live our lives is "What would love have us do?" And if we lived in our lives authentically in response to that question, Thomas Merton is right, there would be no sin. But there is plenty of it, all around us and in us and between us and the root cause is our sense of inadequacy, the original sin, which is born out of a deep seated belief that we are not loved. If Unitarian Universalism is to grow and experience its power in the world, it must develop a theology of God's love for us. I don't hear it in church on Sunday. I don't read it in UU publications. If I were looking for it in more academic texts of UU intellectuals, I don't know where I would find it.

I know that God loves us and me not just a little, but abundantly and I have my life to prove it, but I have a difficult time convincing others that God loves them because they seem too damaged, but I hope that we can change the culture so that all people know that they are loved.

Morning Meditation - Filling up the hole in the soul

"The rabbi of Sassov once gave away the last money he had in his pocket to a man of ill repute. His disciples threw it up to him. He answered them: "Shall I be more finicky than God, who gave it to me?"

Tales of the Hasidim in Peacemaking: Day by Day, p.16

Parents shame their children with malicious attacks like "Who do you think you are?!!!!" "You should be ashamed of yourself!!!"

And, indeed, at our core most of us feel inadequate, defective, damaged in some basic way. We are ashamed of ourselves and we don't even know why.

So we pretend that we are better than we feel we are. We compete. We strive. We live in fear of failing the test, of being rejected by our friends, of being abandoned by those we feel we love. This fear becomes symptomatic and we go to the doctor who gives us drugs and sometimes we have been drugging ourselves already with alcohol, marijuana, nicotine, pain killers, food, gambling, sex, work, religion, and other mood altering activities.

We compulsively buy things which advertisers promise us will make us all right, make us feel better, makes us the envy of our friends. Our children beg us for the latest fad so they can fit in and be kewl and out of our insecurities we buy the stuff for our kids because we don't want to see them suffer any more than they do already.

And this whole vicious cylcle, built on deap seated shame, leads to materialism, greed, over indulgence, hoarding, anxiety, depression, psychosis, and death of the spirit if not the body.

And what does Unitarian Universalism have to offer to a society based in a deep seated belief in inadequacy and defectiveness?

Unitarian Universalism says that it values the inherent worth and dignity of every person. Unitarian Universalism has a respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part. Unitarian Universalism believes in a world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all.

There is something deeply perverted about a society built on the transmission of inadequacy and defectiveness to its members. Parents do this to their children to control them because it was done to them. The religions join in and reinforce what the parents have done. Along come the marketeers and they constantly reinforce the basic inadequacies of people which can only be dissolved with the purchase of their products. This is the world we have built and the world we will continue to live in until there is a change in consciousness. It will take at least 25% of the population to reach the tipping point. Unitarian Universalists are a long way off from reaching that critical mass in our society. Can Unitarian Universalism help people fill the hole in their souls?

Morning Meditation - Spirituality of old age

"We are born with a bottomless sense of inadequacy. Augustine named it original sin. When we are young we spend a lot of energy countering it, proving ourselves. Old age permits a tolerance through the slow realization that 'these are the jokes,' this is the 'me' that there isn't enough time to reconstruct. Old age offers the space to forgive myself as well as others, to accept myself just as I am, self-deceits and all, to accept our children, our siblings, our friends, just as they are. The process begins with entering a dark wood with steps both timid and bold, holding the paradoxes, absorbing the opposites, remembering that we are part of a dying and rising universe."

Frederika Carney, And Laugh at Gilded Butterflies, in Contemplation and Action by Richard Rohr and friends, p. 101-102

I have been thinking for some time about the spirituality of seniors. As a senior myself at age 63, I have noticed that the quality of my spirituality seems to be changing. I still have the fire in my belly and want to embark on new things but then I have to remind myself that I am 63 and that I should be winding down not starting things up.

There are days when I want to look for a new job, find a mate and have a child, make bold plans to build a house, and engage in other life changing activities. I know that I can do some of these things, but some of them are just not age appropriate even though others have done them.

And so, I settle down, and reflect and wonder what I should be doing at this stage of my life? The householder stage is over and I am entering the phase of the wise elder or the monastic stage where there is more time and energy to examine the spirit. There is more time for contemplation and to be of service. There is a wisdom in later life that comes from knowing what matters. Sharing this with the younger generation as they flail around trying to make meaning out of their life is a worthwhile activity.

I think as one gets older the values of Unitarian Universalism become more salient. They resonate more deeply. It becomes much more apparent that there is an inherent worth and dignity to every person something overlooked when one was younger, more competitive, trying to get ahead in the world. It becomes much more apparent that life is about justice, and equity and compassion. One is tired of being a winner at the expense of creating more loosers. There is a new found desire for truth and meaning and a willingness to rise above old prejudices and look for truth and meaning in places rejected earlier in life. There is a growing appreciation of the interdependent web of all existence and a recognition of the self being a very small part almost insignificant in the wonder and mystery of it all unlike the heady days of adolescence when we believed our navels were the center of the universe and the sun rose and set for our benefit alone.

The spirituality of old age is lovely. It takes one places that one needs to go to get ready to die which is one of the biggest challenges which we, as human beings, face. I have found that my Unitarian Universalist helps me with this task in very satisfying ways. The idea that we are not a self but just a small part of an interdependent web of existence is a profound insight that contributes to a sense that death is not extinguishment but a transformation and that in some sense we all are eternal.

Morning Meditation - "Love as I have loved"

I heard Annie Lamott say that the opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty. Faith entails belief in the unknowable. God, at least my understanding of God, is that God is unknowable. God is a mystery beyond understanding. Perhaps we have glimpses or inklings of what God might be like, but God is unfathomable to us human beings.

And yet, there are those, who claim to know who God is and what God wants. They say they know this from a book as if God could be captured in some text. This seems like a very small God who amounts to little beyond a character in a novel, a superhero in a story.

In the spiritual life, we humbly approach the mysterious. We are filled with reverence, with awe, with joy at the prospect of the transcendent. We have faith and hope in love. For the best description of the force we call God might be love and Jesus tells us that the way to the kingdom is "to love as I have loved." As we look around at the expressions of religion today, it seems that a good criterion to use to assess their authenticity is the amount of love they facilitate and express.

Is Unitarian Universalism known as a loving religion? I think of it as more intellectual and emotionally distant and reserved. Who are the loving UUs we could point to? There are some like Clara Barton. Any others?

Rev. Galen Guengerich says that the Jews are known for their obedience, the Muslims for their submission, the Christians for their love, and that UUs should be known for their gratitude. I tend to agree with him. However gratitude isn't born out of love, but out of appreciation and perhaps obligation which comes from an ethic of reciprocity. Love is a finer thing especially if it is unconditional. True love takes one out of his/her ego and shares with the beloved as the natural state of things.

I want to be a UU who is grateful but who also takes it up a notch and who is loving even when I am not grateful. Jesus says that the way to the kingdom is to "Love as I have loved."

Morning meditation - Restoring right relationship

Entering into covenant with others implies ethical responsibilities for right relationship. An important ingredient in "right relationship" is a sense of justice, a sense of fairness.

This idea of fairness or justice in right relationship is always bilaterally or multilaterally defined by the parties involved. It can't be effectively imposed on the those in relationship by an external source although we try to do this all the time.

What happens when there is an offense to one of the parties sense of fairness in relationship is anger, hurt, resentment and a deep desire to want to rectify the sense of injustice. This leads to either withdrawal, retribution, or an attempt to engage in clarification and rectification. Sometimes people move too quickly to "forgiveness", placating, or avoidance trying to avoid further conflict.

Forgiveness cannot be granted unless the sin is named, and in an effort to save face and avoid shame either the perpetrator becomes defensive and refuses to engage honestly in the naming process or the victim decides, in the interest of restoring the status quo, to avoid clarification and naming the injury, the offense, the sin.

An important ethical skill is the ability to name our sins, to accept responsibility for our part in ethical breaches. We live in a society which prizes its right to avoid responsibility. Our whole criminal justice system is based on an adversarial model wherein the perpetrator is given the right to not incriminate him/herself. While there may be some value in this for a criminal justice system, it is a corrosive idea from an ethical perspective. Taking responsibility is not only necessary for true justice to occur, but it is necessary for the restoration of right relationship.

Spiritual growth requires honesty, integrity, and the assumption of ethical responsibility. There are huge personal and social forces which oppose this value. The second principle of Unitarian Universalism is "justice, equity, and compassion in human relations," and it is one of the most difficult to implement and live by.

In the recent conflict in the church I used to belong to there was an attempt at clarification and reconciliation, but it left me bereft because the effort was to help people save face, gloss over the ethical breaches, in an attempt to dispel the bad feelings, and help people "feel better" and "love one another" but we have not named the sins and without an assessment of the harm done it is difficult to successfully repair it.

Reconciliation is not about helping the distressed parties to feel good, but to identify the harm which has occurred and generate ideas about how to repair it. This sadly did not occur and this church family is DOA, dead on arrival.

When injustice has occurred, it is important to call a spade a spade, take the bull by the horns, and get things straightened out. Whitewashing to spare people their feelings usually doesn't work. However, having the courage to be honest and take responsibility is the elixir of human integrity. Without that, relationships cannot continue with any meaningful genuineness which provide the context, the soil, for vibrant spiritual growth.